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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think about a home birth for my first baby?

147 replies

consideringhomebirth · 22/09/2024 12:17

Trying to decide. Initially I thought home birth was a crazy idea and that things can go wrong in a split second, but I have seen research online which says there is actually no increased risk. Now I am thinking twice.

I know I either want a no-interventions birth, or a planned caesarean. Two extremes but I don’t think labouring for ages in my hospital would be ideal for me and I would feel quite stressed, plus the recent enquiry into UK maternity services is not great. 45% of all births in the last couple of months at my trust were C-sections, majority being emergency ones. A large proportion of women seem to end up being induced and there is a high rate of induction being unsuccessful and leading to emergency section or assisted deliveries, which would be the worst of all worlds for me.

I am low-risk and baby measuring on the 60th centile. Is home birth the gamble everyone says it is? We are 10 minutes from the hospital by car. If we went for this option we would have midwives at home from the homebirth team and you get transferred to hospital should anything be not quite right.

I’d be so much more relaxed at home- but only if everything went right, obviously, and I understand birth is quite unpredictable.

I’m speaking to my midwife about the options I’m considering soon. In the mean time any thoughts or experiences welcome. :-)

OP posts:
BunsenBurnerBaby · 22/09/2024 12:20

I planned home birth for DC1. I laboured at home for 12 ish hours before being blue lighted in for a forceps assisted delivery. We are 45 minutes from the hospital. Births often don’t go to plan but as long as you accept that, all good. I would make the same set of decisions again!

DappledThings · 22/09/2024 12:22

I wasn't interested in a home birth for my first and refused to consider one (against midwife advice who said I should because first was quick) for my second. Partially the risk factors but mostly because of the mess. I loved being able to shower in a nice big shower where all the mess and bloody towels were left behind and come home clean and comfortable to my clean and comfortable home.

I don't get wanting to have all that disruption and muck at home.

ReturnoftheBink · 22/09/2024 12:27

You will get very mixed opinions on here. I did it after reading the home birth study. There is actually a slightly heightened risk for a home birth for first timers (can’t recall the details of for what and for mother and/or baby).

Some factors that influenced me towards home birth that were not allowed for in the study that I think would make my personal odds better. The thing now compared to then that would make me more cautious is much poorer ambulance performance.

I hate hospitals so would have been more stressed to the point where it may have slowed things down

Very close to major hospitals if needed to transfer

Dedicated and experienced homebirth team

mrsed1987 · 22/09/2024 12:27

I was told to consider it because my first was quick and 2nd could be quicker. I didn't want one due to the mess also! Lol

I had both of my children in the Midwife led unit - in the pool. Is that a possibility for you? It was lovely and relaxing and also nice to have your own private space and bath room for a shower afterwards.

It's not mad to consider at all, personal preference!

ReturnoftheBink · 22/09/2024 12:28

Oh and the midwives totally cleared up - would never have known a birth had taken place there.

Calmafter · 22/09/2024 12:31

BunsenBurnerBaby · 22/09/2024 12:20

I planned home birth for DC1. I laboured at home for 12 ish hours before being blue lighted in for a forceps assisted delivery. We are 45 minutes from the hospital. Births often don’t go to plan but as long as you accept that, all good. I would make the same set of decisions again!

This was my friend’s experience too, also planned a water birth. I think it’s fine to plan for it, but have a bag ready in case it doesn’t go to plan. I’m something of a worrier so would not have felt comfortable giving birth at home
and ultimately had ECS. This was 21 years ago though so maternity care might have been better then (but it still wasn’t brilliant)

HowMuchGravy · 22/09/2024 12:31

I liked the idea of a home birth for my first but it didn't seem practical, and knew I'd likely end up in hospital anyway. But everything slowed down once we got there and ended up with forceps delivery and a haemorrhage.

Decided to have a home birth for my second and it was just perfect, so glad I made that choice.

With hindsight if I'd stayed at home with my first it would have been far less stressful and wouldn't have needed the intervention. But you can't predict these things.

2timesmum · 22/09/2024 12:32

I planned a home birth with my first which was cancelled due to heavy snow. Had a lovely water birth in hospital, no interventions but haemoraged after. I was pretty calm and felt looked after with everyone rushing into the room but DH was petrified. Needed fluids and observation unit after.

Midwives said if had been at home would have been blue lighted in which would have been a much scarier experience.

