Was this rude?

[ICantStopEatingg1]

I’m a little upset right now and I turn to food usually to cope but trying not to! I don’t want to go into too many details but I had a meeting today with a very senior manager and he took me into an office whilst he collected something. As we walked in a group of ladies started giggling as we walked in and one stopped talking and said very rudely “who are you?” I’m already really self-conscious infront of this manager and they made me feel like shit, it was obvious I walked in with the manager and was with him whilst he unlocked the cabinet to get something. I just felt it was no need for that much attitude. I stumbled on my words and said “I’m xxxxx”, they looked at me really weirdly and just stared. I said “it’s a lovely office” to fill the awkward silence and the women (3 of them) looked at each other and burst out laughing. I felt so embarrassed. Senior manager is little in his own world so didn’t even probably notice the conversation but in my head I feel he’s thinking I’m really awkward. I couldn’t care less what those women think of me.

I keep replaying the scenerio in my head. Don’t know what I should have said but it’s too late.

It says more about them than it does of you. Are they 13?

@SlabsBabs thank you! If you were the manager what would you think of me? I feel
so upset. I’m so self conscious right now because of my weight and these women were like nasty mean girls! So much attitude.

If you could turn the clocks back .. the thing to do would to have stopped .. left a few seconds silence .. sighed .. and then stated " how rude " as you sashayed away

However it's gone now so don't give it any more headspace .. this says so much more about them than it does about you
OP .. don't eat your feelings - do what I do ! Go do a face mask , hair mask , shave legs , nice body lotion , clean jammies , file nails tweeze chin hair---- 💐

@Soditsally thank you I’ve been crying about this! I know I sound so immature but it really hurts when people make you feel less than nothing.

You sound normal, they sound juvenile.

Yes they were rude and weird.

It's hard to know from the written account. "Who are you?" Could mean "ugh, gross, look at this monsterous mess of a person who has arrived here in my sacred space! who are you and why are you here?" Or it could mean "oh, hello, I don't think we've met have we? Let's meet now! Welcome gentle stranger! Who are you?"

The fact they all laughed could be because they are mean girls or could be because they were sharing a joke before you came in and weren't able to compose themselves when you walked in the door.

It's not immature to be upset that 3 woman made you feel tiny and insecure and that the most senior person in the room - a a manager - didn't notice or chose not to address it.

But they do sound immature. And frankly - nasty.

With practice you can learn how to brush things off more.

They made themselves look like prats.

I hear that you're saying you feel less than nothing, but that is a feeling you can work on changing.

OP they sound nasty but you have two ways to look at this:

1. you can cry and let them make you feel awful
2. laugh at them, they are so silly and insecure. Feel sorry for them and not care.

Thank you so much everyone! I just had one bowl of cereal whilst reading your messages and so far I’ve stopped just at one. I know usually I would have had at least 3 bowls by now. Thank you.

@Hotsweatymumsspagetti i love this quote!

I don't understand how you couldn't care less about what they think of you, but at the same time you're crying because they made you feel less than nothing?
As the previous poster said 'Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.' THEY can't make you feel less than nothing. It's easier said than done, but it's up to you whether you think 'I'm so awkward and self-conscious and they were mocking me because of my weight and everyone thinks I'm weird,' or 'What horrible bitches, they can't have much going on in their lives if someone walking into their office is a cause for hilarity, so glad I'm a nice person and not like them.'

As for what the manager thought, from what you've said, it's most likely he didn't even notice the interaction, and, again, if he did and it happened how you'd described, he'd just think 'why are those odd women being so rude demanding to know someone's name and laughing about nothing?'

There's no way he would think anything badly about you because you didn't do anything that could reflect badly on yourself. You made an innocuous and polite comment, there is no way he could interpret that in any negative way.

Like others have said - it says more about them than you. They sound like silly teenagers. It’s also possible that they were having a joke about something before you entered the room. Possibly a joke about the manager. You could have just said “sorry have I missed something? I’m not sure what is funny?” If I was their manager I would have also said something. Try not to dwell on it OP as you will never know and they are not worth the headspace.

You can thank the princesses diary….the driver quotes its when she’s feeling upset about horrible girls and it’s stuck with me.

Three silly cows with no social skills. Don’t give them another thought unless to pity their pathetic selves

I would have thought you were a normal polite adult and that the women in the office should get a life and find some where else to work while they grow up.

Next time.. " I'm your new boss.. haha just kidding" smirk.

Hope you're feeling better about this OP. It says nothing of you and everything of them.

They sound like absolute bitches and I don't use that word lightly. I imagine the manager did hear it but didn't act as they were surprised 3 women can act like children - hopefully, they'll handle it separately or later but it says a lot about them too. I also wouldn't be surprised if the others laughed a little unknowingly and were also surprised by the ring leaders cattiness. A "normal" adult doesn't act that way.

If I were the manager in this situation I would have asked the women to share the joke and make it very clear (passively aggressively) that they were bloody rude.

I don't get why the need for tears, they just asked your name because you don't usually go in the office?

If I were your manager I'd either think nothing about you in relation to this incident because I'd not registered it, being in 'a world of my own'; or I'd be thinking that I really should have challenged the rudeness. Because a workplace culture where people speak to others like that is extremely bad for business. You could have been a client or other guest, and even if he doesn't care how his staff are spoken to he should care about the impression the company gives.

Honestly, these colleagues of yours are behaving like nasty children. All you did is walk into a room with your manager and try to make a pleasant remark. So easy to feel bad in these situations, but they are the ones who ought to be cringing!

Could your response be affected by the fact you already feel self-conscious and particularly so in front of the manager?
I would not assume they were laughing at you and asking who you were in a mean way.

Yeah they sound really weird, like children.

Don’t let them get to you though! You can learn to build resilience to this sort of event. You could just give them a slightly puzzled look and then say, “Hi, I’m xxxxx. Who are you?”

There are bitchy people everywhere, you can’t control them, but you can learn to control your response and whether or not they make you feel upset.