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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Annual leave is a terrible excuse!

105 replies

ANightingaleSang · 27/09/2024 07:25

How many times can you get away with using annual leave as a excuse for failing to respond in a timely manner/delays?

For context I have been in discussions with a third party for over a year! I was anticipating we would have the issue resolved within 4 months, ideally sooner.

At every stage the person I am in communication with is saying things such
'I'll take a look when I get back from annual leave at the end of next week'
Sorry for the delay, I've been on leave and only returned 2 days ago. Ive been in back to back meetings since. I'm off again until 2nd October, I will take a look then.

This has not been once or twice but at least 15 times over the past year

So far I've gritted my teeth and remained polite but it's getting ridiculous. Does he ever work? If he's away so often surely he should delegate tasks to someone else? I'm being left in limbo waiting.

The cherry on the cake that pushed me over the edge was that he gave me a 2 week deadline to respond to a a report. I had to do a mountain of work and got back to him ahead of the deadline l. He then replied he'd look at it on 2nd of October (see above). I just find that rude!

I have always replied within 2-3working days. All the delays are on their side

Am I being unreasonable to think that annual leave can be used as an excuse once or twice but after that it's just ridiculous?

Does anyone have any comebacks? I need to remain professional but if he keeps stringing me along i am going to explode!

Thank you!

OP posts:
Original poster
ANightingaleSang · 27/09/2024 18:06

@MayaPinion Thank you. It wasn't my intention at all to bash academics! I realise they don't have control over extensions etc. What I do find difficult to understand is that academics, to have got where they are (usually PhD) they must have had to submit coursework and adhere to deadlines. Yet it seems many (of course not all) do have difficulty respecting deadlines more generally. Perhaps it's deadline burnout, who knows? Again it's absolutely not my intention to criticise academics generally, the one I'm dealing, however, is utterly useless.

OP posts:
Original poster
ANightingaleSang · 27/09/2024 18:10

@LlynTegid I love this. I wish I had a fraction of your matter of fact assertiveness. I've found that especially as I've become more experienced/qualified, fewer people take me seriously at work (especially men). My baby face definitely doesn't help.

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Towerofsong · 27/09/2024 18:11

I used to have to try and get something handled by someone in the Defence establishment. I swear they must have accumulated about 6 months a year of annual leave.

They also said they were the only person who could resolve this issue, they eventually agreed to give me the name of someone else when I asked for 'business continuity' but that person was subordinate and had to refer back to them anyway.....

Took about Two Painful Years....

Nothanks17 · 27/09/2024 18:16

mammabing · 27/09/2024 07:30

”Hello, please can you send me the dates of all of your upcoming annual leave as I’m finding it difficult to communicate with you in a timely manner. This way I can only message you when it’s mutually convenient”

This is great!

Magnoliafarm · 27/09/2024 18:32

I need to know what sectors you all work for where someone covers your work for you in your absense :'( I still haven't caught up after annual leave at the start of the month. I've stayed hours late every day and I'm just drowning. Still have 190 unread emails in my inbox. If it's public sector is it possible that they are really understaffed so every day they just have to prioritise and do what they can?

Original poster
ANightingaleSang · 27/09/2024 18:44

@Magnoliafarm that sounds rough! I think it really depends on the type of work you do. I think it's good practice that if you are the only one who can progress something then loose ends should be tied up before leave, you should communicate with the other party to let them know you will be on leave etc.

in this case the individual seems to be going on leave every other week. I looked back over the email history and it has gone fro. Annual leave, to just 'leave' to I'll be 'away.' if they are away often for whatever reason, then really someone else should be given access to their inbox, or somebody else employed to do the job they are supposed to be doing. It doesn't help that Monday's, Tuesdays and Fridays are also write offs.

As others have said, I wouldn't be surprised if this is delay tactics. I would be very very surprised if he hasn't already read the last email I sent him. This isn't a little matter and should be quite high up on their list of priorities.

Im questioning now whether I have been too polite and submissive over the last year.

OP posts:
Tiredofallthis101 · 28/09/2024 01:18

ANightingaleSang · 27/09/2024 18:44

@Magnoliafarm that sounds rough! I think it really depends on the type of work you do. I think it's good practice that if you are the only one who can progress something then loose ends should be tied up before leave, you should communicate with the other party to let them know you will be on leave etc.

in this case the individual seems to be going on leave every other week. I looked back over the email history and it has gone fro. Annual leave, to just 'leave' to I'll be 'away.' if they are away often for whatever reason, then really someone else should be given access to their inbox, or somebody else employed to do the job they are supposed to be doing. It doesn't help that Monday's, Tuesdays and Fridays are also write offs.

