Reception feud- WWYD

[Hushmental]

So sorry if this issue sounds very silly. DD started reception this year in a good( strict) school and has been struggling to make friends. She went to a different nursery so no one from her nursery is there. There seems to be groupism in her class already . Everyday she has been coming and telling she was playing alone and she asked other kids to be her friends and they said no which was heartbreaking for me! She has been crying everyday that she doesn’t want to go to school and obviously school mornings are getting difficult. Anyways we were both looking forward to a class kids bday party where whole class was invited , I thought it would be a good start for her to get some friends. Unfortunately the kid and my DD had a feud today(apparently my daughter took one of the toys without asking from the other kid which made her upset and she lashed out at DD asking her not to come to her bday party. I have no idea how to deal with this now. Do I speak to the mum and apologise or do we not go to the party?! Obviously I told my daughter how to behave, be kind and Considerate etc but everyone keeps saying no to her when she asks to play with making her feel quite frustrated and unhappy which is fuelling some of her behaviour and I don’t know how to help her.Any advice would be really appreciated
TIA

You ignore what the child has said unless the parent un invites you.

Quite often children say they had no one to play with when actually they did, or they were alone for a tiny amount of time. Or just don't recognize that what they were doing as playing as it's not what they had in mind.

You help her build friends by approaching the parents and arranging a play date so they can play 1:1. Or get her involved in after schools groups or the rainbows or similar groups run nearby.

The party thing is totally normal. My mum said when we were kids all she ever heard in the street was girls (and it generally was girls) saying to each other you aren't coming to my party now. They were friends the next day. I have two teenage girls and they used to come home upset in primary school because so and so said they weren't invited to their party anymore. We still went.
The hitting and snatching is a bit of a worry. Even in preschool they usually start outgrowing that. If it was happening daily surely a teacher or TA would notice, so I would raise it but be prepared she might be exaggerating or saying that because she's worried about something else.
I suspect if you mention the friendship issue then hopefully the teacher will reassure you or she will find ways to help your daughter find her own group of friends.
Hope it works out but don't avoid the party.

Totally agree also about kids saying "nobody would play with me" usually meaning "I made up a game and tried to get people to play it, but they preferred to stick with another game".

It's awful isn't it. My DD started in September too and has no friends to play with. She did have a friend from nursery she was close to but since they started school the friend (very outgoing) has obviously now got lots of friends and my DD (very introverted) now has no one to play with. She says they the other kids just don't want to play with her.

She doesn't get invited to parties either which is hard as some of the other kids get invited to 2 on the same day. But at this age they're not really friends I suppose, it's just what is most exciting to them and they're drawn to that.

1. Go talk to the teacher about friendships. My youngest dd was similar and had delayed speech. Teacher mentioned a couple of children that might be worth inviting over to play, and sorted so that they did quite a few activities together in the class and the playground.
2. ignore what a 5 year old says about a party. The stuff that gets said in the run up to a party( the power!) is often ridiculous. I would go to the party and stay. Make your absolute best effort to talk to the mums/dad's there..

Mine also said it to me once! And my DM. She was quite looking forward to getting out of it, but I told her she had to come.