Child contact

[Bubblybrunette]

Is it acceptable for ex to turn up for 2 hours supervised contact with his child with a different woman every time? - they are not family members

Well he is at least turning up and the contact is supervised, so I don't see the issue.

I understand this, I am not saying it is wrong I am just asking opinions, but he is introducing strangers each time to our child, this is the 7th lady he has brought in 7 weeks. He is only having 2 - 4 hours per week depending on work schedule etc, it is time he should be getting to know our child's needs. This is to get him to know what child needs, so he is able to have child on his own. Child is only 1 and is wary of different people.

You really don’t see the issue? Would you see the issue if the child’s mum was introducing random men after a first date?

No, OP, it’s not ok. It’s a shit thing for him to be doing. But I’m not sure you’d have any luck in stopping him. I think that the most sensible thing to do would be to explain in an age appropriate way that daddy has lots of different friends, so child will probably meet lots of them, but that she might not see them again.

Course it's not ok. Who are these women?

Is it officially done in a contact centre for court purposes?

Look - you have unfortunately had a child with a man who probably doesn’t give a shit . Is he on the birth certificate?

What does the contact centre/supervisor have to say about that? Contact is supposed to help facilitate consistency in the relationship, bringing a different girlfriend each time would undermine that imo. It also seems very early to be introducing a 'partner'.

Document it all. You want to be able to show the court that the father has never had or tried to have one on one time with his child, and has only added to the child's confusion.

Thank you all for your replies, it is in the process of going to court - there is a backlog apparently - it is all being documented, it is just sad because I truly believe child should have contact and know their dad. Child has only just turned 1, so thankfully won't understand. I chose to make the most amazing child and I wouldn't change a thing. He wants more contact which I have agreed, but everytime I agree with what he wants he rejects it and comes up with a different proposal. I don't really think he wants time or extra time with child. I think he may be trying to upset me. It is in the hands of my solicitors so hopefully it will be sorted soon. He is on the birth certificate. The women are strangers to me, as in I do not know them. He is allowing them in the room when he is changing child's nappy, which is something I am not happy with, again all my thoughts are being documented. I put the post up to see if I was right to be concerned and this sight is good to gauge opinions. I accept some will say it is ok and some will say not.

Unacceptable. I'm glad you are keeping record OP. You seem to have a handle on things.

to be fair, if baby is only 1, they will have no recollection or attachments to any of the women he brings along.. you say its going through the court process now, and i would say pick your battles... its supervised contact so him and whichever woman he brings along are never alone with the baby! i'd say pick your battles and at the moment i would make sure its documented but let it slide and save your energy for bigger battles.

The baby won't know or understand which is a good thing. I am picking my battles but sometimes I just want to scream. That is why I posted on here so I can rant and keep my energy for bigger battles as you say! Once again thank you for all your thoughts.

It is all being documented by the center as well as by myself, so they are also aware of what is happening. As I have said it is just a shame it is happening like this.

but you did ask in AIBU? perhaps if you wanted a rant then CHAT might have been more appropriate?

I am happy to have opinions, rant is probably the wrong word. I just want to have people express their thoughts as to whether it is acceptable.

Yanbu but if he gets unsupervised contact then he will be free to introduce however many women he wants and you wouldn’t have a clue until your child can talk or if ex posts pics on social media.

No, I don't see the issue. The visit is supervised.

Introducing random men after a first visiting is not supervised so totally different.

And if the dad asks for unsupervised access, the OP then has a documented record that he has turned up with a different woman each week, which could be used to get access to continue on a supervised basis instead.

The OP needs to pick her battles carefully.

It's not reasonable at all op.

I suspect from your update he is doing whatever he can to press your buttons, I doubt any of this is because he actually wants to spend time with the baby.
Remain unbothered and go along with it all calmly and he will likely lose interest because he just wants a reaction from you, don't give it.

I don’t really understand how this is happening because when DD was seeing her dad in a contact centre I had to give permission for him to bring people along?

As it is not court ordered, either myself or my mum is to be at the place of contact, although we keep out of the way, we are there just to support if needed, we have a local group that is happy to facilitate this so he apparently can bring who he wants. They are noting who he comes with and how long they stay. As there are apparently no safeguarding issues the official contact center couldn't help. The reason it is supervised is because ex has wanted nothing to do with child, they are supposedly getting to know each other.

I would love to know what girlfriends number 1-6 thought about the situation. Apparently none of them wanted to stick around so maybe they realised something was very off about the whole thong.

He just seems to be bringing random different women, which makes it worse.