To think I should have done banking or medicine like my dad suggesyed?

[malificent7]

Dad tried to get me to go into banking but aged 16 I was just not intetested ...he used to try to teach me Maths but I prefered arty subjects and found it dull. He even helped organise work experience for me in a branchbof deutsche bank but I found ot oh so dull.
Both parents tried to get me to do medicine as it is a good, well paid career but again...i wasn't interested as they kept banging on and didnt want to spend years at uni.
Age 46 ...I have no art career, my career as an English teacher flopped and im a fully qualifiedAHP but it is shit pay.
Dd wants to be in finance and I am so please that she is doing the sensible thing.
I do quite like my job sometimes, often dislike it. Shit pay for lots of responsibility. Most people dont apprechiate our help anyway.
Aibu to think that money is the most important consideration in work and that banking would have been the most sensible way to get it? Helping people jobs dont get us anywhere financially.
Fully expect to be flamed nut I wish I could flame my young self for not being more sensible.

I hear you. I'm 48 and I'm a similar position.

I don't think spending a lifetime in a role which is a long way removed from your own nature and inclinations is quite the solution either though. Sounds miserable.

I think the best life you can have is to have:
Some degree of control over your working day doing tasks that your nature lends itself to.

Enough money to pay your bills (more is better, but at least not be failing to make ends meet)

Colleagues who are decent humans even if you're different people

Work that you find rewarding or interesting in some way.

Looking back on my work choices, I can see that I made the best decisions I could with the information I had available at the time, and though I don't think I've found the sweet spot of something I enjoy that pays very well, I have had an interesting time in various ways, have quite an average life (but so do most people - clue in the name 😁). I've never struggled to find work, so financially I have my head above water but I'll never be rich.

Things I wish could have been different...
I had zero guidance from my parents, they were utterly clueless and we were in poverty as I grew up, so uni represented 'very scary debt' (bearing in mind money troubles -like not enough to eat make you risk averse) and I had no idea what doors it might open.

I thought I was much less able than other people (I was a neglected child, so self esteem crap) so didn't realise until much later that being well paid was an option for me... Turns out I'm no less capable than anyone else.

I am wistful about my wasted potential, but try to accept that my life has not been a waste in other ways, use my experiences to help my kids understand better than I did and try to make the most of where I am now.

I have some friends who are very well paid, they don't have charmed lives and there are positive things about my life they don't have and vice versa... So in the end your have to try not to let regret spoil your outlook and keep your life about being secure, who you share it with and remember you are more than your job.

I have realised that if you are going to work bloody hard ( as I do in my AHP role) I may as well get paid loads for it.
Gutted that my nature wadn't more ruthless and shrewd as a young lady.

Its not even about the job...it really is about the £££
Especially in this day and age.

I know what you mean
I’m sad for dd that they have to narrow down their subjects so early.
she is good at maths and stem subjects too but enjoys humanities much more so that’s what she’s doing at a level (1 science, English and history) and is thinking of a history type degree.

Im worried that she’s bright and capable but isn’t going to have much earning power and don’t want her to regret it

You wouldn’t have been happy though. You had the opportunity but it sounds like you were adamant against it so no point in dwelling on it now.

You might have spent every day at work bored and miserable anyway.

DH and I have both had long, successful and yes, well paid, careers in banking. What I will say is that whilst the money is good, on the downside, you live under the permanent threat of redundancy (we've had 3 between us). It's cut throat, if you miss your targets one year, you get fired. Banks are constantly reshuffling and there are always redundancies, the big American banks go through a process annually where they get rid of the bottom 10% of performers.

The hours can be very long, 7am-7pm is fairly standard and if you have a big deal on, it will be more like 6am-midnight. You'll be expected to cancel plans (including holidays) if you're needed at work. It's can be very dull - constant PowerPoints and spreadsheets. As a Junior, you'll spend days making sure the font of your presentations is in the correct corporate format/size/colour and Seniors will decide once you've submitted a weeks worth of work, they don't like it/they've changed their mind and you'll need to start all over again.

I don't regret my career choice, I knew it would be like this, but I'm not encouraging my DC into banking!

Unless you got top grades at school and were excellent at maths, you would never have got into medical school anyway, so don't feel like you missed an opportunity there.

Same with investment banking, they look for the exceptionally bright, gifted graduates. If you're more arty, chances are you wouldn't have made it anyway.

If you are interested in getting into finance, though, you could always try for an apprenticeship - granted, you likely won't be earning 6 figures, but if you're bright, motivated and articulate you could do pretty well eventually.

You would have failed. It's hard getting a degree in a subject you have no interest in.

For many jobs, the nature of the degree is less important than the fact that you have it. And you're more likely to get a degree in something that fills you with passion.

Once you're ready to start work, it's important to be independent. It's not necessary to be in the top 5% of earners, and it won't necessarily make you happy. So it makes sense to see which of your interests have the potential to pay a living wage, and which are best kept as a hobby.

I got a 1st in my degree ( stem ahp) but im still on a shit wage.
There was a fair bit of physics in my degree so i reckon im ok at Maths. Just need to channel my career a bit.

Yes if I could go back and do it all over again I would. I will definitely be guiding DD towards a good paying career when the time comes .

Totally agree

I wished my parents had sent me to a different school and pushed me more

This is like my husband's job. He is able to support us financially but our daughter doesn't see him monday to friday, maybe the odd 10 mins before bed if he gets in earlier. Also I've given up work to be SAHM because his job is so inflexible.
I was the opposite and had loads of jobs in customer service. I did work in a office for 3 years and found it soul destroying.

Yanbu. I wanted to be a carer growing up and dad explained that it's a lot of work and emotional toil for not much money.

I went corporate and the worst night can say about my joints that sometimes it's hard or boring. Buts it's clean and conformable and pays well so here I am.