Bosnian (white!) Muslim. Fed up of having to explain I'm born Muslim...

[sanellao]

Just that really!
I'm ethnically Bosnian, white with blond hair and green eyes and my whole family for as far back as it's possible to trace on both sides are Muslim.
Why do so many people I come across in the UK seem to equate "being Muslim" with being darker skinned like brown Asian or certain black African peoples? In fairness, the largest Muslim populations in our city are Pakistani and sub-continent, as well as various Middle East background Muslims.... But the Bosnian community is relatively tiny here. But....Why is is so inconceivable that a pale skinned blond person can be of Muslim origin too?
Haha.
I've recently started a new job and keep getting questions from colleagues (they're probably just curious or something), asking "when did you convert" or "what do your family think about you being Muslim"... When I reply that I was born Muslim and my family on all sides are Muslim I get met with looks of confusion.. Colleagues looking at each other then back at me.
Like, what's the issue? Haha.
Just wondering if and other white "born" Muslims feel these frustrations!

In just the same way, you weren't born catholic. Your parents made the decision to baptise you as one. If you were to decide one day that giving your head a wash as a baby was just hocus pocus, that doesn't make you a lapsed anything. The church can put whatever labels it likes, you are your own person. Only you decide if that label fits.

She now also has to deal with a whole lot of extraneous meandering off topic rumination about whatever.

The Devshirme System.

Traditioally Ottoman Sultans didn’t marry, they kept a harem of slave women and had a one woman/one son rule, where once a woman had given birth to a son he wouldn’t have sex with her again so as to not have more than one son with the same woman. The first Sultan that married was Suleiman, who married Hurrem, a Ruthenian woman that has originally been sold to the harem by Crimean Tartars.

But yes, citizens from conquered provinces could rise very high in the Ottoman Empire. The Ottoman Empire was quite unusual, especially for the time and in comparison to others, in allowing a measure of freedom of religion.

It's less usual and therefore less likely to be something people have come across or know about. They are showing an interest about it. You can choose to be frustrated and annoyed by it, or not.

People constantly mispronounce and misspell my slightly unusual name. This really frustrates loads of people. I choose not to be frustrated by it. It's just not that important in the whole scheme of things.

Why are they racists? They ask because they don't know. They're surprised cos they don't know. Neither of these make anyone racist so wind your neck in @Ifailed

@sanellao to repeat, they ask because they don't know. They're surprised cos they don't know. Why does this offend you? Be more tolerant.

Indeed!

Islam is the prominent religion in Bosnia and Herzegovina, with over 50% of the population saying they are Muslim, so it is quite common.

There are a lot of things to know in the world, and most of us don't know most of them.

For the vast vast majority of people, most of the natal Muslims they meet are Arab ancestry, or possibly African or Asian.

I was at a work event recently which included a new team member who came quite recently from India. There was some general discussion among the staff about India and quite a few were extremely surprised to find there are really a lot of (non-white) Christians in India. Similarly,as a Canadian, in the UK I have met fairly recently a lot of people who think that the indigenous people in North America are not Christians and in fact hate Christianity.

These are all things that for one reason or another they just haven't really encountered before. You can't expect people to know things that aren't as common around them that they've never had the chance to come across before. I expect you don't know lots of things about different people around the world too.

Maybe try and think of a quick one-liner - "Oh, many don't realize but many of us Bosnians are from longstanding Muslim families." Then move on to something else if you don't want to talk about it more.

Some people are racist

I find in the UK some Muslims are very narrow minded about other Muslim communities compared to other Muslims especially from the Middle East

The RC church my dad attends has a fairly significant Pakistani congregation, that plays with people's heads too.

I remember a Muslim teacher asking some Kosovan students about a traditional drink, I said to here, "These girls don't drink they are good Muslim girls" I think it was the first time my colleague realised there are white Muslims.

It's just people's experience, the schemata in their head pockets 'Muslim' in a subset of 'Brown people' and I don't mean that in a bad way.