Although you are 10mins from hospital you may need to wait for ambulance which will increase time.

Have you been to look round MLU at hospital? There are birth pools and more relaxed atmosphere.

You have to make plan you are happy with and accept risks. Also, as happened with me, your home birth could be cancelled due to weather or staff numbers so don't set your heart on one outcome

Calmafter · 22/09/2024 12:32

ReturnoftheBink · 22/09/2024 12:28

Oh and the midwives totally cleared up - would never have known a birth had taken place there.

Something that made me laugh - my friend who planned the water home birth sent her husband out to by a new sieve. He was very puzzled but she wouldn’t tell him why 🤣

Beansandneedles · 22/09/2024 12:32

I had a home birth. It wasn't my original plan. I went for a look around the birthing suite and was for some reason really really anxious having been totally calm throughout my pregnancy. The next time I met my midwife I was just sobbing and she suggested a home birth. It was the week before Christmas and I was due on 1st Jan so was quite something to get us on the books with the HB team and get a birth pool etc but I'm so glad I did. My labour lasted over 2 days, did have a little wobble at some point but rang the hospital and they said it sounded like I was going okay so stayed at home. No pain relief, no interventions, very calm throughout, baby born in the water, totally chilled. I was so relaxed the midwife underestimated how quickly things were moving and didn't call the second midwife till it was too late 😂 baby was already here. We were really really lucky.

Did the same for #2, which meant we didn't have to consider logistics for childcare whilst we went to hospital etc. She was slightly more forceful in her arrival but still no regrets.

Was very lucky to have a great midwife team and DH who dealt with the tidy up both times whilst baby and I slept. Honestly the feeling of being tucked into my own bed with baby and DH, midwifes made us some tea and toast 😍not having to travel anywhere either whilst in labour or with a new tiny person, not dealing with the noise of wards and other people...was just absolutely the right decision for us!

Mandylovescandy · 22/09/2024 12:33

Had a home birth though not with first and it was lovely so I would recommend in general. Not particularly messy - buy some cheap plastic shower curtains to put down and then towels on top. Midwives cleaned up. I think the stats are about 50% of first births end up transferring to hospital (only about 10-15% for second and subsequent births) so as long as you are prepared for that possibility and sounds like you are so close to hospital so why not

Superfoodie123 · 22/09/2024 12:39

2 home births, 1st and 2nd. Beautiful experiences still hard as birth is of course, mess wasn't overwhelming and the midwives sorted it anyway. Magical experiences in the hours after with baby tucked up with us in our safe place. You can do it! Just be open minded that things can change.

DappledThings · 22/09/2024 12:40

All the talk of midwives cleaning up never changed my mind. I'd still know all that blood and everything else had been there and down my drain. Each to their own but I'd hate it personally.

MovingTooFast121 · 22/09/2024 12:41

My first was also a booked home birth turned ‘emergency’ caesarean. However we transferred at about 5cm as he was back to back and I felt really pushy and couldn’t handle the pain and wanted drugs. We actually transferred under our own steam (technically against policy but the Homebirth midwives were happy) rather than by ambulance. I got to 9cm in the hospital and then just didn’t progress because of his position. We would have been fine to transfer at any time as it was never critical. It was just one of those bad luck situations that wasn’t going to happen how I’d hoped.

I’ve got plenty of friends who have had homebirths with their first and have been lucky to attend many as a midwife. Skilled midwives will know fairly early on when a transfer is a good idea but you can predict everything so there is always a degree of risk, obviously.

Spinderellaseverywhere · 22/09/2024 12:44

Personally I wouldn’t because things can go wrong and they can go wrong quickly.

I don’t think YABU to consider it but it’s not for me. Maybe I would have considered it for second if I had been low risk and had a normal delivery first time.

cfdaaeffssfg · 22/09/2024 12:54

I've had a hospital birth (first baby) and two Homebirth's. I'd planned a home birth for my first baby but I let the nhs bully me into an induction which I very much regret.

Ignore those commenting about the mess - most women who have had a Homebirth know it's a case of chucking a few towels in the wash and the pool liner in the bin if you used a birth pool. I didn't do any of the clean up for either birth, husband and midwife did it together. It didn't take them long either time and you would never have known a baby had been born shortly before.

