I know I am but how to stop

[Cupofteaandbiscuits]

TW childhood trauma

I have anxiety. It started when I lived in a violent household then was groomed by a family member. I’ve had counselling, CBT, every type of meds. Sometimes they work for a while sometimes nothing works. Anxiety is ruining my life. I spend my whole life worrying something will happen to my children or me or DH. I analyse every conversation and convince myself that people are talking about me or laughing at me. I can’t stop. I’m currently on medication that has been the most successful so far and has improved it a bit. I’m now on the max dose of this. What else do I do? More counselling? Different meds? I’m sick of my life being ruined. I can’t enjoy anything.
Right now I know this isn’t right but when I panic that’s it.
if you’ve felt like this what did you do?

CBT helped me but you said you tried that and it didn't help. It also helped me to learn breathing exercises and distraction techniques to calm myself down when I felt panic coming on.

Now if I start getting anxious about something I can talk myself down, I can slow down my breathing and tell myself that this has happened before and everyone was fine, nothing happened, it's unlikely to have happened.

I had a tough childhood and ended up having massive panic attacks and worrying about my ex, tracking him (via phone locations) to make sure he was still alive and if I hadn't heard from him in half an hour I was in a massive panic and hysterical believing he was dead.

Honestly, it's taken a long time with therapy and CBT but I'm past it now.

I'm sorry you've been through that OP💐

Have you ever looked at CPTSD? There's a very good book called CPTSD from surviving to thriving by Pete Walker you might find useful.

I recommend trauma based therapy try BACP.

Try meditation, mindfulness, yoga, magnesium.

Sometimes therapy doesn't work because it's not the right time, or it's not with the right person, or sometimes both.

The relationship in therapy makes a big difference.

I'd agree re mindfulness/yoga - something that can connect your mind and body - it really enhances interoception. Also further therapy and being aware of your routines like sleep, social media, diet and exercise. People often scoff when they're told about sleep diet and exercise but it has a huge impact on our bodies and minds!

Two options one is mindfulness such as Headspace the other is EMDR https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/treatment/

I agree you have to be in the right space for therapy to work.

I find meditation helps, especially first thing in the morning, I tend to wake up feeling panicky so the meditation helps me calm down before I start the day. Plenty of guided videos on YouTube. I do things to take my mind off my anxiety, watch a new series, read a book, learn a new skill, I learned to crochet watching YouTube videos. I make a point to get out of the house everyday no matter how bad I feel, I usually go for a walk or take the kids to the park or library etc. It’s tough OP, I hope you start to feel better soon.

Has anyone had anti depressants that work? I’m on venlafaxine but I’m not sure it’s helping as much anymore!