To be annoyed at colleague for doing too much work?

[User364837]

Trying to work out if this is a me problem or ainbu for feeling annoyed with colleague and might say something to her.

We’re on a training programme. Im older and have a bit more experience than her. She is incredibly bright, incredibly productive and incredibly intense.

we’re working together on something with a more senior colleague from the team I am going to go to when we finish our training, she’s going elsewhere.

she is just so damn quick. We got some more information in and the senior colleague has set up a meeting to discuss how we’re going to proceed.

but she’s already looked at all the stuff and is asking me what I thought (I haven’t looked yet, busy with other stuff!) she’s prepared a lengthy summary document on her findings to share at the meeting.

AND she did all this last week when she was on leave.

it really annoys me and I can’t figure out if it’s just that my nose is out of joint?

but I think it is also that it makes me look rubbish and also it’s like someone giving you the answer to a maths problem before you’ve done the working out. By racing ahead it means I don’t kind of do the process myself which I need to do.

aibu to tell her to back off and slow down? (Politely) or am I just bitter she’s better and quicker than me?

What exactly is it that you're working on? Is it the type of thing where she needs your input in order to progress things on her side, or can it wait until the meeting and she's just asking for your thoughts now out of interest/to show enthusiasm?

I'd try to take the emotion out of it.

If the former then it's a question of looking at what else you have on and whether giving her the input takes priority over that.

If the latter then I'd just own your experience and stick to your original plan. Tell her you haven't had a chance to look yet, and do the other more important work first.

Pay heed your niggles. Its hard to tackle without looking unreasonable, but if you think she is undermining you, you aren't necessarily wrong.

I have actually been in a similar situation, when a younger, single colleague lived in a flat close to the office and would finish a piece of work in the evening, whilst I was juggling a commute and family life. She'd then bombard me with questions first thing in the morning, when I still hadn't had an opportunity to look at what was needed. I'm afraid to say that she succeeded in wrong footing me on a couple of occasions and it was absolutely deliberate. And horrible.

I changed job in the end, because I couldn't win, but it affected me quite badly at the time. The one thing I wish I'd done was point out more frequently what she was doing to others. As in, make it much, much clearer that she was working in her own time. I also think I perhaps should have let my manager know I felt undermined. Other people do start to see behaviours once they are pointed out to them.

Actually, I rather see your point. I think the issue here is that you are meant to be working as a team. If you were to do as she has done and pull together a detailed summary of findings, would you have duplicated each other's work? If someone is going to pick something like that up, it's good to let the others know - it's more efficient. It's also really important to give credit to others. Doing so will make you look better, not worse. This stuff will become even more important if she wants to be able to lead a team.

I don't know the industry that you work in. In mine, being over complicated and detailed annoys the clients paying - they often want a one page summary, not a ten page report.

I would be a bit concerned about someone working during their annual leave. I once gave feedback on a colleague in another department which said that her sending me emails throughout the night and during weekends means she is working at her own expense.

The other manager in my team is like that. She is doing 3 jobs at once, and if we have a managers meeting with actions agreed she will come up with the entire project completed the evening of the meeting, before I've even had time to read the meeting summary... It's irritating although I recognise her value to the company.

It's not jealousy. It's about a highly performant but mostly single and childless individual working crazy antisocial hours at the complete opposite to our company culture.
It's what I used to do as an intern or junior, and it was fine then to develop my experience, but as a manager you're expected to demonstrate the right behaviours and this is not how we work.

That said, I've learned to let go and let her do what she wants, as she doesn't have bad intentions and her work is usually quite good.

Sorry OP, I'm this person at work!
I work a lot quicker and more intensely than others, it's exhausting and I'm sure it's annoying for some colleagues. I try to downplay at times so that I don't make others look like they're doing less even though what they're doing is normal, I'm just going excessive.

I have ADHD and ASC and often burn out/lose interest after a couple of years. I'd much prefer to work steady and then maybe I'd work upwards rather than sideways all of the time due to job changes! Waiting for medication to see if that helps!....

To add, I work intensely as I become consumed by work! So others won't see how much it impacts me ..and family life at times. Great for work, great for clients, not so great for me!

Just be firm with yourself. I have learned the skill over the years of channeling this part of my personality into work hours and refusing to work outside of them unless a dire emergency or pre agreed overtime. It takes practice but repeatedly telling yourself "I will log off at 5 and the world won't burn down" helps.

@Isitlunchtimeyetimhungry Thanks, I get the need to be firm- I've been CBT'ing and DBT'ing myself since teen years to try and manage intense feelings/fixations! I even had to stop reading for a year as I was reading 7 hours a day! The tricky thing is that I love it whilst I'm doing it. My 'special interests' change and whatever I'm fixated on becomes all consuming for that time. I have had to be firm with myself this time around, as I really like this role (therapist!) and don't want to burn out.

That wasn't intended as a sharp response btw! :)

@Isitlunchtimeyetimhungry

Working when on leave is weird and very much 'try-hard'. It's fine for her to do as she wishes but she shouldn't be putting you on the spot without knowing you had a chance to review the work

I didn't read it as one :)

So there's an opportunity here: you can share your experience, stakeholder management skills and team work and the importance of not working on leave and she could maybe show you how she organises her time to work so quickly and summarise things? Together you could be a formidable team.

She isn't going to get far if she doesn't share praise and you will feel bitter if you don't build bridges

I have been your colleague and I have to say remember what you can offer. What she may still need to learn and what i learned from someone with more experience is not to rush ahead and take time to consider what you are doing before jumping straight in.

This.

I don’t think you can pull her up, but I do think if you’re working on something together you’re within your rights to
state your preferred way of working and capacity to get stuff done at rapid pace, it can’t all be done her way.

She does sound very annoying 😂

I used to make roles redundant. I'd get them running so efficiently I wasn't actually needed anymore or so that roles could be done part time. Some people just do stuff very fast. She'll soon learn it doesn't make you friends nor do you any favours work wise. In my last corporate role I'd just get my work done and then use the work gym or pool or go online instead of asking for more work.

YABVU
She’s ambitious, good luck to her.
Try being her mentor, she could make you look good too.

I hate colleagues who do work at home. It's not part of my career all work done in setting. I would tell boss she does it on own time. I tell my boss when it happens as I refused to look lazy/incompetent because of someone else's actions. On a side note due to child protection none of our work should leave building. But that's another story.

If you are meeting your contractual agreements and doing the work your manager expects then no one else can make you look lazy or incompetent.
If your manager believes you are lazy or incompetent then they are a poor manager. If two people doing the same role differ in the work they produce, the manager should find out why. The person working extra outside of their hours should tell the manager this. If there is an expectation you work outside of contracted hours then that it, again, poor management.

What happened when you told your boss?