Child Maintenance Ending

[Clareretro1964]

My partner has a daughter from his previous marriage who is currently 17, turning 18 next year. Very long and complicated story short but I’ve been contributing to her child maintenance payments which I’ve been happy to do. I also pay her phone bill to help out as her mum is single parenting most of the time and also on a lesser salary.

We were planning to continue to help support her when she turned 18 but recently I had to leave a role (was being lined up for redundancy) and found a role that was good for my future development but involved a very big pay cut. It’s been tough taking the cut and we’re now in the position where I don’t think it’s realistic to carry on helping her once we’re due to stop child support. I feel awful but we really need the money back to keep us going.

Ive spoken with my partner about it and he agrees although feels the same. I want him
to broach it with his ex so that it’s not something that becomes an issue. I don’t know if she’s assuming we will continue but want to be upfront. Am I being unreasonable?

Why are you paying it and not him? CM amount is based on what he earns not the household income anyway

Does your partner work?

It’s pretty rubbish not to finish the school year if your step daughter is in education. So pay until July/august.

I don’t really understand this.

When a child becomes an adult, the idea is to support them directly, not just cut them off (unless they are already earning and can support themselves).

How do you expect the daughter to manage without any help. It is unfair if you think her mother should take 100 % of the burden.

What's the daughters situation going to be at 18?
Is she going to uni? Does she have a job lined up. Will she still live with her mum etc
Also depends how much your finances are changing? And how affordable your expenses are. If you were going to cut contributing to her before cutting optional extras or whether you are going yo be on the breadline yourselves.

Is his daughter going to be in education still after 18? If so then CMS won’t stop at 18.

If you haven’t previously discussed it continuing after it doesn’t “have” to then I’d assume she will be expecting it to stop at that point. If you’d made promises about continuing past the necessary though I’d be bringing that up asap.

It's not your place and is 100% your boyfriends responsibility to pay for his kid. He can figure out how to do this.
He needs to reimburse you, there is no scenario complicated or not that would require a girlfriend to fund a man's child.

Can there be a compromise? So the support changes rather than stops completely. For example, I’m prepared to pay my daughters phone bill after she turns 18 and goes to university and get her food shop delivered say monthly. But I won’t be able to pay all her expenses and keep up with all the bills and expenses at home on my income. I expect her to get a job to pay her way/nurture independence.

As an aside, just because you’re taking a pay cut at work doesn’t mean her dad should stop paying child support. He definitely should until she leaves full time education. And keep supporting her somehow if she goes onto further education/until she finds a stable full time job after finishing school. Whichever she’s decided to do.

Your partner is a stay at home dad to two school aged children.

he bought our house and is on the deeds but I provide all the household income

I suggest your partner gets a job and finds a way to continue paying maintenance and the phone bill for his daughter.

Oh wow, just saw your other thread. You need to find secure housing for yourself and your kids, this awful man could boot you out of his property any day and you've chosen to have no legal protections.

Date him if you feel the need to, but from a house of your own.

If you sd is in education then dad owes child support until 31 August 2025. He should look into ways of earning more so that child support isn’t affected.

Exdh never paid a penny for DS after he turned 18. Not even a £10 voucher for university.

DS resents it as exh is a high earner and has many many holidays. They haven't spoken for two years now. By all means reduce money but your H should still try and support her if she is in higher education.

...and the next thing will be you getting messages from her lawyer. Your work situation has nothing to do as it is you partner who is obliged to pay and paid and will pay as his financial situation has not changed. She is in education, he has not changed jobs- he will pay

Reduce and explain to Childcare agency and the court that nothing has changed in dad's salary and doesn't want to pay as he did. They don't care if OP was contributing to it. It is the father who paid.

You don’t say whether she’s working or still in education. She needs financial support as long as she is still in education. If her Mum still has to provide the roof over her head and she’s not paying rent, then her father should still be paying maintenance.

I suppose if she's going to be in a position to 100% fully fund her life and accommodation herself when she turns 18 then there is nothing more (financially) to be done.

Except maybe congratulate her parents for raising someone advanced enough to be able to stand in her own two feet at such a young age?

Of course, if she is still in education or not yet in a financial position to pay for herself, that's another matter....

You shouldn't be paying it anyway! I'm assuming he's unable to work so the contribution should be based on any benefits he gets. You've been taken for a mug

I'm assuming he is unable to work. Accidents and health things happen