ExH refuses to give me his solicitors details

[twinnings2]

We’re trying to sort out a parenting plan/ child arrangements order and we’ve talked about things we agree on to be written in the plan then whenever my solicitor writes the draft ExH tells me that he doesn’t agree with it and wants the solicitor to change. I can’t keep asking the solicitor to rewrite the draft as it costs me money, he’s now said he will get his solicitor to write a draft and see if I agree with it. It’s been 6 weeks now and still nothing, he ignores me when I text/call him for an update, and refuses to give me the details of his solicitor, as I’d prefer the solicitors to communicate so I don’t have to rely on ExH.

I don’t know how to deal with this, as he doesn’t care and I’m at my wits end!

He clearly doesn't have a solicitor or one he's engaged for Child Arrangements.

Ideally you should:

1. Go to mediation and agree what's in the Parenting Plan
2. The mediator writes it up and you both sign it.

However if you can't agree at mediation then one of you applies to Court. (If the children are mainly live with you then leave him to do it. ) The person who is represented in Court barrister/solicitor ends up writing up the Child Arrangements Order for the Court. If you are both unrepresented then the Court has to do it.

While solicitors tend you to do mediation for months if it is clear after 3-4 sessions you aren't getting anywhere tell the mediator that there is no point in continuing as the other parent keeps changing their mind after each session.

How frustrating! What didn't he agree to on your draft? Is he seeing DC currently? Does he want to see them more/not at all?

Your solicitor writes direct to your ex until he appoints his solicitor.

Seems the best option to me.

The law needs reform so that such behaviour is not without consequences.

The ex can deliberately increase the OP's legal bills by writing back to the solicitor frequently.

He doesn't have a solicitor working on it.

I've started to think this too, why would a solicitor take 6 weeks to write a draft? I don't understand why he would lie about it, I would find out either way.

I don't understand why he would lie about it, I would find out either way.

To delay the divorce and anything to do with it.

That's why if you can take him to mediation.

He's lying just to be difficult.

You really need to not allow your ex to run up solicitors bills going backwards and forwards. Try and find common ground and then work from there.

I think he’s trying to rack up your legal bills.

Each time OP’s solicitor writes to ex or reads a message from ex, they will be charging OP money. Ex could be getting a kick out of this.

Personally I’d set a deadline to send a parenting plan by say 4 weeks time or you’ll book mediation /start court proceedings depending on where you are in the process. Purposely dragging things out so it costs you money should be something that is financially punished.