As others have said, I wouldn't be surprised if this is delay tactics. I would be very very surprised if he hasn't already read the last email I sent him. This isn't a little matter and should be quite high up on their list of priorities.

Im questioning now whether I have been too polite and submissive over the last year.

You have been too polite n submissive. You know you have. So what are you gonna do about it?

Coruscations · 28/09/2024 01:58

ANightingaleSang · 27/09/2024 08:17

@BuffaloCauliflower I could say that, but it would be ballsy because I'd have to follow through if they didn't meet the deadline... And that could get expensive. Its my last resort.

Show quote history

Why? You've said that they would have to pay significantly more than you have been requesting if you took this to court. Surely the extra you can expect to receive would outweigh any expense, particularly given that it sounds almost inevitable that they would be ordered to pay costs.

HanaLeigh · 28/09/2024 02:17

Darkfloods · 27/09/2024 08:09

Does he work for you local education authority? Annual leave seems a regular excuse for not getting things done in a timely manner in mine.

I do…with the same standard number of days annual leave as anyone else, (except I can only take it in school holidays).

Cookiesndreams · 28/09/2024 02:31

I know a bit how you feel! I do freelance work and this one person I work with is so hard to get a hold off. She’s on “annual leave”, then she’s “working remotely from abroad” so not really “checking her inbox” , then she’s “got a cold”, then she is doing this or that. I’m about to part ways with her. Things that should be sorted in a few weeks take months with her.

Original poster
ANightingaleSang · 28/09/2024 05:22

Coruscations · 28/09/2024 01:58

Why? You've said that they would have to pay significantly more than you have been requesting if you took this to court. Surely the extra you can expect to receive would outweigh any expense, particularly given that it sounds almost inevitable that they would be ordered to pay costs.

Show quote history

Time I think is the main answer. I persevered through this process because I thought settling would be quicker. Turns out it probably wasn't. Now we are close to settling I am worried that going down a legal route would be a huge headache and stress plus take even more time to resolve. Also I am the first to admit I have zero legal knowledge or experience, so to me that it would be like walking in the dark. I also don't have the money upfront to pay legal fees (even though I could claim these back). In hindsight, I should have done it sooner! I'm going to give them until the end of October and then will bite the bullet and get a solicitor.

OP posts:
Original poster
ANightingaleSang · 28/09/2024 05:29

Tiredofallthis101 · 28/09/2024 01:18

You have been too polite n submissive. You know you have. So what are you gonna do about it?

Show quote history

I'm going to create a post on Mumsnet asking for advice on how others would handle this situation. I'm going to read all the very helpful and supportive comments. Then I will enjoy crafting a fucking astounding no-bullshit email to the Muppet in question (whilst simultaneously kicking myself for not doing it sooner) giving him (not asking for) a hard deadline before commencing legal action. Subsequently I will reflect on why I was so submissive. Do I really have such little self respect that I allow myself to be walked all over? I think not. Going forward I will make a conscious effort to be more assertive in my communications, even if that means stepping outside my comfort zone.

OP posts:
Original poster
ANightingaleSang · 28/09/2024 05:34

HanaLeigh · 28/09/2024 02:17

I do…with the same standard number of days annual leave as anyone else, (except I can only take it in school holidays).

Show quote history

I think this is a work-shy individual problem rather than an industry wide problem, exacerbated by the fact I've been a pushover and let myself fall to the bottom of their priority list. People do have leave every fortnight. (I suspect he is actually WFH and calling it leave or just using it as a delay tactic). He conveniently goes on leave EVERY time I give him some work to do!

OP posts:
PoshMonkey · 28/09/2024 05:58

At the end of the day, annual leave shouldn't make a jot of difference if he is efficient and getting things done. It's a stalling tactic.

For stuff like this, always use email then you have a trail. It also helps if you keep notes....
25 Sep. Emailed Dave about snail problem
18 Oct. Dave emailed to say he would reply when he is back from annual leave on 25 Oct
27 Oct Chased Dave about snail problem

If he says he'll deal with it when he gets back from annual leave on 4 October then give him a day or so then chase. You have to be relentless. It helps if you stay neutral in communications rather than 'nice' or a bit stroppy.

Depending on where he sits in this I would have escalated this to someone more senior. Failing that, I would take it to next stage (legal action). Don't threaten, just do it so start claims process then send email to say that this is taking too long to resolve so you have engaged a solicitor to start legal proceedings against him.

Unfortunately, some people won't do anything unless they get the proverbial kick up the backside.

