Really had it with work and being undermined/spoken too like I'm thick

[CabraCadabra]

I've been in my role a long time. It's a 'low down' role and SOME people seem to assume I must still be there because I'm a bit thick or something. I'm getting fed up of being spoken to like i'm stupid and being undermined.

Today I'm merrily doing my job and someone waltzes in and loudly says something across the room which totally undermines me in front of several members of staff (and customers). I was doing what I was doing because a manager has asked me to! I have raised it with said manager and I'm sure it will be dealt with, but I'm so fucking fed up of it!

Another member of staff makes it very clear they think I'm a bit thick by explaining no shit Sherlock things to me on a regular basis.

I m thinking of raising it in my next review (where management will say I'm doing a great job, everyone in our role is respected and valued blah blah, but we're not!). Will I look petty?

I've just had enough of it. Im actually contemplating starting to keep a log!

Any tips for dealing with it directly without landing myself in trouble?

Put bleach in their tea.

I dont make tea. unfortunately in this case!

Yes, if you're going to raise it in your review, you should probably keep a log.

So you feel confident addressing it with those who are being rude to you directly? When I first started my career I worked at a place where I was talked to like this because I was much younger (and looked even younger get than I was). One day I professionally stuck up for myself and explained how I felt and basically called them out for talking to me that way. Word got around and no one did it any more

Give as good as you get, without crossing any work red lines, is your best bet as far as I'm concerned. With a situation like this you need people to respect you as a person, and know you as someone that takes no shit. You can't rely on work to swoop in and save you, you have to start being known as someone with a zero tolerance for crap.

Call them out on it.

Be polite and professional about it though, don't stoop to their level. In the example you describe I'd go over and ask them for a quick word. Then say something like "Sandra, I was actually doing this because I've been asked to by Y. I'm sure you can appreciate that coming in here and loudly suggesting I was doing the wrong thing in front of a number of other colleagues and customers, is undermining to my role. I'd appreciate in future if you have any questions about processes I'm managing if you could direct them to me one on one, there's always a good reason I'm doing something a certain way which I'm happy to explain."

People generally are super embarrassed when they get called out on poor behaviour and will back right off if you do it in the right way. you're also then establishing yourself then as someone with backbone who can't be walked over. Asking your manager to deal with it won't help other people respect you in your role, though it's worth keeping them in the loop so they can support you if the person in question gets the hump and tries to go above your head.

I’d be too much of a coward to handle it directly. I’d make sarcastic comments every time like “yes, because I’m clearly too thick to understand that despite working here for 10 years!” Or “Did you really just say that like I don’t know that Anna?” Or “I’m glad you explained that Will, I didn’t know that… only been here 10 years after all…” Grit your teeth, laugh and make out you’re joking.

Spit in their tea?

That's very helpful thanks @elessar

It takes my brain a few seconds to process what's actually just happened and by then the moment to address it has sort of passed, I'm not very good at sticking up for myself. I can stick up for others no problem, but for myself I'm rather rubbish for some reason.

The person who undermined me today is also a manager so I felt it best if my own manager clarified with them why I was doing what I was doing.

Would love too @Screamingabdabz but there's usually customers around so I think I'd get in a lot of trouble then! lol

I know it's easier said than done! You don't have to do it immediately in the moment though, it would still be effective to go up and speak to the person later on - and perhaps in some ways better as you can pick a moment when they're on their own and you don't need to address them in front of a wider group.

Meant to add, just because someone is more senior than you doesn't make them better than you, or you less worthy of respect and professional courtesy.

You're entitled to hold your ground and stand up for yourself, as long as you're polite and professional about it then you can't get into trouble for it.

Another member of staff makes it very clear they think I'm a bit thick by explaining no shit Sherlock things to me on a regular basis.

"Why do you assume I don't know this?"

Good reply @Aquamarine1029 thanks