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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask you about property and wills

44 replies

LolleePop · 22/09/2024 14:41

My DF lives in a house with his partner. Let's call her Tilly.
They have been together 55 years.
The house is under Tilly's name. She bought it outright with her own money (unexpected inheritance) whilst she and my DF were very first together as a couple. The deeds are solely in her name. My DF did not buy the house with her.
They are not married. They both had previous marriages with children, both divorced then met each other, and both decided not to marry again.
They have gone on to live a very happy life together and love each other very much. They are now in their 80s and have lived together in Tilly's house for 55 years.
DF has refurbished the entire house over the years, and has ploughed tens of thousands of pounds of his own money in to upgrading the house and making it lovely for them to live in.
I know that Tilly has made a will, which leaves her house To DF if she dies first.
Tilly has 2 adult children (from a previous relationship, they are not my DF's biological children), and my DF has me.
Here's my question:
If Tilly has left her house to DF in her will, can she state within her will that after he dies, the house then gets passed on to her 2 children?
B

OP posts:
GOODCAT · 22/09/2024 14:41

Yes

PrincessofWells · 22/09/2024 14:43

Yes it's called a lifetime trust.

Glitterybee · 22/09/2024 14:43

Yes

The fairest approach would be for it to be split between you 3

safariled · 22/09/2024 14:43

yes

but it would be worded in such a way that the property wasn’t transferred to her partner as him owning it but rather a lifetime tenancy

XenaBallerina · 22/09/2024 14:44

Yes she can

safariled · 22/09/2024 14:44

what is your relationship like with Tilly?

HansSolo22 · 22/09/2024 14:45

No, if she leaves it to your father, it’s entirely up to him who he leaves it to when he passes. There is something different called a lifetime interest in the property where she could say that your father can remain in the property until his death, then the property goes to her children.

Tulips543 · 22/09/2024 14:46

If set up as a lifetime trust, then yes. If left directly to your DF then he could bequeathe it to whoever he wanted in his will.

Cherrysoup · 22/09/2024 14:47

Legally, no. You can express wishes in a will, but you can’t enforce it and her offspring could challenge her leaving it to him solely should she pre-decease her, unlikely tho that is, statistically. You dad, if the sole owner, can leave it to whom he likes. She might be better off putting something in the will along the lines of he can live there until his death then it reverts to the children. She should put it in a trust, imo. Just done my will with an estate planner.

Original poster
LolleePop · 22/09/2024 15:02

Thanks everyone.
I wonder if she's done a lifetime trust will then.
Tilly doesn't like me. Never liked me when I was a little girl, doesn't like me now I'm a woman. She has had zero contact with me throughout my lifetime and sees me as the reminder of my DF's previous marriage.
I love my DF very much, but our relationship has been impacted by Tilly.
I've watched my DF devote himself to Tilly and to their house. Every time I've ever gone round to visit he's laying new floors, or decorating, or fitting a new kitchen or new bathrooms, or converting the loft.
DF has always prioritised Tilly over me. In every single year of my life.
I think I just feel sad that not only have I missed out on a close relationship with DF throughout my life, I will also miss out on any inheritance if there's a way that she has ensured DF can carry on living in the house after her death but that it will eventually be left to her own 2 children.
She never saw me as her step child or an addition to her family in any way. She tried very hard indeed to shut me out.

OP posts:
MrsToothyBitch · 22/09/2024 15:03

If I were Tilly, I'd do a life time trust - to cover what happens should your DF out live her.

The fairest thing would be to then split the property between her DC & you as your dad has put a lot of his money into the house . You may be at the mercy of her DC though if they don't like it - and it's up to her what % share you get.

safariled · 22/09/2024 15:04

Tilly doesn't like me.

well, knock me down with a feather!

OP, i reckon you won’t get a look in i’m afraid

and your DF sounds a bit of a limp lettuce so probably agreed the will as stands ie her children get everything, is fine by him

safariled · 22/09/2024 15:05

by the sounds of it - you have a very distant relationship from your father and likely hardly see him?

