Page 2 | School mums

ivise · 2024-09-27T07:55:31+00:00

Hi , how would u react if a mum who u have met in school coffee morning and had a brief chat not greeting u ever ? Our kids clearly are getting on but for some reason she kind of always ignores me or doesn't make an eye contact at all to say hello .She goes up to other mum and greets her but not me , so weird . We don't even know each other to be to not like unless she just doesn't like me or am I overthinking? I just want to be civil as our daughters are very much playing together all the time . Other mums gives u at least smile or smth .I can tell she is diff towards me . Just feel the vibes are off .

Prosopagnosic · 01/10/2024 19:59

Please look up prosopagnosia and consider it as a possibility - one or two percent of the population have it. She may simply be unable to recognise you, i.e., she may see you, but not have a sense of having ever met you. There can be no rhyme or reason to whether a person who is prosopagnosic can or can't recognise someone else, so her greeting another mother doesn't rule this out at all. It is awful to offend people without being able to help it - for this reason I always tell people about mine on first meeting, but not everyone does.

bringslight · 01/10/2024 20:04

honeylulu · 27/09/2024 09:38

I get what you're saying OP. It would be so easy and cost nothing to smile as you pass and return a quick hello if someone says it to you. It just makes for a nicer atmosphere.

There may be various reasons why she doesn't.

She could be always stressed/ in a rush/ distracted. (I have ADHD and I'm often in a daydream. People have accused me before of blanking them or giving them dirty looks which I definitely never intended!)
She may have "face blindness". I know a lady like this. It took her about 2 years to learn my face and start returning my breezy hellos and we're quite friendly now.
She may just be a bit socially obnoxious and DGAF about niceties.
Or, a variation of the above, she might be someone who is anxious to get into/ stay in the Queen Bee's clique and avoids any sort of association with anyone deemed not worthy. This has happened to me (mums who were initially friendly at the start of reception until they figured I was not worth knowing, then acted as if I was invisible).

If it's the last two, she's not worth a moment more of your thought space, trust me. Just carry on being you. Your child will still make friends. The older they get, the less it is in the parents hands.

Praise the Lord

LittleMonks11 · 02/10/2024 09:01

Prosopagnosic · 01/10/2024 19:59

Please look up prosopagnosia and consider it as a possibility - one or two percent of the population have it. She may simply be unable to recognise you, i.e., she may see you, but not have a sense of having ever met you. There can be no rhyme or reason to whether a person who is prosopagnosic can or can't recognise someone else, so her greeting another mother doesn't rule this out at all. It is awful to offend people without being able to help it - for this reason I always tell people about mine on first meeting, but not everyone does.

Don't be daft. She recognises the other mums.

Sounds like she just doesn't want you to befriend her for whatever reason.

TheFirstSnow · 02/10/2024 09:28

@ivise hang in there, I found the playground mums made me feel like I was back at school. Thankfully this stage does not last forever. Before you know it, your kids will be taking themselves to and from school and you won’t even know their friends, let alone their friends’ parents.
I experienced this from lots of mums at pick up and drop off—at best it’s rude, at worst it’s deliberately cruel.
This particular mum you mention is not worth your time or thoughts. Find the ones that do make eye contact/smile/acknowledge that you exist. These are the ones you should gravitate to. Your daughter can chat to whomever she likes.
The people on here who say they are in a rush! What absolute BS. You can smile and say good morning to someone as you walk past them. It doesn’t delay you in the slightest and it makes that person feel like a human being, not something you are avoiding stepping in.

Prosopagnosic · 02/10/2024 10:48

LittleMonks11 · 02/10/2024 09:01

Don't be daft. She recognises the other mums.

Sounds like she just doesn't want you to befriend her for whatever reason.

Show quote history

Would you call someone reporting their personal experience of any other disability "daft"?!

In point of fact, OP has only reported that this person recognises "other mum", singular. For all we know there is just one other mother that this person is able to recognise - perhaps because they have known one another for decades, perhaps because the other person has some distinctive characteristic, we don't know.

LittleMonks11 · 02/10/2024 18:25

Prosopagnosic · 01/10/2024 19:59

Please look up prosopagnosia and consider it as a possibility - one or two percent of the population have it. She may simply be unable to recognise you, i.e., she may see you, but not have a sense of having ever met you. There can be no rhyme or reason to whether a person who is prosopagnosic can or can't recognise someone else, so her greeting another mother doesn't rule this out at all. It is awful to offend people without being able to help it - for this reason I always tell people about mine on first meeting, but not everyone does.

Shouldn't have called your suggestion 'daft' you're right. Apologies.

However I would bet a lot of money this lady doesn't have this condition.

QuickJadeUser · 02/10/2024 18:37

Have you tried headbutting her in the nose? That would make her remember you for sure.