Ex asking DC about if I am seeing anyone

[Sunflowersinthewind]

I'll keep this high level but need to check if I am being unreasonable to decide how I tackle this.

Split up with ex a while ago. Decided to meet up occasionally as friends. My DC came with me last time (been together a while, not EXs DC). Was meant to be friendly.

Ex asked DC while I was out of earshot on multiple occasions if I have friends that are men and then directly if I have a new boyfriend.

I'm cross as it feels they have crossed a line and it's not fair on my DC and not a conversation they should be having.

Well, tell him that then.
And yabu for keeping meeting up.

I think you are both crossing lines by seeing each other socially with the DC. It's a mixed message. Unless it's clear it's a family conversation about DC school etc.

I'd be making it clear it's none of his business what you do in your personal life anymore. However, he may have been trying to find out if you have been introducing DC to anyone, which is a mixed topic on here.

Rise above it. Don't get involved. And don't ask your children to keep secrets.

Live you life however you want and take no notice of your ex asking inappropriate questions. If you have any concerns, take them up with him away from the children.

e.g. "You do realise it's inappropriate and wrong for you to ask the kids about who I spend time with? My private life is none of your business. Stop asking the kids and stop involving them in things that will only cause them to feel conflicted about parental loyalties."

What an arsehole.

I would stop these meet ups because he’s clearly seeing them as something completely different.

Not when it's fuck all to do with him because he's not the kid's father, it isn't a mixed topic.

He obviously can't do the ex as friends thing, so would be best told he was totally out of line and then blocked.

Good Lord stop involving your children in this drama between both of you.

You’re not friends, if you were friends you’d both talk openly about it if you were seeing other people.

Well that proves one thing, that you cannot ostensibly have a relationship simply as friends who catch up on occasion. There's nothing per se to be done about this but simply put an end to the nice days out. He's putting your kids in an awkward position and it doesn't seem anyone is actually enjoying this friendship - certainly not him if his mind is constantly wondering if your seeing anyone, not your kids if they're having to dodge questions about men in your life, and not you if you're trying to paper over the weirdness of this set up.

@NeverDropYourMooncup oooh apologies I missed the DC was not the Exs. Effing hell. No OP tell him to naff off.

Don't ever meet him again.

Stop meeting up with him 'as friends' he obviously isn't over the break up if he's sneakily asking your children if you're dating!

Thanks everyone. Yes no more meet ups. I was just checking that it isn't reasonable to ask my child about it and I am right in saying he has crossed a line there

Very well said

It's not reasonable, it's none of his business!
If he has time with them (not dad so not needed unless they ask I guess). "Awkward! Ask mum!" Or something similar. (I was an outgoing child through and would have totally done this haha)
No contact is necessary it's just drawing it out and giving everyone the Ick!

My father asked me that question once when I was about 12. My reply was "ask her yourself".
His mother stood up and told him to leave me alone thanks Nan

Hi, I've been through similar. When you break up with someone , you cannot or should not expect the other person to be fair and reasonable. You have to be on your guard about everything as some people cannot move on and become bitter and scheming. They can turn your offspring into ' flying Monkeys' a flying monkey can be enlisted without their knowledge so cannot blame the child. The Term ' flying Monkey' is one of many terms adopted by Psychologist to describe a pattern of behaviour by ' Toxic' people. A flying Monkey is there to SPY with You thinking they're your friend and ally. It could be someone from a shared friend -grouop whom is still in with an ex or in my case Ex's s new girlfriends mutual friend of mine. If you are interested in ALL the possible behaviours if a Toxic acquaintance and the popular behaviour Terms just research ' Narcissist behaviour'...... B. T. W. another term is ' TRIANGULATION' where an EX will find another person quick and MARRY in order to TRIANGULATE you ( p|$$ u off)

He’s out of line, time to distance yourself. Children should never be involved in anything to do with discussions about the ins and outs of their parents relationships.