Horrible dread of children growing up and what they might go through

[Suddenfeelingofsadness]

Wonder if anyone can relate.
It feels to me as if my DC's were little for so long. I felt like they were dependent and time consuming and not sleeping for so long. I spent a lot of it in survival mode. Now they are 10 and 8 and it suddenly doesn't seem long until they're teenagers.
I've never been one of those nostalgic for toddlers and baby people. But I'm so aware of the horror of what's to come and the era they're growing up in.
My DD is already being bullied. She is autistic and likely to struggle in school forever. She is also beautiful and very trusting. Super vulnerable as she takes everyone at their word. I feel like she's going to be taken advantage of and I won't be there to stop it. I've tried social stories to help her but they don't seem to go in or they overwhelm her.

My son is so precious and kind right now but as a single mum and him being male I feel so scared of what's to come. My friend has just caught her 12 year old son wanking over some really disgusting porn (not your average) and I just couldn't cope with that. The thought of him being turned on by something abhorrent. I know there's filters and blockers you can get but it can still be found. Something about it just made me so sad, he is a child.
I just keep getting periods of despair about what they'll go through and selfishly what
I'll go through. It feels so bleak.

Live in the moment. The future hasn't arrived yet.
Why worry yourself.
Your causing unnecessary burden on your mind.

OP, you'd be best looking at a place with a great track record on SEN provision and dealing with bullying. It's not always easy to figure those things out.

I got a feeling after going to a few schools, I asked around online and in person. You can get a sense when you're at the schools walking round.

They will be used to this now and will be improving their methods of support for the huge numbers of SEN kids that go to mainstream.

I understand where you're coming from op, I'm a worrier too. On the other hand, she'll have you well into adulthood, her brother, and any other family you may have too. She'll also have the opportunity to meet other peers, but I understand just bc someone else is autistic doesn't necessarily mean they're a good match.

It’s tough, but you can really support them by being a calm steady presence and making home their haven.

My kids are 17 and 15 and (although not ND so hope this is relevant), Things that I notice help steady and refresh them are; making our ‘together space’ tidy so they enjoy being in that space; having family and friends over when we can. They seem to enjoy the ease of long standing friendships and people from a different generation and I think the consistency of those relationships. And also some family traditions, but not too many as that’s exhausting.

The other thing that has really helped one of mine is being in scouts. One of the benefits of that type of organisation is that you start as a youngster and then gradually become one of the bigs ones unlike school where you are always in the same cohort. It’s also given him a solid group of friends outside of school with, seemingly, less pressure to fit in.

i also drag mine out for a dog walk or something if I think they’ve been lurking around the house too long, but I appreciate that’s not always easy.

They might not be toddlers anymore but at 8 and 10 you still have influence and I think they can be lovely.

My DC are older than yours OP, in sixth form now but your fears are one of the reasons we decided to home educate our DC from the offset and I'm glad we did.

There was no growing up too fast in our household. In fact I think we got it about right with them. They were far from isolated from the world but they weren't over exposed like so many children are now. No phones until they were about 13/14 (they didn't want one) and no heavy peer pressure. Just easy going friendships with no pressure.

And before anyone asks, they're doing just fine in sixth form, in every respect.

Allll of this. My mother calls me catastrophizing about my one remaining sibling who hasn’t yet learned this lesson and I just 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

You are just a loving mother doing her best in a troubled world.