AIBU to investigate a diagnosis of ASD?

[CanIpetthatdoge]

My DS is 9. We have always had inklings that he has some kind of asd but because he’s ’high functioning’ (apologies I’m not sure of the correct terms really) we haven’t sought a diagnosis. However things seem to be affecting him more and more, especially since the arrival of his new sibling and also during periods of stress. Also, things were easier to overlook when he was younger.

Things we are concerned about-

1. sensory issues (he can’t wear ‘proper’ shoes, they have to be barefoot shoes), can’t do things with friends like laser tag as the noise and lights etc too much, we’ve had to leave parties when the noise has been too much, doesn’t like being touched (if you touch him too lightly he cries and says it hurts and makes his whole body itch) He can’t put his own socks on because he can’t make them comfortable so we have to do it. 2 Parasomnia- has always had sleep issues, horrific night terrors, sleep walking, trouble going to or staying asleep, frequent waking (gp was good but the hospital wouldn’t accept a referral to look into it) 3 He is very black and white and literal, quite hard when explaining things to him or when his friends do something 4 Super hard on himself and struggles with critique or getting things wrong(this may be a personality thing but I’ve read it can be linked with asd) 5 Repeats himself, repetitive language or behaviours E.g. he started having to touch all four corners of his reading book when we were reading, I managed to wean him off that 6 He always used to have what I would call meltdowns but they did subside and became few and far between. However he had another one recently which was due to his routine being disrupted and it was awful

These are just a few things as there are more but I don’t want the thread to be really long. These could all be personality things but equally when you put them together does appear it could be asd?

Does this sound familiar to anyone? We are likely to go private to have this investigated due to his age and the waiting times, has anyone got anywhere they recommend?

His teachers haven’t recognised anything, however his teacher last year did say he appears tired and spaced out sometimes so we confided in her about the sleep issues.

DH doesn’t really want to think that anything might be ‘wrong’, but I think a diagnosis might help us manage his behaviour better and also help him in the future if he needs to access any further support. Does this all sound reasonable?

It’s up to you.

from my experience though, you’ve basically just described my diagnosed ASD son.

@HotPotato123 Thank you, did your DS need support in school or anything? How old is he?

You've just pretty much listed the bingo card for ASD. Definitely get him assessed.

A diagnosis is so worth while. Not just in terms of getting further support for your DS but also in terms of helping him to understand himself. It's vital.

You have just described my ASD child. I got a statement. We have always managed and supported them so well at home that they didn't need much from school. (Which was good because school was rubbish). Without the statement though the school would have been much tougher on lates etc(because we were having a melt down getting to school) so it has cut us some slack which has been really necessary for us. Good Luck with whatever you decide.

Op this sounds like ASD to me. My son had a lot of similar symptoms in school. He didn't want to make a fuss and kept quiet. He got worse though as he got older. Finally saw a doctor last year who was very sympathetic. Now on regular medication and a lot lot better. Still has the occasional outburst but a lot calmer

Thank you all, I feel we should have done this earlier but we explained some things away like it’s just personality or age etc

Can I ask what ages your children were assessed/diagnosed?

Yes all of this is very familiar (also one DC with ASD). I would say a couple of things

Yes I agree with setting the wheels in motion now as the wait can be a long one. As you say, things that seem normal / just part of them when they are younger tend to become more pronounced as they get older as they move through the school system. Starting secondary (or year 8) is a very common year for those with ASD to really start struggling (though not all do obviously)

Also those who generally present as fine at school slip through the cracks as in any school there will always be those with more obvious issues that will take priority. Teachers do get their best but with limited time and resources it's the parents that often notice and have to do the pushing.

Finally- I do understand your DHs sentiment- nobody wants there to be anything concerning with their DC but you are spot on in your thinking in my opinion. There is no benefit in anyone sticking their head In the sand

@shellyleppard can I ask what medication and what it is for specifically?

Thank you @beasmithwentworth , my worry is it’s going to get more pronounced the older he gets

Ive said to DH that these issues are here whether we like it or not so it’s worth investigating. DH is so worried now DS is going to have a harder life which is I’ve said we can counter by getting him the proper support. I’m going to show him this thread because I know this will help