Dating - guy just said am in early stages of meeting people

[Elizo]

So, dipping my toe back in online dating after a very long break. Chatting to guy seems really nice. He asked me how I found online dating - I said getting back into it, is ok. You? He said am in early stages of chatting to people - will let you know if anything develops. I mean everyone is chatting to/ meeting people so of course, but to say it just feels a bit grim. I think he is new to dating and wanted to be open. I always think of a real life scenario. Meet someone in a bar, have a great chat, person says - I was chatting to someone last night, will let you know how it goes…

AIBU to find this off putting..

Yanbu. I would think he's just not interested in me. You're not there for penpals.

So long as you aren't shagging around surely it's fine to meet a few people in the early stages.

Of it is fine to do it, it just feels very unromantic to say it

I think the shift in attitudes to dating in the past, say, 5 years or so, are a reflection of the further disintegration of morals and basic respect and courtesy for other people. There is another thread this afternoon all to do with whether some guy will be getting with others whilst she is abroad for a period and all this exclusivity crap which didn't even exist 10 years ago. But like mould it has spread and it now appears to be the default that people can't expect basic decency. It all sits alongside the other crap like playing your music on loudspeaker on the bus, leaving your Lime bike in the middle of the pavement, "influencers" being gods and goddesses etc etc.

Sounds like he’s clumsily saying he’s not just chatting to you, but it doesn’t need to be said.

Why is he saying he will let you know if it develops? Develops with who, you or another member?

Better that he’s honest than stringing you along, or giving you the same flattering guff he’s giving four other women. But if it puts you off, it’s your prerogative to walk away. I don’t blame you, I’d find it a bit transactional as well.

I think it means if something develops with someone else. Say less!

Sounds like he's talking about photography with the developing.
It would really annoy me. Wouldn't be wasting my time with him.

Why would you care if something develops between him and someone else?! Weirdo (him).

I think you’re right to get the ick.

By “chatting” I presume you mean you haven’t even met yet? Put all notions of “romantic” out of your head. You’re strangers. You’re working out whether you have enough in common and think the other looks attractive enough to be interested in meeting to see if it translates to real life. Don’t treat OLD interactions as anything more than that: getting caught up in emotions at this stage or ideas that it should involve anything beyond two people who’ve identified they like the look and sound of each other is how you get hurt.

There's absolutely no point in being coy or putting on pretensions about what you’re doing. And enough people get upset about how they’ve been ghosted by somebody they were messaging with that somebody being upfront about their approach and intentions is a lot healthier than the alternative.

Bang on. Unless a couple have been on a few proper dates and indicated to each other they want to be exclusive to each other, then there is nothing wrong with chatting to other people.