To move or not move

[Tornone]

We were due to move in July but it all fell through, things look to be getting back on track now but I'm unsure if we should move.

We are relocating to the city I grew up in mainly to be closer to my DM for family support. I am currently pregnant.

The main cons for moving are my DS has settled in a wondeful primary school and the cost difference is big(bigger morgatge and possibly private school for DS1). We also have nice friends where we currently live. I am worried about having a baby, moving house, schools and a new area all at once and how it will effect him.

The cons for staying are secondary schools aren't as good, obviously less help and possibly when the children grow up there is more in a city for them.

I should add my DH family are about 30mins from where we are now but don't help.

My question is AIBU to move?

Can you afford the bigger mortgage? Is it better to stay put and save money for private schooling (especially if that's what you would be doing anyway if you move)? Have you discussed with your mum what help would look like in terms of hours per week? It might not be as helpful as you think. I'd move for a really good state secondary, but wouldn't otherwise.

We can afford it, but it will make things a lot tighter, not can't live or go on holiday etc. Just tighter. I would say we would go from being comfortable/not worrying to having to be a bit more careful especially around birthdays/ Christmas etc . Although we are both due pay rises, but we can't count on that.

Yes my DM is desperate for us to move and I do have other family close by and my DF is about half an hour. I have tried to gently ask my DM about moving close to us but she doesn't want to. I feel moving just for my DM is a massive risk.

I think I am swaying to staying but worried about regretting it in the long run. The secondary is not awful here, just the ones where we would move to are excellent (assuming they got in, but giving house location I am pretty sure they would)

Personally I wouldn't move for one person unless it's a move you'd make anyway and they are a bonus

Hello @Tornone can I ask what you decided to do? I’ve just put a post on here about something similar - we did the move and I’m really regretting it.

Hi , we moved in December (baby arriver prem 9 days later so was a rough start ).

It's all fairly new but I'd say the last few weeks I've only just stopped crying about it. I'm missing my DS school and I'm missing our friends with children my DS age so feeling very guilty.

I'm not sure if we've done the right thing , but im trying to give it a bit more time . It's rough x

Hi @Tornone thank you for coming back.
sounds like we are in very similar situations, we moved in December as well, I’m still upset about it everyday and really missing my DD’s school and my mum friends, despite being closer to my family.
I just don’t feel like myself here and keep wishing we were back home.
How is your DS getting on at the new school?
That with a new baby is really hard (I have a 2 year old DD as well)

I don’t wish these feelings on anyone but it’s also comforting to know I’m not the only one if that makes sense x