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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this legal?

51 replies

Cartwrightandson · 26/09/2024 13:38

A woman has 3 daughters with her husband, they split up and she remarries, she then splits up from her second husband and immediately moves in with a male friend and they begin a relationship. The male friend has a son and she has moved all 3 daughters into the home..all children are 6/7-12/13 at this point. When the middle daughter is 17, she has sex with the son who is 19/20 and falls pregnant. Child is born when middle daughter is 18.

At this point they've been all living together as a family for several years and the daughters view male friend as father figure/step dad.

OP posts:
HauntedbyMagpies · 26/09/2024 18:53

It's all a bit Jeremy Kyle

DadJoke · 26/09/2024 18:54

Not illegal, but gives me the ick a bit.

BobbyBiscuits · 26/09/2024 19:02

They aren't blood relatives so it's not illegal. You can even legally marry your first cousin so laws on that aren't very strict at the best of times.
It sounds pretty messy. It depends a lot on if there's enough space, and if everyone gets along ok. Presuming the girl fully consented to sex and wanted to keep the baby, and the boy is a decent father.
There are plenty of pretty complex blended families who all live together in multi generations and it works out fine. But I'd imagine there could be conflict at times.
So I couldn't say whether it's nice or decent to be in that family dynamic, but nor could I say it is illegal or horribly wrong. It is what it is.

jolies1 · 26/09/2024 19:48

A risk of moving unrelated teenagers into the same house TBH.

They’ve not been raised as siblings they have been moved into the same house as teenagers when they know perfectly well who their parents and actual siblings are. Always think it’s naive on the part of adults who decide because they want to live together their kids should automatically feel like family.

MattSmithsBowTie · 26/09/2024 20:03

I think you can’t marry someone who you’ve lived with “as siblings” but I don’t think there’s anything saying you can’t have a bunk up with them.

IsItAboutMyCube · 26/09/2024 20:11

Apart from mother being young and technically they are living together, I don't see an issue

bringslight · 26/09/2024 20:23

where do you think the daughter saw this behaviour?!

Didimum · 26/09/2024 20:25

Not illegal. Not immoral either. Not anyone’s business but their’s.

AmICrazyToEvenBother · 26/09/2024 20:27

Legal, but fucked up.

Neodymium · 26/09/2024 20:54

where I live (in Australia) incest laws also relate to foster children. So it’s not just a matter of biology.

MakeItRain26 · 26/09/2024 21:03

It’s not illegal…but it is icky!

MakeItRain26 · 26/09/2024 21:04

@Didimum so you think this is a totally regular situation?

meganorks · 26/09/2024 21:07

I'm sure it's not that unusual to be honest. If you move some teenagers in together, with all those hormones flying around, I'm sure this happens a fair bit. Sounds like there was only a couple of years age difference.
If they were younger kids when they were brought up as siblings, that would be weirder.

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 26/09/2024 21:09

Not illegal, you can marry your biological cousin! Not nice though, these young people have grown up with a sibling relationship from the age of 12/14 - 17/19 that's five years of a sibling type relationship being co-parented.
It's not unknown though

WeeOrcadian · 26/09/2024 21:36

Who are you in this scenario and why would you think it's illegal?

Didimum · 26/09/2024 22:23

MakeItRain26 · 26/09/2024 21:04

@Didimum so you think this is a totally regular situation?

Not legal and not immoral doesn’t equate to ‘regular’ – by which I assume you mean ‘common’. They are not interchangeable terms. I’m not into moral absolutism.

KendraTheVampyrSlayer · 26/09/2024 22:49

Sounds like the plot of a Virginia Andrews novel.

CrumpledBankNote · 27/09/2024 07:08

So hang on - her stepdad is also her father in law?

Grammarnut · 27/09/2024 14:50

In the UK this might be illegal if the couple were married and therefore the children were step-siblings (before anyone tells me, the consanguinity tables do not include step-siblings, they also do not include half-siblings, but such a marriage would be unlawful although not listed, so it's unclear about step-relationship. A man may not marry his stepdaughter, however). Otherwise, it's not illegal, but a moral and parenting issue. What was going on in the household?

pinkleopardess · 27/09/2024 14:52

Very dysfunctional.

8misskitty8 · 27/09/2024 15:00

How old were the actual 2 adult children when they started living together in the same house ? And was it full time living together or was the boys mum the resident parent.

Does the daughter call her partners dad, dad as well ?

Not illegal as they aren’t siblings, but doesn’t feel right.

isthesolution · 27/09/2024 16:17

Because mother does not marry 'male friend' they are not related. If mother married 'male friend' then they are step siblings and must declare this if they decide to marry. There are rules around marriage in this scenario but not around having children/a relationship.

Tophelleborine · 27/09/2024 18:12

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 26/09/2024 21:09

Not illegal, you can marry your biological cousin! Not nice though, these young people have grown up with a sibling relationship from the age of 12/14 - 17/19 that's five years of a sibling type relationship being co-parented.
It's not unknown though

It's not a sibling relationship though, is it. The adults in their lives decided to move them all in together as teenagers, that doesn't in any way make them siblings however much their parents wanted them to all be one big happy family.

dixkybow · 27/09/2024 18:33

It's not a sibling relationship though, is it. The adults in their lives decided to move them all in together as teenagers,

Some of them were as young as 6

Tophelleborine · 27/09/2024 18:48

dixkybow · 27/09/2024 18:33

It's not a sibling relationship though, is it. The adults in their lives decided to move them all in together as teenagers,

Some of them were as young as 6

Not the ones being discussed...