Original poster
LolleePop · 22/09/2024 15:08

safariled · 22/09/2024 15:05

by the sounds of it - you have a very distant relationship from your father and likely hardly see him?

I do see my father quite regularly actually.
I love him very much.
I try to visit when Tilly isn't there and enjoy his company.
But mostly Tilly is there and she very much dominates and controls things to make it so that DF and I don't get any time alone, which affects our closeness.

OP posts:
safariled · 22/09/2024 15:14

LolleePop · 22/09/2024 15:08

I do see my father quite regularly actually.
I love him very much.
I try to visit when Tilly isn't there and enjoy his company.
But mostly Tilly is there and she very much dominates and controls things to make it so that DF and I don't get any time alone, which affects our closeness.

Edited
Show quote history

i’m surprised you are keen to see him so much

given he quite catastrophically has let you down for past half century

safariled · 22/09/2024 15:15

She has had zero contact with me throughout my lifetime

must have curtailed any kind of regular contact with your father

StarlightExpressed · 22/09/2024 15:16

Has your father paid for all the improvements or was it a joint contribution? How would you know the ins and outs of their finances? I'd be surprised if Tilly left the house to your DF knowing you are in the wings. More like a lifetime trust. Your dad has presumably enjoyed all these years rent free. Be pleased for him. But don't expect any of it to come your way though as your DF doesn't own the house.

Original poster
LolleePop · 22/09/2024 15:24

safariled · 22/09/2024 15:15

She has had zero contact with me throughout my lifetime

must have curtailed any kind of regular contact with your father

I meant to say she has made zero contact with me.
Not had.
As in, if I don't go round to visit and see her whilst I'm visiting my DF, I wouldn't see her, as she never contacts me, and never has.

OP posts:
InterIgnis · 22/09/2024 15:26

She’s likely done a lifetime trust.

You may not have had an inheritance regardless of whether Tilly was in the picture - that would be entirely up to your dad. He chose to invest his money in her house, the same way he chose not to prioritize his relationship with you. Those are both choices he was free to make, and the consequences are his to take responsibility for.

safariled · 22/09/2024 15:26

LolleePop · 22/09/2024 15:24

I meant to say she has made zero contact with me.
Not had.
As in, if I don't go round to visit and see her whilst I'm visiting my DF, I wouldn't see her, as she never contacts me, and never has.

Show quote history

ok but given she’s controlling and her age… i’ll take a punt she’s pretty much always at home when he is

either way op…, i’m afraid you won’t be getting a slice of that pie

and you’re presumably not close enough to your father to enquire?

safariled · 22/09/2024 15:27

at some point over the past half century, he could have got him name on deeds

or even… bought his own property

he did not

thepariscrimefiles · 22/09/2024 15:37

Do you have your own mother OP? If so, will you inherit from her?

AmeliaEarache · 22/09/2024 15:47

If it’s her house, isn’t that fair enough, @LolleePop ? It’s her asset to leave as she sees fit.

Your father may have done work on it or spent money on refurbishing it, but he didn’t pay the mortgage nor presumably give her rent. So he has benefited his adult life from a home he didn’t buy, and he didn’t put a similar amount of money away as savings.

I can’t see why you think a woman who doesn’t like you should end up leaving part of her assets to you even indirectly.

I’m not sure you can say you will “miss out on an inheritance” because it was never going to be yours in the first place. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Lots of us aren’t going to inherit property.

Soontobe60 · 22/09/2024 15:51

What @AmeliaEarache said! Presumably your DF had full understanding that the house didn’t belong to him. I really fail to see why you think youre entitled to it.

Hoppinggreen · 22/09/2024 15:58

We are on the other side of this.
My Mum left her house to me in her will with the proviso that her Partner can stay there until he wishes/dies.
Its awful, I appreciate its his home but for a variety of reasons its not a good situation for any of us including him