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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think the nurse practicioner should back off

18 replies

chubbybuthappy · 21/04/2008 17:24

im hurt and angry, i went to the nurse practicioner today as there were no doctors appts left. Im in incrediable pain from a frozen shoulder. While i was there she started going on about my weight, now im not denying that im over weight, prob about 2 stone. But she was going on and on about it, how i need to get that 2 stone off, how she has lost weight herself and knows how hard it is. She recommened i went to a slimming group. I said i didnt really have time, i have a young dd, i work and my husband is only home at the weekends. I have no time, no family to help out, and im not paying for childcare to go and get weighed. She said that was just an excuse and i could take my child with me to an evening meeting. My dd is 2, i get home from work, have tea, bath then bed I am not taking my little girl out to a slimmers meeting when she should be in bed fgs!
I was upset, now am angry, i did not go to see her about my weight, i know i could do with loosing some, and will do so when i want to. I do not need to be told how to eat either, nor do i want to pay £4.80 for the priviliage when i am skint enough as it is.
So AIBU to think she should have kept her mouth shut?

OP posts:

wb · 21/04/2008 17:31

Well, as a health professional I don't think it was wrong of her to broach the subject with you (in a professional, non-judgmental manner) but having done so she should have let it drop immediately when it became clear you weren't interested.

Taking a 2 year old to an evening slimming meeting - not surprised you didn't fancy that tbh.

YANBU to object to her badgering you about your weight.

bran · 21/04/2008 17:32

Did she do anything for your frozen shoulder?

I have to say that I usually come over all Joyce Grenfell and say something like "That's absolutely fascinating I'm sure, but could we focus on the problem in hand as I'm sure your time is valuable".

Some people get very evangelical, slimmers, people who've given up smoking, those who have taken up a new sport/interest. It's dull, and unfortunate that you caught her like that. You can get your revenge in a year or so by asking how the slimming group is going, as she is bound to have put the weight on again by then.

SheikYerbouti · 21/04/2008 17:33

You should also tell her that most people who go to slimming groups fail at losing weight and keeping it off.

StarlightMcKenzie · 21/04/2008 17:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bubblagirl · 21/04/2008 17:36

dont take it too personally she shouldnt go on but it is her job to advise and try to get people to do things as you know in the media weight increases blah blah blah

as a health proffessional she is just doing her job if it has made you feel you would like to do something but cant most gyms do creche in afternoons if you had one spare that is

if not live and let live as long as you are healthy then it doesnt matter what size you are

but dont keep playing it over in your mind she wasnt picking on you just giving you some advise you dont need, so ignore it and go about as normal

i do most my exercises at home but im a sucker for crisps so starting again tomorrow as bought lovely pack today he he

StarlightMcKenzie · 21/04/2008 17:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PortAndLemon · 21/04/2008 17:39

You could tell your DD's HV that the NP told you to keep her up late so that you could take her to an evening meeting, and see how that goes down in a cat-among-the-pigeons way...

Original poster

chubbybuthappy · 21/04/2008 18:03

i would like to go the the gym, but i work everyday from lunchtime till 5pm. In the morning, i have to do all the housework, shopping, walk the dog and try to spend some time with dd.
I get home at about 5.50, then its a quick tea, bath at 6.50 then bed at about 7.30.
I then clear up the tea things, tidy up and get things ready for the next day. I also tend to do half an hour exercise 3x a week ( not that it seems to be doing anything!) Ive not got anyone who can babysit either.
She told me its hard, but you have to fit these things in... surely it would be better for my health to spend the time exercising rather than going to a group to talk about it.
She said its hard when your 17 or 18 stone. i almost chocked then told her i was 11 stone 9lbs,( and i know as i got weighted at boots today) so no way near that.

OP posts:

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 21/04/2008 18:07

Part of her job is general health promotion and at the end of the day she's trying to help you. Its no skin of her nose if you don't lose the weight.

Sounds like she's not very good at picking up on cues to drop the subject though.

brimfull · 21/04/2008 18:11

She sounds like an over zealous recently lost a bucket of weight bore.

I know I've been that bore

BetteNoire · 21/04/2008 18:13

Perhaps she's on commission from SW or WW.

Sidge · 21/04/2008 18:22

She was just doing her job.

But she was doing it in a rather overzealous and tactless manner!!

It would have been slack if she hadn't mentioned your weight (as being overweight can make joint problems worse) but she should have known when to stop.

HonoriaGlossop · 21/04/2008 19:11

my practice nurse offered to weigh me weekly! I told her I was going to WW when I had my booking in visit when we moved; and she said "oh, you don't want to pay to be weighed! Come here and I'll do it for nothing"

Maybe you could suggest that to your nurse, chubby - practical support would be better than being lectured, wouldn't it!

minster · 21/04/2008 20:47

Was she at all interested in the complaint (frozen shoulder) that led you to seek medical care?

GP's get funding for the number of times they tick the health promotion box - smoking cessation, weight control etc - so much for individualised health care. You're just another box to be ticked

mum2sons · 21/04/2008 20:59

YANBU

Blimey, 11stone 9lbs, that is a lovely weight to be.

If I walked in, she would probably have me admitted for a gastric band!

Silly woman, ignor her. I hope you got your shoulder sorted out.

amicissima · 21/04/2008 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bran · 21/04/2008 21:28

It's probably not that helpful if you're skint, but I suffered with a frozen shoulder on and off for years and the thing that has made the biggest improvement has been a Flexi-bar. I use it for about 15 mins in the evening whenever my shoulder starts to stiffen or ache and it loosens it right up.

There were times when I used to dread going out because any kind of minor jolt used to give white-hot pain. Even reaching for something on a supermarket shelf could lead to agony.

Kitti · 22/04/2008 11:57

Have a cup of tea and relax. She's not in your face anymore although can understand why you're upset. Hope the shoulder gets better soon. If you're concerned about your weight (and only you as it's your opinion that matters) then try weight watchers on-line. My hubby tried it (wouldn't go to a class and he works later anyway) and he's lost about 2 stone in about 8 months - it's not great but I like my pizza and chinese meals so I'm not helping him much!!!! At least if you looked into it then next time someone gave you stick you can tell them you do it on-line and finding it very helpful!!!!

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