Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think about taking pram on the bus?

74 replies

Busterbuster · 23/09/2024 13:53

So I’m most likely being over sensitive to this but I just can’t quite get over it. I’m not good with confrontation what do ever so feel like I just need a bit of a rant if anything.

Unfortunately I can’t drive and due to living in a semi rural area I have to use the bus that runs through our village quite often. I get quite anxious doing this and so have actually bought a pram that folds down tiny in one for periods where I may need to put the pram down for the bus if it’s busy. I had an appointment at the doctors this morning which isn’t in our village and is 25 minutes down an A road (just looked on maps and it says it would actually take 2 hours 45 minutes to walk there), so obviously this is something I had to get the bus for so headed to the bus stop with my son in his pram. It was pouring down with rain so went to wait under the shelter where another woman was sat who was quite a bit older and had a zimmer frame style of walker so it was clear she struggled with her mobility. She then started speaking under her breath but loud enough for me to hear her ‘all these prams getting on busses nowadays, mums aren’t like they used to be’. Normally I’d of stayed quiet but I was already have a crappy morning so I just replied ‘am I supposed to walk all the way to Weston (where the gp was) in this pouring down rain with a toddler?’ And she just said to me that ‘mums used to walk everywhere back in my day, and you’ll be using the priority seating yet it says nothing about prams on there so you shouldn’t be allowed’. Bare in mind that the busses that time of day are always so quiet with no one on there which is why I was going a little earlier to make sure I got the quieter bus. I told her that if anyone ever needed the space then I would always give it up and she just laughed at me and told me to stop lying. I then ended having to walk off and miss the bus because I could feel myself getting upset, I HATE confrontation and I just felt like all I did was turn up at the bus stop to use the bus? I’m always so respectful of everyone, I would always give my seat up on the bus and for her to just laugh at me saying I was lying when I said that really struck a nerve. I’ve seen her around the village before and if we’ve ever been on the same path I’ve always pulled in with my pram and waited for her to pass and not once would she ever acknowledge me nor say thank you. I’m friends with so many people in the village and regularly stop to chat to the older folk who I love speaking with. From her point of view I appreciate that if she’s experienced it in the past with people being unfair in terms of spacing on the busses with her mobility issues, then she understandably deserves the right of way as prams can fold down. I’d never argue that, but just the way she completely tarred me with the same brush when I am completely the opposite of that, really struck a nerve!!! And actually had me in tears on the way home, luckily one of my friends took me to my appointment in the end so I didn’t miss it but I just feel like she’s now shattered any confidence I had to get the bus.

OP posts:
toomuchfaff · 23/09/2024 16:25

cheeeesey · 23/09/2024 16:05

I don't agree with the "bitter old bitch" comments. They are ageist and misogynistic, just because she was extremely rude it's not acceptable.

OP tell your friends in the cul-de-sac. They will know her, she's probably rude to them too, and to the bus drivers and other passengers. Some people just love to think they are "outspoken" and "say it how it is". She sounds like one of them. You should definitely tell her how rude she was if you see her again.

it's not misogynistic or ageist if its direct and factual. I'm not saying she's bitter and nasty because she is old, I'm not saying she is bitter and nasty because she is a woman. I wasnt stipulating that her age or gender was the reason for her bitterness or rudeness, therefore I'm not hating on women or the elderly as a blanket statement, quite the opposite. The animosity is directed purely at her because of her attitude.

cheeeesey · 23/09/2024 16:29

Right and the bit about her walking everywhere "cause there wasn't any buses?" Just ageist drivel. Of course there were buses ffs

ilovesooty · 23/09/2024 16:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

The first London bus was in 1833.

JDob · 23/09/2024 16:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 23/09/2024 16:34

Jellybeanz456 · 23/09/2024 14:43

Old people feel like they gave a right over you the amount that get on with there huge shopping trolleys by mine then give snotty looks because I have a pram is ridiculous! I just ignore them.

Old people?

At what age do old people think this?

Do they get kicked out the old people club if they don't conform?

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 23/09/2024 16:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Ageism

ilovesooty · 23/09/2024 16:36

This woman was appallingly rude but I see this thread has already encouraged casual ageism.

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 23/09/2024 16:37

I'm really sorry you met such a horrible rude person.

Shame this is descending into a nasty ageist thread full of ageist slurs.

Toiletrollwaspreciousincovidtimes · 23/09/2024 16:40

Back in the day (late 80's, early 90's when buses didn't have a plastic screen up) I would hand a dc to the driver while I folded the buggy! If I had all 4 of the dc oldest herded the rest on while I paid and retrieved the baby!! !! Nobody has patience for anyone or anything anymore.

Mischance · 23/09/2024 16:42

She sounds a joy and a delight!

I used to get the bus to town from my village with two children - a toddler and a baby and a pram - people were so helpful; and as you say, buses in the middle of the day are virtually empty.

To lighten the mood .... I once got on the country bus when newly arrived in the area and no-one knew me and I knew no one. I sat behind 2 elderly ladies and overheard: "Have you seen the new doctor yet? He's far too thin - his wife cannot be feeding him properly - what can she be thinking of?" I was the wife!! 😀

CowboyJoanna · 23/09/2024 16:46

YABVU.

It wouldn't have taken you two minutes to get the child out the buggy, fold buggy up, and then put child back in buggy getting off the bus. The old woman was curt but shes probably fed up with having to be squished by hoardes of mums with kids in giant buggies hogging the entire bus.

All these people saying YANBU clearly don't regularly use the bus like I do.

DeccaM · 23/09/2024 16:50

She has probably had bad experiences with people who refused to fold their buggies when she needed space on the bus. That's no excuse for her to conflate those rude, entitled people with you, though. As you've said, you would always give up your place for someone who needed it.

CowboyJoanna · 23/09/2024 16:51

Also Im sorry but I fucking hate using buggies and prams. As soon as my kids were walking, the buggies went to bloody oxfam

Busterbuster · 23/09/2024 16:55

CowboyJoanna · 23/09/2024 16:46

YABVU.

It wouldn't have taken you two minutes to get the child out the buggy, fold buggy up, and then put child back in buggy getting off the bus. The old woman was curt but shes probably fed up with having to be squished by hoardes of mums with kids in giant buggies hogging the entire bus.

All these people saying YANBU clearly don't regularly use the bus like I do.

The bus stop was on a main A road so I didn’t want my toddler out the pram whilst waiting as he is still working on staying next to me for the moment, and like I said I purposely got a bus that I knew would be empty and there would of been enough room on it for the both of us - had it arrived and there happened to not be enough room, then like you said it would of taken me two minutes to fold it up which I would of gladly done.

OP posts:
MrRobinsonsQuango · 23/09/2024 16:58

Lovely for you 🙄. But guess what other people often have different thoughts to you and want to do things differently
How do you know she wasn’t going to fold the pram? You don’t even know old the baby / child is!

Nodlikeyouwerelistening · 23/09/2024 17:16

You and your toddler have just as much right to be on the bus as any other member of the public. It’s called PUBLIC transport. Vile witch. And how dare she just assume you don’t have a disability of your own. Not all disabilities are visible.

I get why you walked away but you should have stood your ground here. She had no right to be so rude and judgemental. If she doesn’t like other people with just as much right as her to be using the bus because it’s inconvenient for her then she should get a bloody taxi or take it up with the bus company. There’s a reason most people loathe public transport, but if you need to use it you have to deal with the mouth breathers, the talking too loudly-ers, the really need to showerers, and yes- the buggies- it comes with the territory the same way everyone else on the bus has to (sadly) put up with her being a cantankerous hag.

Soubriquet · 23/09/2024 17:21

You’re allowed on the bus with a pram. You don’t even need to fold it unless another pram is already on there, or there’s a wheelchair.

Wheelchairs come first. Walkers and zimmer frames don’t

NeverDropYourMooncup · 23/09/2024 17:22

She's probably had enough of years of pavement panzers taking up the disabled space and having to stand in pain (if she's even been able to get on the bus at all) whilst people decide they have to sit by their empty pram because somebody might look at it. And clearly getting an earful from people about being a bitter old bitch and the shit that's being slung around on this thread about her.

Not great for you, but clearly not been great for her for years.

cheeeesey · 23/09/2024 17:32

"You’re allowed on the bus with a pram. You don’t even need to fold it unless another pram is already on there, or there’s a wheelchair.

Wheelchairs come first. Walkers and zimmer frames don’t"

Wow, a pram surely comes after a zimmer frame or walker?

The woman was bloody rude but she definitely needs a seat and room to park her walking frame. The OP would've folded the pram for her

Seasmoke · 23/09/2024 17:39

When I had a pram that I would take on buses it would always be old ladies putting their shopping trollies in the pram space who would mean because they had to remove them for a pram. Fgs. It used to drive me mad. The space isn't for their Iceland frozen lasagne. It's wheelchairs then buggies.

MouseMama · 23/09/2024 17:49

She’s an incredibly rude woman who was unkind to you for no reason. The bus is there for you and her equally. As others have said the only reason you have to move really is when a wheelchair user gets on. Next time just ignore her or tell her to have a nice day!

KittenOnTheTable · 23/09/2024 17:54

I would've walked to the bus stop before that one and got on and wait for the look on her face when she got on but I'm petty like that. Least you'd of been away from the miserable cow

BashfulClam · 23/09/2024 17:54

I wouldn’t even have bitten let her waste her breath muttering.

Balloonhearts · 23/09/2024 17:56

Should've replied that sadly manners aren't what they used to be either. We used to respect our elders but she isn't worth respecting.

Or ask her why she isn't walking? She's got a walking frame so she should use it for uts intended purpose and walk. Or alternatively stop being so fucking ridiculous and rude.

cuckooooooo · 23/09/2024 17:59

She sounds very nasty and bitter. Imagine how she feels waking up being herself every morning, miserable. You did nothing wrong. Things have changed 100 years on and I hardly doubt she would have done a 3 hour walk anyway

Swipe left for the next trending thread