I feel the same as you OP but I’m trying to make changes.
I have no family or children so it’s just me and my DP and I felt like we were just on a treadmill going nowhere in life and days were slipping us by with boring monotony.
The biggest thing is that I have a disability and was forced to give up work two years ago, in a lot of ways it’s made life better but it’s also difficult with no real routine and structure in my day and I feel quite isolated with DP at work all day so I often spend the day alone.
I started planning things to look forward to and save up for, I went on holiday both last year and this June which kept me going when I was at a low point. I spent ages researching places to go and booked the holidays months in advance so I had time to look forward to them. I’m planning a surprise holiday for my partner in December for his fortieth birthday, it’ll put me in a bit of debt but I’ll cut back as much as possible to make it work and I’m planning it over Christmas so I’m using money that would have been spent on Christmas planning and presents, it’s usually just the two of us who spend it together at home so this will be a nice change.
The holiday will be instead of presents for both of us and I’ve asked friends to contribute instead of buying DP gifts.
I also book trips away for short mini breaks in cities, the holiday inn is very cheap if you book in advance and has a package with dinner, bed and breakfast. We don’t spend much and go for walks or to museums or cheap attractions. Tesco club card is also great for converting the points into trips out or even spa days. We had £150 in points to put towards a spa break earlier this year. I also used points to book a spa day just for myself locally.
I joined a gym and go at the same time every day to keep a bit of routine and I’m also looking at starting a slimming world class as I’ve gained weight from perimenopause, I have been a member in the past and it was nice to meet new people.
I’m not suggesting you need to join a slimming group but I wonder if there are any other groups you could join to meet new people?
Do you play any sports with teams you could join? or maybe you could do an evening class or learn a new language. Some of the happiest most fulfilled people I know say that having a hobby contributes to their happiness in a big way.
A pp asked about peri menopause, is this a possibility? A lot of my friends have said they have similar feelings of discontent and feeling a bit lost and in a rut at the moment, we have put it down to peri menopause as that’s the one thing that the women who are feeling low in common.
I think it’s quite common to get older and feel stuck in a rut and like nothing changes and time moves so quickly so it’s easy to let the days all run into one. When I was working I was doing 55 hours a week and was working - sleeping - working. I was at least around other people though and there was a social side to it. As we get older friends have busy lives and we end up seeing less of them, I think that’s one of the biggest changes. When we are younger we seem to spend a lot more time surrounded with groups of friends and going out and meeting people, this often changes when people start settling down and starting families. I miss the carefree days when me and my friends were all single childfree and spent most of our free time together. It’s easy to let that slip away as we get older and have less time and more responsibilities.
Do you have any close friends you can make plans with? Even if it’s just a night out once a month it’s something fun to look forward to and plan. Can you make more time for phone calls if it’s hard to meet in person? I speak to my best friend for hours on the phone sometimes when I’m doing housework or even just going for a walk. We struggle to meet up regularly in person so we schedule phone calls so we have time to talk and hopefully have a good laugh, it’s amazing the difference having a long conversation and a few giggles makes.
Do you have any pets? A couple of my friends got dogs when their kids left home for company. It’s changed their lives completely as they are getting out and exercising more when walking the dog, my friend even met her fiance when they were both walking their dogs.
It might be worth visiting your GP and telling them how you are feeling, if you are suffering from depression then you might need some medication or support, if you haven’t already considered perimenopause and are at an age where it could be likely then I would suggest mentioning that as well.
One last thing (I didn’t mean for this post to be so long!) I struggle with SAD (seasonal affective disorder) every year and I believe it’s very common. I bought a lamp that’s supposed to replicate sunlight and increase serotonin and melatonin and it seems to be making a difference. I haven’t had it long but I’ll keep using it as it’s worth a try.
I hope things improve for you, feeling lost and unsatisfied with life and being unhappy isn’t something you should ignore as it won’t go away on its own without making changes.