to be considering another child at 40? Vasectomy reversal success stories anyone?

[MyBrainHurts1]

I have teenage children and husband had a vasectomy years ago

For the past year I just can’t shift this feeling of wanting another but am worried that a reversal is a lot of money with no guarantees

Any success stories?

How long ago did he have the snip?

12 years ago 😢
I’m worried it won’t be effective but ideally don’t want to use donor sperm

This is freaky.

I'm 40 with teens and my husband got the snip 12 years ago too. I've been thinking about this lots but decided against it.

It's just too much risk.

I'm just focusing on my teens, this age is tough and consoling myself with the thought of grandkids one day!

My teens are both ASD and don’t want children so I don’t have this hope to hold onto

Does your husband want another child?

Vasectomy reversals are not available on the NHS.

I don't really know, but I imagine it would be possible to extract DH's sperm for IVF.

The testicles still produce sperm, it's just the tubes that carry it to the prostate that are cut

Having a baby at 40 is nothing, although doing it with two teenagers is more of an issue. What's your DPs view? It's a bit odd to not say. I don't think you should have another child because your two teenagers don't want their own kids. They might change (I wanted 11 when I was a teenager....), and that's not a good reason for having a child anyway. Besides, if 2 have ASD, there's a significant chance the third will, especially with an older Dad as that's a major risk factor.

I think you've got to move on. Your teenage children need you. It's just hormones at the last chance saloon, it'll pass.

DH would like another but doesn’t want to spend money if the chances are low
He is autistic so thinks very logically about things

Given the prevalence of autism in your family there is a high chance your baby could have it and it may have a higher level of need, all this will take from your teenage children.

@MyBrainHurts1 Mumsnet is not the right place to ask about your chances of this. Go on the NHS website for info on that and you might also want to take an AMH test on the first day of your period (tests how many eggs you have - may be little point your OH getting a reversal).
Bearing in mind the diagnosis of your DP and two children, the chances of another child with ASD must be sky high. That's for you, but you'll be managing your two teenagers, a baby, a husband who has his own challenges, and later on you will quite possibly have another teenager with ASD when you and your OH are getting older, and your other children, though in their late 20s or older, may still have additional needs for you to assist with. Personally I think I'd crack with that, but we are all different.
There are other ways of having young/children in your life. Is fostering an option? Most areas are desperate and you won't have young children all the time. Or volunteering with something? Again, opportunities are boundless if you can commit at all.

If you are determined to do it, I would use donor sperm to reduce the risk of autism, given your family history. But only if your DP is on board.

So are my kids, they say the same! But I'm ASD and didn't want kids as a teen and I have had them.
My ASD sister too.

Nobody knows what they want as a teen