SIL visiting, kids makingh mine ill and a general IL whinge

[littleducks]

Maybe i am so genuine opinions but dont be to harsh!

ds is 3 weeks old. when he was born sil didnt come and visit for a week, this was very odd as within the family and culturally for dh as well a new baby is normally welcomed into the family with lots of guests. I had ds at home so no visiting times. Sil complained she found it hard to come with work, she works for an hour every week day to cover lunch. She has had two babies since i have been with dh, i cooked for her and her family after the birth of the first was at her house to help with baby and her older child and was her labour partner for the birth of the second when i was pregnant myself with my dd. Dh has always visited as soon as hosp has allowed him to.

Both dh and i were a bit upset that she didnt make the effort to come or bring any of her kids to see their new cousins, it is easier for her to come as she has her own car. After the weekend passed she came on first day of kids hols. She and bil wanted to go shopping in our town (they live in next town) and so wanted to park at our house. They came about 20 mins before dh had to leave for work in the afternoon. They stayed less than an hour, which considering i madde tea and served cake which took time to serve and feed to kids was not long at all. They complained about dds behaviour (she was struggling with jealousy of new baby) as she didnt really want to play with her cousins. She cried inconsolably when they left to go shopping though! SIL has then had two weeks off work and all kids off school for holidays, she hasnt been or called.

Two of her kids had colds with very runny noses. DD had it after two days and after a few days so did i and now poor ds is ill. AIBU to think that if she had visited earlier or properly stayed to help or just chat, it wouldnt have mattered but i now have two sick kids feel crap myself and she was only here for a flying visit. She didnt bring a present (i dont mind i wanted her here more) and this is why she said she hadnt come promptly as she hadnt wanted to come empty handed so her reasons are nothing to do with sick kids.

Bil complained yesterday when i phoned i hadnt taken baby and dd to their house, when i dont drive, dh didnt have time off work and i would have to go by two buses to get there.

AIBU to be a bit miffed, or is it baby blues combined with a bad cold and two sick kids so not an hours uninterupted sleep?

I think your sil sounds a tit! She should not expect you to go visit her when your baby is two weeks old, you have a toddler, you don't drive and the journey is two bus rides away.

Crikey, YAdefinitelyNBU, that is unbelievable. You should not be venturing out on public transport with such a tiny baby unless it is unavoidable.

YANBU!

How very weird to expect you to be the one who goes visiting THEM when you don't drive and have a newborn!! That's just ridiculous.

You've obviously been kind to her and thoughtful but clearly you are not going to get that back. So I'd stop even giving her any headspace if I were you. It seems clear from your post that she's never going to be the sort of SIL you'd want.

I think she could be jealous of you for some reason.

Your SIL is being stupid. Why don't you call her and invite her over? YANBU. Gosh a new baby is hard enough with out the toddler aswell, I would never attempt to take DS on a bus, he's a nightmare! Let alone with a baby too!

yanbu i hate these people that can drive that can;t understand how difficult it can b eto usepublic transport with small children

Agree with Honoria. She sounds a tad jealous.
Also to complain about your dds behaviour? thats going to help

They should be visiting you not the other way round at this stage.
Tell your dh to give them a boot up the backside!