To question whether I can trust my colleagues?

[WorthyOrca]

I’ve been working with the same team for a while, and I’ve started to feel uncertain about their reliability and trustworthiness. I often wonder if they’re genuinely supportive or if they would throw each other under the bus if it came to it. Do you trust your colleagues, or have you had experiences that made you question their integrity?

Trust No 1

Go with your gut.

I trust some people with some things. Some people also like drama or gossip too

I have a very confidential job. Others don't understand the words private or confidential, sadly.

I only trust myself and my family

I broadly trust and respect my colleagues, yes. I work in an organisation and a team where there’s far more to be gained overall for everyone by being collaborative and getting things done using transparency and team effort. Our bonuses, for example, are compiled using a scoring metric which means if one team doesn’t meet their stretch targets or a department performs badly on theirs, it impacts on the overall amount available for payment - so no real point in screwing a colleague over or trying to instrument your own gain at somebody else’s expense.

There are a handful of people who are a bit idle or incompetent, as in any organisation, but I work with a lot of people across a lot of departments and can’t say I’ve come across anyone who I’d describe as untrustworthy or Machiavellian.

No, absolutely do not trust work colleagues. They fuck you over.

Most of them aren't really your friends.

When push comes to shove they'll look after themselves. Don't say anything you wouldn't want reporting to the boss.

This.

From experience, most people would throw you under a bus to save their own skin.

I would never trust colleagues anyway but I especially don’t trust the other woman I work with as she has tried to screw me over already. But as a rule I don’t trust anyone at work

Depends what you mean by trust. Trust them to do tasks with competence...yes. Trust them to have your back and care , no.

My experience is that there are very few colleagues I truly trust to have integrity and to be supportive. I find most people very self interested.

I'd never trust work colleagues.

Oh and work friends are rarely actual friends. I have one or two who don't work with me anymore but have been real friends outside of work.

I love my mini team. The 2 women have become 2 of my best mates over the past 12 years and we socialise, help out each other, do kids things etc. The wider team are mostly great too. Really Great people (about 15) but there are a couple I would not trust at all. I keep my distance. Just things I've seen and heard. And I know I'm not the only one that feels this way. So in general YANBU to be wary imo

I love my colleagues and I trust them a lot. However, it's been a long time that I've waited for this kind of relationship. I've had awful colleagues too. See how things go and figure it out from there.

Definitely learnt that told somebody something they then went and told another person and it got bk to manager so I was pulled in office but she has also got herself in to trouble for even asking about so safe to say I won't be talking to her or anyone in my company again. I have trust issues so dnt have friends anyway this is main reason I dnt have friends I'm annoyed with myself cos I should know better

I trusted them to do the job they were hired for, and some of them didn't even do that. So, no.

Going self-employed is the best thing I ever did for myself.

No way would I be putting any trust in colleagues.

Do your job, trust no one.
Its work, not somewhere to become over familiar with people.

Keep your business to yourself and don't gossip.

Some I would. I did at a previous job, and am seeing some of them for drinks later this week. I've been on holiday with some, was a bridesmaid for one, met parents and children - but we all worked together for many years, and others there I wouldn't trust at all.

Only 4 months into this job. Wouldn't trust the guy I have to work most closely with at all (which might prove to be challenging as time goes on.) One of the others, I wouldn't necessarily trust him to do what he says he will on time, as he's easily distracted and gets involved with any problems that crop up, but I absolutely trust him to tell the truth .

The rest of them I just don't know well enough to work it out either way, but there does seem to be general mistrust and a lack of sense of team. Interesting dynamics, but not great to work with...

Trust your gut. I do think it’s generally best to keep colleagues at a distance, especially if in a management position. I’ve seen too many things go wrong. Although I have also made lasting friendships at work previously but would tend to keep colleagues at arms length now

I don't really consider whether I trust them or not to be honest. It doesn't matter. I do my job, reach out when the job means I need to, they do their jobs. What am I supposed to be trusting them with? Why do I need to know if they're trustworthy or not.

Sometimes I need to talk things through with colleagues, how to handle a problem- there are some I would trust more for that than others - who's technically knowledgeable, who will be open about not knowing something, or try to blag their way through in case they look weak somehow. Who will acknowledge the input of others, or take all the credit for themselves. Trust is a part of all of that.

We always told our kids ( now 21 and 26 ) not to tell people at work anything about themselves because someone will always turn it around. My son is in IT, worked for a big energy company for 4 years, then got a new job with a big bank. At the energy company, him and his colleagues had a silly running joke about something that was displayed in the office. Won't go into detail, but it was nothing dangerous, or anything to do with the running of the company or his job. It was a sign on the wall that didn't make sense. On his last day in that job, my son wrote the correct version of how the sign should be, put it over the actual sign, took a photo then removed the sign he'd made. Nothing malicious or underhand at all.
After being at his new job for a couple of weeks there was a work night out. Son is not a fan of them at all, but went because he was the new boy. After a couple of drinks he was telling his new colleagues about this sign, just stating how useless it was, and showed them the photo. They all agreed it didn't make sense.
Fast forward to his 3 month probationary meeting and his manager brought up the subject of the sign and the photo. Then proceeded to accuse my son of trying to bring his OLD company down with it, and they were concerned he would do the same to them!! I mean, this is one of the big, upcoming banks in the UK and they think that correcting a sign on a wall is going to bring the company to it's knees??
It was obvious that one of his colleagues had told his manager about the sign and the photo after the works night out.
My son got up and walked out of the room, telling them that he could never work for or with people who could stab him in the back over something petty that had happened at his old workplace, and had no bearing on the job he had with them, then picked up his bag and left.

I've seen blood relatives fuck their own over; I'd hate to think what they would do to their work friends!

Trust no one sounds very paranoid, I know. I'll only say in a group what I'd say face to face-to anyone.

My immediate team in my current job? Yes, I'd trust them. Of course there's always a chance we'd be competing with each other for promotion etc, and that would be fine and to be expected. So in that sense obviously we'd all put ourselves first. But we all help each other out, support each other, get on well, and are decent human beings.

This is good advice. You can have a laugh and a chat with them, talk about your holiday or house renovations, but do not under any circumstances tell them anything you wouldn’t say to your boss.

I would have thought that goes without saying, in all walks of life: that you shouldn’t say anything behind anyone’s back that you wouldn’t say to their face, and isn’t really about “trust.” I wouldn’t dream of criticising or badmouthing my manager or any other colleague to my colleagues, or gossiping about anything in the workplace, not because of trust, but because it’s unprofessional.