To think boys are generally frowned upon?

[oneboyallgirls]

I am anticipating a flurry of ‘yabus’ but hear me out.

I have a boy who is now age 3 and a half. When I was having him, I did an antenatal course with a group of other women and coincidentally they all had girls.

There’s been a bit of a divide there from the start in ways that are really hard to explain but as they’ve got older we’ve found ourselves more and more on the periphery of the group partly because of the kids’ interests but also because there’s this general sort of disapproval expressed towards DS. It’s like they just don’t like boys much.

I know most people won’t know what I am talking about but I wonder if anyone else with the sole boy in a group of girls can relate.

Over 50% of the population are male. I don’t think they’re frowned upon at all - in fact, I’d say society is largely geared towards them.

It sounds like perhaps they bonded deeper, for whatever reason, and you just weren’t as close with the group. Maybe it is because you had a boy and they had girls - but that isn’t him being ‘frowned upon’!

I think teen boys are- I have 4 boys and stood in a group when they were younger and everyone was gushing over them but a group of not that dodgy looking boys walked by and people started saying they hoped they wouldn’t be hanging around the estate, damn teens etc. I said ‘sure these lot will look like them one day!’ And everyone went quiet😅

The population would be a bit stuffed without them.

I am biased. I have boys. They are gorgeously good company and so funny.

Well what is his behaviour like?
If he goes around clobbering the other children then they are frowning upon him because he is hurting other children and you are setting no boundaries for him... Sometimes parents of boys have a "boys will be boys" attitude and fail to parent their child properly because they happen to be male. There is no physiological difference between girls and boys age 3 apart from their genitals, so have you socially conditioned him differently? Likewise have they done the same with their daughters?

Keep perspective

https://www.bbc.co.uk/ethics/abortion/medical/infanticide_1.shtml

Other than genital what differences are there between your boy and these girls? I’m pretty sure your boy does not represent them all.

Agreed, teen boys are often assumed to be likely trouble when they may in fact be nothing of the sort.

I think that if you’d had a girl while the others had boys then you would still ended up an outsider because it sounds like these woman wanted friends with same sex babies.

That depends - do you react with "boys will be boys" if he's rough, and therefore they avoid you? I knew a couple of parents of boys who were like that and we avoided them like the plague.

Or is he pretty much the same as the other children but they happen to be female?

It's basically socialisation at this point, so as long as you're not allowing him to play havoc among them while telling yourself that's just how boys are, I can't see any reason to segregate by sex.

My sons had at least as many female friends as male when they were little. It was only the... umm... let's say rambuctious ones we avoided. And that was because mine didn't like their stuff being broken or being hit (who does?)

I have a 14 year old son and have never experienced any sort of negativity about the fact.

Honestly, from what you’ve put, I think you’re reaching here. You have one example, of a group where your kids have different interests. You’ve read in to that it’s because your DC is a boy, then you’ve extrapolated that to the population as a whole!

Im not saying some people aren’t anti boy, they absolutely are. Once a woman in a kids shop was chatting to me and when I corrected her that my child was male not female she got really weird and followed us around making sure he didn’t touch anything.

But other people put little boys on a pedestal, they can do no wrong, “boys will be boys” and the misogyny that goes with that!

If you honestly think this group is pushing you out because you have a boy, fuck them, find new friends!

I think some people project their feelings about men on to boys. Their feelings about the bad things that some men do are obviously valid and right, but I think to have no patience for boys at all just because they happen to be male and to over analyse everything they do is a bit batshit.