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AIBU?

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Original poster

Ticket etiquette??

143 replies

Ticketsarenotfree · 22/09/2024 12:29

So my husband and I had tickets to an event but he can't go because he's got COVID. I said on my group chat that if anyone wanted they could buy it off me at £10 discount. A 'friend' then put a laughing emoji and said I must be joking.

I don't want to go on my own, but I also don't want to lose money. What's the etiquette here, am I supposed to just give the ticket away?

OP posts:
pointedlypointless · 22/09/2024 13:56

I would offer pay .
Most of my friends would then say, no need.
Then I would buy ALL drinks, snack etc
Generously thanking

ExquisiteEmelda · 22/09/2024 13:57

Who’s going to pay £50 just to keep you company? I wouldn’t dream of charging any more than about a tenner.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 22/09/2024 13:58

There’s not a specific etiquette I agree.

But you need to think whether this is actually attractive. £10 discount isn’t very much and let’s face it, if you get no takers you’re out of pocket anyway, whilst having to attend alone. So you’re sort of asking for company plus requesting that they pay for the privilege.

In those circumstances, if you wanted company, I would have offered the ticket for free, but only to people you really like and want to spend time with.

Edit - then the person would either offer you some money towards it, or buy you some drinks etc on the night.

Mill3nnial · 22/09/2024 13:59

I think it depends.Obviously if it's something like Taylor Swift or Oasis tickets then people would jump at the chance but if it's not in high demand then I can't imagine you'd have a lot of interest.

When is the event? Presumably it was short notice and the person would actually want to spend time with you unless it's an in demand event.

I'd be more inclined to invite a good friend for free who I'd actually like to go with

SweetSakura · 22/09/2024 14:00

daisym00n · 22/09/2024 13:46

I’ve spent lots of time over the past year looking for people to come to events with me instead of my husband who has a chronic condition. I would never dream of asking them to pay as I assume if they particularly wanted to go they would have bought a ticket already. But in all cases they have offered to pay or bought all the drinks, paid for parking etc

Yes, this is the right etiquette, you offer it for free but anyone decent then finds some way to thank you whether it's paying for parking/buying drinks or contributing what they feel appropriate towards the ticket costs

(Like you Daisy I often can't go at the last minute due to chronic illness so DH then takes a friend)

Mill3nnial · 22/09/2024 14:00

Let us know if you manage to find someone to go with.

Bournetilly · 22/09/2024 14:02

Depends who you are seeing. If it was sold out/ your friends were looking for tickets then I think it would of been fine to offer it at a discount, I would say 50% discount though with it being last min.

If it’s not sold out/ someone popular then I’d give it away.

Moro93 · 22/09/2024 14:04

I’d have just said £20 or £30 for the ticket, if it was £60, or even said whoever goes can have the ticket but buy a drink/snack at the event. Saying £10 off a £60 ticket does seem tight.

Undercoverstory · 22/09/2024 14:04

FriYayyy · 22/09/2024 13:15

Or she might mean "you must be joking, why would I want to pay £50 to sit with you all evening catching Covid"

Oh yes, this is probably most likely

whatkatydid2014 · 22/09/2024 14:07

I’d just invite someone. To be honest if we had a pair of tickets we couldn’t use last minute I’d just gift those too. I’ve even got a theatre ticket we couldn’t use exchanged for two cheaper seats a different night of the run and passed them on. What goes around comes around and others will generally offer back/pay for drinks etc so it probably all evens out. If it doesn’t at least the money wasn’t wasted and someone you like had a nice time.
People mentioning Taylor Swift/Oasis as an exception but I was offered a ticket to a similar event a while back by a friend when her OH couldn’t go and she wouldn’t even tell me what it cost so I could pay her for it. I drove us, bought all the drinks/dinner and picked up some merchandise for her OH. As I said what goes around comes around 🤷🏼‍♀️

FriendlyNeighbourhoodAccountant · 22/09/2024 14:09

If they wanted to go they'd have bought a ticket already, and in this case you've already "lost" the money as it's been spent. You're trying to mitigate your loss by charging your friends which doesn't sit right with me to be honest.

