My husband and I just bought our first home after many years of saving and searching. We decided to move to the country, 2 hours away from my narcissistic mother.
She's recently been love-bombing and messaging me all nice (since we moved), but I'm getting reports from my sister and SIL that she's still badmouthing me and trying to get sympathy for not being invited to my new house. My mother is not a nice person. She's bitter and mean, she lies, throws out "eff yous" and "b!tch" like its nothing, never takes accountability or responsibility. No one is allowed to be a bigger victim than her. Constantly crosses boundaries, shows up uninvited, thinks that "working from home" for me means doing nothing all day so she can show up when she wants to dump unwanted items or "gifts" that I don't need/want/have room for. I love the fact that, not only are we 2 hours away, she doesn't even have my address. It gives me peace of mind I can't begin to describe.
I want a good relationship with my dad though, I honestly don't know how he lives with her, but anywhere he goes, she invites herself along. I'm due to meet my father in a couple of weeks to spend the day down in our new town, show him around, and maybe have him for dinner if all goes well. His health has deteriorated in the last few years and we are working on a better relationship after being low contact for a while, I now recognise that a lot of what he's gone through is a result of putting up with my mum for so long and how she treats him, and he's been great at giving me space and communicating on my terms, respecting boundaries and is genuinely happy for me. It will be his first time visiting our new home but I'm worried my mother will show up (we're meeting in a neutral spot first). I guess I could use some moral support and how I can mentally prepare.