Aibu to just want a home for me and my dc!?

[chubbycake]

Looking for a rental property for me (38 year old woman) and two dc (3 and 6) I work full time self employed and we get a UC top up. Total income £32k. We come from rental properties with no black marks.

We are leaving because my soon to be ex husband is an abusive horrible man.

NO ONE will rent to us in our area. They say I have to earn at least 30x the annual rent (which would be on average 39k) They all make excuses to avoid being discriminatory but one of the lettings agents claimed a property was not suitable for children as it had stairs… 😩

Private landlords are pretty much non existent.

I’m really struggling. What do single parents do? I have offered a guarantor and I have money ready for a deposit too!

Can you look at 1 bed properties, DC share bedroom & have a sofa bed for you in sitting room? Not ideal but housed is better than homeless and if you can reduce the cost maybe you can get somewhere. Also - £1,300 @ month would cost you £15,600 a year out of your post tax income, on rent alone. That barely leaves after you take into account utilities, insurances, council tax, food, clothing, transport to work & school.

I have looked at 1 beds but most of them come with a maximum tenant number of 2.

I have a budget all worked out based on a rent of 1300 I would have £500 left every month after all bills and expenses so it's manageable.

I'm so sorry you're going through this OP - it really is hellish and I've experienced facing homelessness this year too. I'm lucky in that it's just me and my cat, and I absolutely would want someone like yourself with children to be prioritised by official bodies for housing. I'm also lucky that I had a friend who could help me with a deposit and first month's rent whi I approached as an absolute last resort when it became clear the council would rather see me actually homeless than housed with their help.

Mine's a long story of demise over 2.5 years after being suddenly widowed, so I won't bang on about it specifically but while I knew housing was a growing issue, like many situations until I was in the thick of it I didn't realise just how bad things are.

I have always thought that the system is so backwards when it comes to housing, especially when councils are involved. Stable living conditions give people the bedrock on which to build their lives. It seems utterly bonkers to me that some people and their families in financial difficulty already are pushed out of their homes into temporary sub standard accommodation that costs the council's far more money than either helping with the finances to stay where they are or putting them into somewhere decent to start with. The cynic in me suspects that there are dodgy connections between temporary accommodation providers and those who manage funding for them.

The whole process is so demoralising and dehumanising and I can only imagine how much worse it is for people with additional needs and vulnerabilities.

It costs more money to deal with the effects of homelessness and it makes me so angry when people think it's "entitled" to want secure housing in the communities they work in and where their children are educated. People are complaining all the time about "lack of resilience" across various demographics - I bet if you scratch the surface of why poor mental health is becoming endemic you'd find alot has rootlessness and insecurity due to precarious housing situations as a big part of the back story.

I really hope you find somewhere soon and that any agencies involved actually help you. Sending much love.

We stayed over our leave notice. Would husband brother let yous stay until yous find somewhere? If you prove you're looking elsewhere. 100% go to council and explain everything we even got extra points for the kids disability. We got the 1st house that became available

Very well said

I just wanted to say well done for getting out of the relationship OP.

I did find moving out of the city things were much easier housing wise, I know you don't want to do that. Really hope you find something soon.

Completely agree with you. It's such an important thing, rent reform was needed years ago and council housing has needed a long hard look at since Thatcher messed it all up.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I hope you are happy and settled now.

After work today I am going to call womens aid and see what their suggestions are.

@chubbycake would rather not say the specific area but its a city and the average is £1300 a month. wow that is high rent! I only charge 460 for 2 beds with double glazing, central heating, new kitchen and garden!! scotland!

Good luck OP. Just keep taking small steps in the right direction and things will fall into place eventually.

@allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld your low rent is more mind blowing to me than OP's! £1300 is pretty average around here too. It's grim.

OP my last tenant lied to the letting agent, stating she was single, no dependents. When I met her to give her the keys she actually had two children. Not a lot I could do to be honest! Could you do the same? X

@Cryingatthegym your low rent is more mind blowing to me than OP's! £1300 is pretty average around here too. It's grim. I have never believed in overcharging the rents. why make it difficult for the tenant to save for their own flat. I charge around the same as the councils and my flats are in better condition with any repairs required being done within 24-48 hours. i also do not take deposits. my tenants tend to stay for a good long while. people actually want a flat rental from me rather than anyone else.

@Cryingatthegym How is it “upsetting to think about ending up in a council house” when millions would love the chance and are currently on neverending waiting lists?

Different situation but we were made homeless because our landlord wanted to sell. We couldn't afford private rent, with the conditions they insisted on.
Had to go HA route. They dragged their heels helping until I started phoning every day to ask if any of our bids had been successful. We also couldn't do hostels or B&B due to having two children with additional needs.
Two weeks before we got kicked out we were successful on binding for a house.
I know you aren't keen to go down that route but it may at least give you somewhere to live while you look for something else.
Also as your partner is abusive I am sure you will be a higher priority.
Other than that try Facebook and ask friends or family if they know of possible properties.

Have you tried sites like Nextdoor? I have seen sometimes, people making a personal connection with someone on there who has a house / flat to rent..

Sorry, I didn't mean to come across as insensitive or judgemental. I meant the worry and upheaval of moving to a different, unknown and unchosen by me area, and the drastic change in living standards that have suddenly been thrust upon me. Of course social housing is a wonderful thing and I'd be lucky to be offered a property.

@Cryingatthegym Yes there should be more social housing. The private rents are ridiculous because landlords are exploiting the housing shortage. Millions of people are bidding for secure tenancies every month. It’s very sad x

Council homelessness service/housing options and make an application for social housing.
You're in priority need and if you have the means to private rent if they help you find somewhere.
You should also end up in a higher need band if you are homeless and that will really help you get social housing too.
Bid on housing association properties as well as the rents are usually a bit higher so less people bid on them.

And as you have a housing application in already that waiting time will also help.

Some things that people don't know about the way councils deal with people seeking help due to imminent homelessness is that part of the process is demanding contact details for relatives so they can ask them to house you. Given that for many people asking for help from the authorities is a last resort when all other options have been exhausted, I found this most unhelpful.

Women's aid can find you a hostel place

It may be further away though. But that's a roof at least

Have a look on Open Rent, its a site with Private landlords, Hope all works out for you c

Having worked in tenant vetting, the industry standard maximum for rent is that you need to have a gross annual income of 30x monthly rent. The only way out of that is a guarantor (usually they need to earn 36->42x the monthly rent) or paying upfront. If you don’t meet these criteria the landlord generally won’t be eligible for rent protection insurance on your tenancy so they are exposing themselves to a lot more risk.

(not defending the situation just giving additional context for why you’re coming up against this limit)

I can easily understand why it could be upsetting to have to move into council housing.
I currently live in a relatively nice three bedroom home of my choosing in an area that I like.
If I was to split with my husband and I had to move into the council housing my area has to offer I would be devastated. Plenty of regular antisocial behaviour, unkempt houses that are not looked after, huge drink/drug problems, teens out in big groups until all hours of the night, regular visits from the police with sirens blaring at all times of the night....I wouldn't choose to live there, I don't think many people would!
I think social housing is made out to be some kind of utopia on mn, a few people have struck lucky and got a quaint little home in a nice village or a huge flat in an expensive city centre but most social housing is on sprawling estates with massive problems with antisocial behaviour and drug issues.
I don't think it is fair to jump on someone for being upset with what potentially will be a big lifestyle change.

@DriedFlowersLiveForever I didn’t jump on anyone. I was wondering why millions of people were on lists waiting to be upset about being offered a secure home for life. You’ve trotted out the old council house/estate clichè which is misinformed and outdated