About DS toe injury at childcare?

[worrying48923]

DS goes to childminder and she's brilliant. She is so supportive and accommodating and her family adore my son and vice versa. She goes above and beyond.

Yesterday after pickup DS told me he dropped something (a brick/rock he said? He's only 3) on his shoed-toe and he cried whilst he was there. However she didn't mention this at all to me. When I took off his sock at home later I was a bit shocked to see his big toe has a big purple bruise under the nail. I don't think it'll come off, but it's quite a sizeable bruise/bleed. It will take months to heal.

AIBU to feel a little funny how she didn't mention this to me, or file an accident report with me? He said he cried but she didn't tend to him/give him a hug. Tbh my son cries a lot and we are used to it. I'm guessing she was busy with some other children.

I don't want to bring it up to her because again she really has been fantastic. At the same time I'm a bit conflicted since it's a proper injury.

She has brought up bumps or scrapes that have occurred whilst he's been there in the past. I'm thinking she really just didn't realise what had happened and he moved on quickly. Should I bring this incident up to her, how would I go about it?

I would also she didn't realise, if he just cried but didn't say why and he's also a child who cries a lot as you say, it's quite possible she didn't know why. She probably just gave reassuring words and distracted him if she didn't know she was looking for an injury. I'd raise it in an exchange of information type of way rather than accusatory way.

I'd imagine she just didn't realise he'd hurt himself as it was under a sock and shoe. I'd just mention it on drop-off just in a 'Just so you know why he has a purple toe' way, but otherwise I think these things just happen sometimes.

It's not a proper injury, though. It's just a bruised toe. I had a big old bruise on my toe after dropping Henry the hoover on it at the age of 5. It's nothing.
I also wouldn't necessarily take it as a gospel that she didn't hug him when he was crying. On the other hand, your son cries a lot and it is quite possible that she didn't realise what happened because she is used to him crying.
By all means speak to her if you want but I wouldn't make a big deal out of what is a normal childhood event.

He probably didn't cry any more than usual or tell her and therefore she had absolutely no idea he'd injured his foot.

It's more worrying that you're feeling funny and your first thought is she is trying to hide it to be honest. That's an odd reaction.

@Procrastinates I didn't assume she was trying to hide it ... I said I think she wasn't aware but not sure if there's any point bringing it up to her since there's not much she can do now

@Catza okay good to know thanks. I've never had a bloody nail so I wasn't sure 😅

Apologies but this really seemed like you were implying that she knew and deliberately didn't tell you otherwise why would you feel funny about it?

AIBU to feel a little funny how she didn't mention this to me, or file an accident report with me?

If you don't think she knew why would you do anything? Realistically it's just as likely he hurt his foot at home before going to the childminder and you didn't notice.

I wouldn’t say it’s ‘nothing’

I recently banged my foot on a round metal pillar. It was just a glancing blow but it hurt badly for weeks, I had it x rayed to check for broken bones.

My friend dropped something on her toe and has permanently damaged her toes.

Based on my own experience I think your DS would have cried a lot because injuries to the foot hurt so much.

I would raise it with the CM and say you’re taking DS to the doctor and just wanted to check with her what fell on his foot.

That’s not making it a big deal, it’s just being a parent.

Of course you tell her! But in a none accusatory way and assuming, because it’s almost certainly what happened, that he didn’t tell her he was hurt. That way you and the childminder can both have a chat with him about using his words, telling an adult when he’s hurt and how the crying doesn’t help anyone know what’s wrong.

She probably hasn’t realised he has hurt his toe and thought he was just dying, I’d mention it to her the next day he is there,

been there and done it as a mum and also as an early years worker, unless a child specifies where they have hurt I’m not going to search their full body.

@InTheRainOnATrain @Tulip8 @doodleschnoodle Thanks for these points. Okay yes I think I will tell her. I was slightly concerned to hear there are heavy bricks/rocks lying around in the garden ... if a younger child were to pick it up they could have a significantly worse injury. Lord knows I couldn't do her job looking after young children all day so I will mention the incident in a non-accusatory tone as you mentioned.

Good point with conversations around using words, I hadn't thought of that.

It’s not that she didn’t notice - just that you don’t think she appreciated quite how severe it was. If your DC recovered quickly she’d have had no reason to investigate at the time.

I think we’ve all had injuries where the bruise etc has been worse than we anticipated.

I would mention it to her/ don’t childminders have to keep a book/ record of injuries for their inspections?? Or insurance purposes??
(Disclaimer; a long time since we had a CM)

Oops rubbish grammar there

Bring it up but only because I think as a childcare provider she needs to keep records and if she notices it at some point she may think he did at home, then she'll ask you what happened and the whole conversation may be a little awkward
Just mention it,, in passing next time you see her.

Easily done I think, let her know but unless there was a repeated pattern I wouldn't worry that this is lack of care. I've watched my own child break her arm doing something very minor. We're all human.

@FranticFrankie @Threelittleduck That was my thought too, like safeguarding and record keeping

You should let her know anyway because she's going to be caring for him and needs to be aware of existing injuries. But it sounds like she is usually on top of these things and just wasn't aware. I personally think it's fine to have bricks and rocks in the garden - DS went to a Forest School preschool which had lots of that sort of thing. DD's preschool had large rocks and stones too.

@Procrastinates Sorry yeah I can see how you thought that now. Was writing in a rush.
I'm sure it did happen at CM, I had eyes on him all morning until he went to hers. But yeah these things do happen and often a bump that looks gentle can come up in a nasty bruise/lump.

Jesus don't do this. Really not an issue for the doctor

@GuPuddingRamekinHoarder "
I would raise it with the CM and say you’re taking DS to the doctor and just wanted to check with her what fell on his foot."

What a waste of a doctor's appointment!!

I'm sure OP will use her judgement given she can see the toe and how much pain her son's in. It may or may not warrant medical attention. My son's has had his big toe x-rayed twice after injuries.