Don't let the fear of "a bit of mess" put you off. Join the home birth groups on Facebook, lots of helpful and practical advice on those.

user1491396110 · 22/09/2024 13:07

I'm surprised at the people that have planned home births and then had to use an ambulance to go to hospital. That ambulance could have been needed to save someone's life if they had found their own way to hospital when in labour.

My neice was born not breathing with the cord around her neck, it took them a long time to get her breathing. I dread to think what would have happened if they weren't in hospital

SquashPenguin · 22/09/2024 13:10

My baby (also my first) wouldn't be here if I'd opted for a home birth. The idea of one never really crossed my mind, but I'm glad I didn't. I'm sure you'll get plenty of people on here with different experiences though.

OrdsallChord · 22/09/2024 13:14

I don't trust the ambulance service enough. Transfer rates for first timers are quite high.

CockneyWheezer · 22/09/2024 13:15

I don’t think YABU to consider it, but what you say about wanting either a no-intervention home birth or a planned section makes me wonder if you’re being entirely realistic about what birth is like ie. messy, unpredictable, no easy option!

I totally understand first time Mum anxiety about the unknown, so not being mean. But whatever you plan, expect things to change.

Button28384738 · 22/09/2024 13:17

I didn't want one and I'm glad I didn't. But you have to go with what feels right for you, discuss with your midwife and make a backup plan go to hospital if you need to.
It isn't more risky it's just that you might end up being transferred to hospital in labour.

DappledThings · 22/09/2024 13:19

cfdaaeffssfg · 22/09/2024 12:54

I've had a hospital birth (first baby) and two Homebirth's. I'd planned a home birth for my first baby but I let the nhs bully me into an induction which I very much regret.

Ignore those commenting about the mess - most women who have had a Homebirth know it's a case of chucking a few towels in the wash and the pool liner in the bin if you used a birth pool. I didn't do any of the clean up for either birth, husband and midwife did it together. It didn't take them long either time and you would never have known a baby had been born shortly before.

Don't let the fear of "a bit of mess" put you off. Join the home birth groups on Facebook, lots of helpful and practical advice on those.

I'm not scared of mess, I just don't fancy it. A viewpoint just as valid as those who aren't bothered by it. I'm not trying to out OP off, just giving my experience of why it was recommended to me by a midwife for DC2 and why I just laughed, said no thank you and didn't discuss it any further.

Maria1979 · 22/09/2024 13:21

consideringhomebirth · 22/09/2024 12:17

Trying to decide. Initially I thought home birth was a crazy idea and that things can go wrong in a split second, but I have seen research online which says there is actually no increased risk. Now I am thinking twice.

I know I either want a no-interventions birth, or a planned caesarean. Two extremes but I don’t think labouring for ages in my hospital would be ideal for me and I would feel quite stressed, plus the recent enquiry into UK maternity services is not great. 45% of all births in the last couple of months at my trust were C-sections, majority being emergency ones. A large proportion of women seem to end up being induced and there is a high rate of induction being unsuccessful and leading to emergency section or assisted deliveries, which would be the worst of all worlds for me.

I am low-risk and baby measuring on the 60th centile. Is home birth the gamble everyone says it is? We are 10 minutes from the hospital by car. If we went for this option we would have midwives at home from the homebirth team and you get transferred to hospital should anything be not quite right.

I’d be so much more relaxed at home- but only if everything went right, obviously, and I understand birth is quite unpredictable.

I’m speaking to my midwife about the options I’m considering soon. In the mean time any thoughts or experiences welcome. :-)

You are putting your and your baby's life at risk no matter how small so I would say no.

TheShellBeach · 22/09/2024 13:22

As a midwife I attended lots of home births. Many were first babies.
I'd advise you to go for it.

bakewellbride · 22/09/2024 13:24

Labour can often be long op. Even though I had a 'hospital birth' I actually laboured at home for the first 12 hours then just had the final few hours in a lovely birth pool with just a bit of gas and air the end. The lights were dimmed so the room was nice and dark and I had my music. It was brilliant! Home and hospital best of both worlds - it definitely doesn't have to be one or the other start to finish.

Hospital births don't have to be cold and clinical 100% of the time but they are best especially for first timers imo. Things can go wrong so why would you want to risk yourself and your baby?

I know someone who definitely would've died if she'd have given birth at home and she was in her twenties, healthy and had a low risk pregnancy. Not even that rare either. Please think carefully.