I had a student tell me I couldn't cook, I responded that I could. She then said, "You can't make Jamaican food" and I responded with, "I make a mean saltfish and ackee"

I could virtually see the cogs turning and 'does not compute' fly around her head.

In my time I have shared a house with Jamaican woman who is white, I have a friend, she is black and her daughter is white as are her grand children. When her daughter was at school and got in to trouble my friend would go to the school and everyone assumed she was the step mother.

@FakingItEasy most Muslims in Britain are darker skinned, but not all. And certainly not all in the world.

OP

I think it is just that we see where we live and the people around us as 'normal' and when someone doesn't fit in that it plays with your head.

I worked with an Indian nurse whose husband was from NI, when she first went to meet her husband's family she was stared at in the street.

Whether you like it or not, people are asking questions because you don't fit their idea. It's curiosity not anything else.

TBH I feel it's quite rude to ask anyone about their religion at work, unless it's relevant (e.g. we're providing a lunch, does anyone have dietary requirements?).
I do remember the horrific events of the Balkan wars, and remember hearing about different religious groups then, including muslims who definitely had lighter skin/hair than the majority of muslims I'd known in the UK and seen from other countries.
As for being 'born muslim', you were born and whoever brought you up decided you were muslim.

It's not even racism. It's education.
And that doesn't lack just when it comes to religions in Europe but also geography often, as many of us immigrants found out unfortunately.

I'd say raised christian, as opposed to born christian.

Because Bosnian Muslims aren't very good at marketing. Not like there are any Bosnians Muslims on big TV shows or anything.

As you said there aren't many Bosnians in the UK. I'd think a vast majority of Brits don't know any Bosnians personally. You can expect everyone to have a deep knowledge of every country and culture from around the world. There are so many of them.

Not trying to sound critical but that sounds horrible … couldn’t you have just had one generic assembly for everyone?

But the population of Bosnia and Herzegovina is a little over 3 million people so while it's obviously very common in that country, it's a country with a comparatively small population and the number of Bosnian born people who live in the UK is also small (about 10-15000 according to Google).

Compare with people of Pakistani heritage for example, where most are Muslim, there's about a hundred times more people living in the UK and the population of Pakistan is also about 70 times more than Bosnia and Herzegovina so it's just basic maths/statistics most people in the UK don't know many, if any Bosnian people.

So while it is rude to question the OP on her religion in this way, it doesn't change the fact that most Muslims are not white and, for those who are, most of those will have converted rather than being born into a Muslim family. It could well be that there are more 'converted' white Muslims living in the UK than there are those who were born into a Muslim family.

And I have to admit, on the rare occasion I meet a white Muslim I assumed conversion. I do vaguely remember the Bosnian war but I was only about ten at the time so didn’t know anything about it.

I’ve never met a white Muslim. If I did meet one I wouldn’t question them about it but I would be surprised. I haven’t been to Bosnia, I don’t remember the Balkan war or know anything about it, I wasn’t old enough to be aware at the time and we didn’t learn about it in school. As a pp said there are many countries in the world, why would I know about the culture and religions of every country?

What's a revert?

I find it shocking that schools don't mention the Balkan wars - clearly it wasn't as widespread as WW2 but hugely significant and impactful across Europe! Mind you I'm also shocked that lots of other wars are not mentioned too. Clearly not your fault you weren't taught, but there's loads of info out there if you're brave enough. 😔

I agree with this. Sounds like people are just showing an interest and this is your opportunity to educate them. I would expect to have to do that if I lived in country different to my heritage.

This is true, and not just in the UK.
@sanellao , I think people just blurt out whatever comes to mind first. I am from the ex-Yu as well and have had to listen to all sorts of nonsense and prejudice, too. If you like the person, educate them, if you'll never seen them again, ignore.

Nobody is a revert to Islam. You’re a convert. I am Catholic and have never been Muslim. I don’t like the assertion that I’ve ever been any other religion.

But YANBU OP. It’s annoying having to correct people.

In 1995 8000 Bosnian Muslim men and boys (so predominantly white) were massacred in the first genocide in Europe since WW2.

That is why every in the UK should be aware that there are many white people of Muslim heritage.