AIBU to post a letter through my neighbours door about noise?

[Soomanyquestions]

Moved house recently, I have small children and a mother and son live next door.
Nearly every night I can hear shouting, banging and screaming. Can go on until 12am and it’s driving me mad! Even during the day you can hear them from outside shouting and screaming occasionally.
I don’t think anyone is in any physical danger, they don’t argue in English so I can’t be sure but it appears to be the son shouting.
AIBU by posting a note through the door? I’ve only met the woman a few times and she’s quite standoffish so wouldn’t feel comfortable speaking to her directly.
my children are afraid and keep asking what’s that noise but I don’t know if there’s maybe a reason the son is so loud so don’t want to come across as rude.
what would you do?

I would say from a bad experience with loud neighbours getting violent in response to being spoken to directly, I agree don't speak to them directly.

You can try a note through the door as the council will ask if you've spoken to them first. You could also try keeping a log of incidents and recordings if the sound will actually be picked up on a phone, before approaching the council.

That sounds horrible. Obviously it’s a very personal decision how to handle this, but I think putting a note through the door as your first communication about this could appear rude and cause offence, and that would likely be counterproductive.

There really is no substitute for personal contact. Sometimes people simply don’t understand that noise travels through walls. I would knock on the door but take someone with me for backup.

But also.. how old is the son? How are you sure there is no physical danger? I’m wondering if anyone is at risk here, which would require a different response.

Posted before I read yours, @ridl14 …..

@Keepingongoing @ridl14 thank you for replying!

it was the same this morning at 7.30, continued last night until after 12am.

the kids asked this morning what was going on and I said ohhh they must be playing who can scream the loudest - so we joined in. I haven’t heard anything since so maybe it is a case of they didn’t realise we could hear?

ill start making a log and recording I think that would be best and if it continues this week I’ll say something on Friday.

I’ve only seen the son a few times but I’d guess he’s approx 10. I’m afraid incase there’s a reason he acts out I don’t want to make the mum feel bad.

i also haven’t lived here long so don’t want to rock the boat

That sounds effective! Maybe they really didn’t realise…

A log sounds good. Is next door owner occupied or rented?

Can you tell whether he’s just a noisy shouty child or maybe he’s a child who’s being abused or mistreated? Because if the latter, in your position I really would feel I had to contact social services.

Do you have any concerns that the boy is unsafe or could be being abused?

I wouldn't say anything. I'd go straight to the council. If you say something and it doesn't work and then go to the council they'll know it's you. Whereas if you go directly to the council then they might have suspicions but not 100% knowledge.