PoshMonkey · 28/09/2024 06:06

You sound lovely by the way so don't beat yourself up. If you have to collate information as part of your job, you realise that people generally fall into two camps, the good and the utterly feckless lying idiots.

Original poster
ANightingaleSang · 28/09/2024 06:09

@PoshMonkey Thanks for this. I really like the idea of starting a manual email trail. I currently just keep all the emails and refer back to them. I have been chasing him most weeks, so he is very used to seeing my name in his inbox. I'm probably like some annoying add pop up at the moment.

OP posts:
PoshMonkey · 28/09/2024 07:09

I think the notes help to keep you focused because you can see exactly what has happened in your own words without scrolling through hundreds of emails. It's also evidence if you need escalate it or go the legal route (backed up with the emails).

He's probably hoping you will either give up or accept a lower offer than you are entitled to for an easy life. The vast majority of people will accept the latter because they are lazy.

Keep going. You'll get there!

PoshMonkey · 28/09/2024 07:13

Also, don't just chase him as and when. Consistently follow up a day or so after he says he is back from holiday.

Make it clear by your actions that you are not going to give up and want this resolved. It sounds like there is a lot of money at stake so it is in your best interest to be a thorn in his backside!

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 28/09/2024 07:20

ANightingaleSang · 28/09/2024 06:09

@PoshMonkey Thanks for this. I really like the idea of starting a manual email trail. I currently just keep all the emails and refer back to them. I have been chasing him most weeks, so he is very used to seeing my name in his inbox. I'm probably like some annoying add pop up at the moment.

See, I would up the ante and email him every day. If it's every week he can brush you off like an annoying fly. If it's every day it starts to be a real pain.

Can you copy his manager in too?

Tiredofallthis101 · 28/09/2024 08:59

ANightingaleSang · 28/09/2024 05:29

I'm going to create a post on Mumsnet asking for advice on how others would handle this situation. I'm going to read all the very helpful and supportive comments. Then I will enjoy crafting a fucking astounding no-bullshit email to the Muppet in question (whilst simultaneously kicking myself for not doing it sooner) giving him (not asking for) a hard deadline before commencing legal action. Subsequently I will reflect on why I was so submissive. Do I really have such little self respect that I allow myself to be walked all over? I think not. Going forward I will make a conscious effort to be more assertive in my communications, even if that means stepping outside my comfort zone.

Show quote history

Good for you!

Also can you call him or visit him in person where he can't evade you, I've sometimes found doorstepping people like this is the only way forward.

muggletops · 30/09/2024 09:52

ANightingaleSang · 27/09/2024 18:44

@Magnoliafarm that sounds rough! I think it really depends on the type of work you do. I think it's good practice that if you are the only one who can progress something then loose ends should be tied up before leave, you should communicate with the other party to let them know you will be on leave etc.

in this case the individual seems to be going on leave every other week. I looked back over the email history and it has gone fro. Annual leave, to just 'leave' to I'll be 'away.' if they are away often for whatever reason, then really someone else should be given access to their inbox, or somebody else employed to do the job they are supposed to be doing. It doesn't help that Monday's, Tuesdays and Fridays are also write offs.

As others have said, I wouldn't be surprised if this is delay tactics. I would be very very surprised if he hasn't already read the last email I sent him. This isn't a little matter and should be quite high up on their list of priorities.

Im questioning now whether I have been too polite and submissive over the last year.

Can you add a read receipt to the email? sorry if someone has already suggested this. This could be evidence that he has read the email and ignored it, not just that he is away.

Original poster
ANightingaleSang · 30/09/2024 10:14

@muggletops excellent idea!

OP posts:
MissScarletInTheBallroom · 30/09/2024 10:19

muggletops · 30/09/2024 09:52

Can you add a read receipt to the email? sorry if someone has already suggested this. This could be evidence that he has read the email and ignored it, not just that he is away.

Show quote history

The person who is asked for a read receipt gets to choose whether they send you one or not and I always decline.

SpyOfHut6 · 30/09/2024 12:54

The issue has to be an organisational one rather than an individual one, for all you know he could work less than full time or have agreed adjustments with his employer to deal with something personal. None of that is your business, you just need to escalate it above this chap’s position.

Original poster
ANightingaleSang · 30/09/2024 13:28

@SpyOfHut6 Oh, no doubt there is an organisational issue. That does necessarily mean there is not an individual issue. Regardless of the reasons for his absences these should be communicated and/or if he cannot do his job, again not interested in the reasons why (as you say it's not my business), someone should be employed who can. I strongly suspect he is intentionally delaying the process OR I have simply fallen to the very bottom of his priority list

OP posts: