Sick people coming over.

[Sickday444]

I know toddlers are generally ill and once she starts formal childcare (she’s just turned 1 and won’t be starting for a year or so) she’ll be constantly sick/exposed to everything. I’m not usually a germ-a-phobe, usually quite the opposite with wanting her to get a natural immunity.

As she won’t be starting nursery I take her to a lot of groups/play dates/activities to ensure that she’s used to others. I accept that kids outside have snotty noses but hosting play dates I don’t really want sick people in my house.

Two weeks ago we were hosting a few baby/toddlers. The night before one of the mums asked if she was still ok to come as her DD had caught something at nursery that was lingering but was feeling ok. I didn’t ask her to not come. I caught it, DH caught it, DD wasn’t too bad but two other kids ended up getting it really bad.

I’m meant to be hosting a play date today. I’ve just received the following text:

‘P has woken up full of cold. Hopefully she’ll perk up after lunch.. shall be over after her nap if she’s feeling a bit better..’

I’m awkwardly British that I don’t like causing a fuss. However, I really cannot be bothered to play roulette if I’ll end up with a sick baby or a husband with man flu.

I'd say something like " Sounds like P needs a rest today, we will reschedule and catch up another day when everyone is well, hope P feels better soon!"
Can't stand it when people bring sick kids around other children.

Just reply and say “sorry to hear that and let’s rearrange since she’s not well and I don’t want to catch anything. Hope she is much better soon.”

I hate it too, I don’t know why people do it because I never would.

I would say something like ‘oh no, I hope she feels better soon. We will leave it for today then as I’m feeling a bit run down myself. We will do it again soon’.
I realise mine involves a white lie, but it will leave no room for her to reply with ‘oh I’m sure she will be fine and I’d hate for her to miss it so we will still come’ type replies!

You need to work on that "not wanting to cause a fuss", you're not causing a fuss, you're advocating for your health and the health of your household. Tough if someone takes the hump.

Presence your own peace, health and happiness.

I was half expecting to be flamed that I was being a PFB mum.

Good advice, more of a spin of doing them a favour than a ‘I don’t want your germs thanks’

Any advice when it’s adults who are sick but still wanting to come over 😓

I hate it when people do this. Any of the responses PPs have suggested. Some parents used to do that at playgroups too 'he's not himself as he's not very well'. Sod the other kids, the parents, pregnant mums, those with caring responsibilities etc. Yes, people get ill, but it's absolutely
fine to not want to invite illness into your home OP.

My SIL is like this, she's invited me over a few times and when I've got there the kids have had sickness and diarrhea, a bad cold, fevers etc. Some of it isn't even obvious when you walk in, the sickness for example, my nephew was up and about playing then he fell asleep and she mentioned he'd been really ill for 3 days! My DD and I always caught everything too. I don't know what goes through people's minds I really don't.

Let's reschedule. Hope you feel better soon.

Yes definitely reply and say let's reschedule as we have only just got better after being sick so don't want to take the chance.

Oh god, why do people do this?

Don’t bring your sick child to meet up with others. It’s not hard!

As others have said - something along the lines of “Oh poor X, it sounds like she could do with a day at home resting - and we’ve only just got over a nasty cold ourselves”. The second part makes it clear in a non confrontational way that you don’t want them to come and ensures the mother doesn’t tell you the child will be fine after some calpol or a nap or something!

I think you could work in the fact that your not 100% after catching something last week tactfully without naming germy child might help.

One of mums,at nursery used to send her child in whatever was wrong with him even noro virus. It's all a bit weird

Only yourself to blame. The first mum asked and you didn't tell her not to come. Now this mum is telling you and you still dithering over it.
Come on, you either want to take the chance and get sick or not.

With adults I'd say we have just been through a bout of illness and don't want to catch anything else. Let's get together when you are well so we can enjoy it fully.

I wouldn't bother with any excuses or white lies. Just tell her politely but firmly that you can't risk your family all getting sick again, and that you hope her child gets better soon.

Don't overthink it. She's giving a heads up so you can say no. She'll know exactly why you've said no whatever tale you spin, so don't make it too elaborate.