DH searching massages and escort sites

[Neverbelonging]

DH says I’ve sexually deprived him
for months. We have 3 kids I work full time and also studying. He works 15 hours and seems to have a lot of spare time!!

I’ll start by saying we have a lot of banter in our relationship. He will joke that oh I’d love a massage and a happy ending and I’ll be like go on then enjoy it..

But I wouldn’t expect him to act on it and truly I don’t believe he would. His search history over the past few days has been porn (not bothered about that) then escort websites.

Ive got no sex drive I’m exhausted everyday and quite frankly I don’t want to have sex with someone that isn’t the best partner. I feel I have just withdrawn myself from him and I’m not bothered anymore.

He’s basically tried to turn it around and put the blame on me because I haven’t had sex with him in months.

it’s understandable that you don’t want to have sex, you’re exhausted & it sounds like you have a partner that’s contributing to this.

Stop with the ‘banter’ and have a real conversation.

You don’t want him to act on it but he’s started searching for those things, you’re in dangerous territory where he could do something & say you said you wouldn’t mind, damage is done & you’ll be confused/gaslit that you did verbally agree to it.

You need to sit him down & explain how you really feel about cheating & make clear that your relationship isn’t great at the moment & both come up with ideas on how to improve things.

Why is he only working 15 hours? No wonder you are knackered. If he is only part time, then I would expect him to pick up most of the childcare, cleaning, shopping, cooking and the mental load of the children. Something tells me he isn’t going that though?

You need an honest conversation with him.

He sounds foul. Personally I'd tell him to crack on and get him to move into a separate room (if I wanted to keep him around for the kids) or preferably a separate house.

He's a waste of space.

How would ve like if you told him he was "financially depriving" you by only working 15 hours a week.

You are raising 3 kids, working full time and studying. Do you know realise you are far better than this insulting sleezebag?

Grim. I don’t accept being treated like this in a relationship. That’s not a decent man and i would 100% be making an exit plan.