Dishwashersaurous · 22/09/2024 14:09

In this situation the economics are clear.

You have already spent the money. Therefore it has cost you are certain amount.

One of you can no longer attend.

Whether one, both or none of you attend you have spent the money.

So you can either attend yourself or offer the ticket to a friend to accompany you, if you think that you would enjoy attending more with a friend than going alone.

ZenNudist · 22/09/2024 14:11

The etiquette in these circumstances is you offer the ticket for free and your friend if they like the band/event (and aren't just coming to keep you company) says "are you sure you don't want any money"? You then both insist that in your case its free and in her case she pays, then she settles on buying you dinner or drinks at the event by way of thank you.

Eddiemeg · 22/09/2024 14:15

H

Pomegranatecarnage · 22/09/2024 14:18

I tested positive for Covid on Thursday, so gave away my ticket to an event. I wouldn’t ask for money in your situation either. I hope your DH is feeling okay, this variant is hideous.

greencheetah · 22/09/2024 14:23

You have already spent the money, so I would definitely just give the ticket away.

Why can’t you go on your own?

BirthdeighParteigh · 22/09/2024 14:25

Yep, you’re being cheap and trying to profit from your friends.

If it’s an event they’d be interested in, then why didn’t you organise to go with them in the first place? It’s a second rate invite at best, so the only way to do that graciously is to make it a freebie. If you’re lucky they’ll buy the drinks/ice cream.

Threeboystwocatsandadog · 22/09/2024 14:26

A 'friend' then put a laughing emoji and said I must be joking.

I think she was being polite. I can’t think of much I would rather do less than go to a concert with someone whose husband has tested positive for Covid and she’s being asked to pay for the privilege!

DemonicCaveMaggot · 22/09/2024 14:28

I have been in your situation and offered the ticket for free. My friend offered to pay for it as it was actually somewhere she wanted to go. If she had taken it just because it was free she would probably have bought me a couple of drinks on the coach (it had a bar on board).

I don't think you were rude to make the offer you did, everything has a price and that was yours, the problem is that you might not find someone who is willing to pay £50 at such short notice. The friend was rude in making the comment.

TulipCat · 22/09/2024 14:29

In my circle of friends, the etiquette in a situation like this is for the ticket to be offered for free, the taker to offer to pay for it, the giver to say no, and then the taker to buy the drinks/pay the parking or whatever other incidental expenses there might be.

Icanwalkintheroom · 22/09/2024 14:33

Investinmyself · 22/09/2024 12:41

You’ve already spent the money though. So you can either go alone and waste his ticket or ask a friend so you have company. In the circumstances with friend not really wanting to go just being a last minute stand in I wouldn’t expect them to pay. It’s just husband passing on a ticket he can’t use.

Yep exactly this. The person taking the ticket is doing you a favour really, so I wouldn’t expect them to pay. They might buy a drink or something to say thank you.

Waitformetoarrive · 22/09/2024 14:33

i would have offered to a friend for free if attending with me but if I was selling on a public site such as fb i would have offered both with a discount.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 22/09/2024 14:43

I don't think there's an agreed etiquette and you've done nothing wrong by asking for money. But I think it would work better to offer the ticket to your friends without mentioning payment, and see if they offer. If not, ask yourself how you feel about just letting it go and enjoying their company. They might buy you a drink instead of paying.

Tiswa · 22/09/2024 14:50

The problem is your two wants are not necessarily aligned you don’t want to go on your own but you also don’t want to lose money.

so going on your own will definitely lose money (the ticket) someone won’t get to use it and you won’t enjoy it so much - all negatives

not going means you lose all the money and 2 tickets go spare

offering it out as a free ticket means you don’t lose any other money (either way he can’t go) you enjoy it and the ticket gets used

Justgorgeous · 22/09/2024 14:53

£10 off ? I would have just treated a friend to it. Odd behaviour.