to think there’s something a bit sad about toddlers napping so easily at nursery?

[TawnyHabenero]

Feral wild beasts at home that say NOOOO NEVER to naps.

Compliant little submissive creatures at nursery who will just lay down on a mat and go to sleep.

Is it just me or does it feel a bit sad, like they’re out of their comfort zone/inhibited at nursery that they just lie down and comply?

Or they’re just rascals with their parents and secretly they love to nap

It's not sad. I think they all need the nap after a few hours of terrorising the nursery staff.

DS tried to give up naps at 2, I rebranded them as "quiet lying down time" which weirdly worked. After a few days of resistance, he merrily succumbed to going to his bed, being zipped into his sleeping bag, the lights turned off and door closed so he could have quiet time. I'd get a good hour out of this. Joyful.

I think those stopped when he was 4.

He did refuse to consistently sleep on his own at night until he was about 6 though. We used to have to fish him out of his sister's bed or he would appear in our bed in the middle of the night.

You never came back OP, what was the meaning of your post?

Like all the exotic food they eat at nursery too!

My DS was such a fussy eater at home, I could have cried! Pick him up from nursery and he's eaten morroccan lamb with cous cous, beef stew with dumplings, chicken curry with rice and naan etc!

But I think it's mob mentality, they are all together with friends so they do the same thing together and save all the stubbornness for us! Gits! 😆

This. We often have spinach soup with boiled egg and home made bread, and most children love it. But the parents assume they haven’t eaten. 😄

I've worked in the wobblers room and it is hilarious. They have had a nappy change, a hot meal and a drink and they are told its time for sleep. Lights down, music on etc. They waddle over half drunk from food and fall onto their mats, some sleep within seconds. If you saw them an hour earlier they are so busy playing, exploring, running dancing laughing etc you'd know why they sleep so easy. They are burning up so much more energy than a child at home would. There is of course the herd mentality too, if everyone else is sleeping there is no fun in lying awake.

That was mine! We used to call him 'Honeyson Who Would Not Sleep'.

Nursery is busy and stimulating, they have their friends and are active. If they sleep it is because they need to process what they've been learning. Depending on age not all will sleep. Most children behave differently with different expectations too. They always push boundaries with parents more and full time children push boundaries with staff more than part time children because of the increased familiarity.

If children behaved at nursery as they do at home for their parents, rather than following the herd, there wouldn't be any kids for you to collect as the staff would have sold them all and done a runner.

Weird how people who have worked in childcare for years, work in a building dedicated to looking after children, and have qualifications in how to look after children, seem to be quite good at looking after children.

Also weird how doctors are better at being doctors than me, mechanics are better mechanics than me, pilots are better at flying planes than me, and how Amanda Holden gets TV work.

I got scared away by that heady mix of being shamed as well as accused of shaming

There’s something a bit sad about toddlers napping so easily at nursery?

Yeah, I hate it when my kid is worn out with fun and feels safe and secure enough to sleep in a different place and wake up to being well rested. It's literally the worst.

My favourite thing is being tired and having to wrestle an overtired, screaming toddler down for a nap.

I mean op you are entitled to your opinion but I never thought It was sad I thought it was cute seeing them all lay on their little mats :)

Feral wild beast is not something you ‘let’ children be, they just are.

Parents can choose to embrace this natural state whilst making them feel safe with firm boundaries and consistent routines, so children feel loved for who they are.

Or, parents can nitpick and badger and bombard them with ‘no’s, until the child internalizes self-subjugation and the beast is stifled but either erupts violently or stays repressed and erupts as an adult through maladaptive coping mechanisms.

😂😂 It is weird how 25 years of working with small children, all of them different with different needs, has actually made me quite good at it. Forgot the 4 years at uni and numerious courses with latest research during the years. Almost like magic.
Like most occupations.

Ooh what’s your stealth boast here? Your kids act no different at home vs. nursery because home is not a safe place to express themselves?

Boundaries and routines are some of the very most important things for children. Permissive parenting = abuse.

Nowt wrong with a feral beast, as long as it is tightly bound by respectful behavior and has a reliable routine. These things are not mutually exclusive

What's the difference between your two options though?

I'm sure most parents would like to think they are doing your first option - freedom with firm boundaries/consistency. In reality, many won't have the firm boundaries and consistency, which will be a problem, and some may stray into too much control, your second option. But surely it's all just a matter of degree/opinion.

Parent A has a set bedtime for their child. Parent B puts their child to be when they seem tired. Who is in the wrong? Who is in the right? Or is there no right/wrong approach? Although obviously Part A's approach works better for nursery.

What if I told you that I have no set naptimes/bedtimes for my children? I don't have the fights you do over naptimes and bedtimes because we don't have any. Would that be too 'feral' for you?

Please show me the shame

They copy others. Mine get their cuddlesand soft toys and they have the choice to sleep or read. They copy others. They relax in the company of other kids.

You are projecting.

Yeah- didn't work that way for my toddler. Happily slept at home on his own in his own bed. At nursery, on a mat surrounded by other toddlers he could chat to- no chance. Eventually they had to put him in the next room with a colouring book or he kept everyone else awake too!

I've worked in a nursery in toddlers and pre-school and I can tell you that some children act like feral wild beasts in nursery too at nap time!
I used to spend a looooooong time rubbing backs and listening to white noise and had to desperately try to keep my eyes open while some of the wriggly little toddlers refused to nap and others would throw their shoes around. Most of them managed to get off to sleep eventually but not many of them would simply lie down and go straight to sleep!

I don’t think it’s sad.

When both of mine were babies they were cuddled to sleep and they needed this at nursery too.

As toddlers, they would lay down to sleep fine at nursery. It was part routine, part copying the others and part tiredness from all the activity. At home it was harder as our routine wasn’t as structured, and they often dozed in the car if we went out.

They are burning energy all morning with lots of stimulation, they are in a set routine that starts from day one, plus every other child is doing it. Alot off our toddlers are sleepy by lunchtime and can't wait for their nap.

Our 2 year old does not nap at nursery much to their dismay because that's when they do their staff lunch breaks. She's been there a month or so. They've tried. She refuses so they have to let her play while the other kids nap. She gave up naps at home about 6 months ago too 😬 We did tell them this and they still seemed confused when telling us she seemed very upset when they tried to take her to the sleep room 😂

I know what you mean but no, I think it's just a case of them happy to go and do what the other children are doing.

I actually thought my child was wanting to drop naps but apparently he lines up at the door waiting to get in to the nap room! So he definitely enjoys it

Yup, little mat on the floor, bit of music, out like a light

No chance at home