To wonder how to not let people provoke you?

[OneOpenRedShaker]

I often find myself getting provoked by certain comments or behaviours from others, and I’m curious about how to manage my reactions better. How do you all handle situations when someone tries to get a rise out of you? Any strategies or advice for staying calm and not letting others affect your mood?

I've found being dead inside to be hugely beneficial to not allowing other people's shit to get to me.

Well if that's your objective, I guess that's working for you, dear.

Practice on mumsnet.
I've learnt not to bite quite well on here....

Best advice so far!

What is it that they say that bothers you then look at what it’s triggering in you. Then tackle the thing it triggers. Best it not to rise to it, acknowledge the feeling. Walk away. The more often you do this eventually it won’t bother you in the same way.

One of my friends will say things deliberately to provoke and, as I care what she thinks of me, it can wind me up/unsettle me a bit in the first instance. I sometimes deal with it by bland agreement ("Yeah you've probably got a point" or just "ok then") & sometimes by grey rocking. It comes from her stuff not mine.

I tell my children to think about what people are trying to achieve. Life is like a chess game, think about what a person is doing and what their objectives are. If they are trying to manoeuvre you then the worst thing you can do is react in the way they want you to.

Walk away. Don't engage. It's better for your peace of mind.
That's why there's all these stabbings etc it's basically uncontrolled anger.

Leave. Most couples irritate one another sometimes and that can be worked through, but why would you want to be with someone who deliberately winds you up for his own entertainment?

It can be different situation to situation, but generally not caring what someone thinks does help. Obviously I care what some people think - but they're not the ones behaving like idiots to begin with. If someone is trying to get a rise out of me, they plummet in my estimations of them so it makes it easier not to give a shit.

Shrug. "Okay." Nonplussed look. Carry on with what you're doing.

Or "you feeling okay today, Brenda?"

"Sorry, I don't know what you mean. Can you explain?" In which scenario they'll probably dig themselves deeper, so then comes the shrugging and "okay".

Just don't engage. No point making your day shit just because they've decided it should be.

when you say you want some advice re how to “manage your reactions”

what are your “reactions” generally?

Yeah I don’t like that, it’s a bit gaslight-y.

what a waste of time and energy

do you “loathe” many people @PuppiesProzacProsecco ?