To be rightfully pi**ed off ay DP????.....tad long sorry

[FAWKEOFF]

DS's childminder rang me at 7.45am to tell me her daughter had been rushed to hospital last night with servere croup...the little girl has spent all night on a nebuliser and has had to have adrenalin injections.
So obviously CM has rang to apologise that she cant have DS, so i am not able to go to college.

I would normally ask my dad to have him but he hasnt been feeling too good, and would feel guilty to drop it on him at such short notice.

I rang DP to tell him the situation and that she wouldnt be having him this week and he told me to take DP to his sisters.

I have refused to do this because DS doesn't even know her, and i dont trust that he will be looked after properly, he will also be upset to be left with her because he doesnt know her that well.

He then goes on to say "ANY FUCKING EXCUSE" .....i wasn't in college wedensday or thursday this week due to strikes.

Should I really leave DS with his sister when i am not happy with her parenting skills and my main priority is my son???
SORRY RANT IS OVER

That's a tad harsh of him!!

Can you ring your tutor and explain the situation - get someone to take notes for you or maybe they could email some class notes?

Hope CMs dd is better soon; croup is awful, poor thing

and the fact that he has started smoking again after all the effort i went through helping him...i stopped with him and went cold turkey while he had the champix....he is a complete nob jockey

why's he gone and ruined that then? What a waste of time and effort!!

At least you've kept it up - that's really good going, especially since he's fallen off the wagon so to speak

have already rang the college.....and texted friends to get work for me.....i am just pissed off at him for expecting me to leave him with someone i find incompetant, and who he doesnt even know......and for the fact he seems to think i want to spend the day at home doing nothing but tidy and dogsbody around the house. He is a complete shit head

we stopped in september last year... iahev not had a single drag....sont even smoke when ive had a drink, but he has and it has just crept up on him and he is now buying ten fags a day....I am dissapointed for the kids and i feel that he has thrown all my help and sacrifice in my face

ahh yes but now you can all gang up on him! Make him sleep on the sofa... he deserves it!

i may well do that...he has got all the mood swings again...i refuse to let him have a fag in the house so he reverts to secretly smoking out of the bathroom window...like i cant smell it

I have even found fags stashed under DDs chest of drawers, ive washed my hands of the situation

i may well do that...he has got all the mood swings again...i refuse to let him have a fag in the house so he reverts to secretly smoking out of the bathroom window...like i cant smell it

I have even found fags stashed under DDs chest of drawers, ive washed my hands of the situation

in an ideal world your lovely delightful thoughtful father and partner would be stepping up to the plate and taking equal share of this childcare crisis. He is behaving as if you are the nursemaid and and calling in sick once too often. He is behaving like a prize twat. You can tell him that for me. Surely he can take a day's leave or think up something a little better than leaving your son at a moment's notice with a woman whose parenting skills you do not trust?

I mean your partner and father of your child, not your father. Sorry for confusion.

Oh and the cigarettes under your daughter's chest? I hope they're not in her room- it only takes about one or two eaten to kill a standard toddler. Burn any you find is my advice. He won't dare ask you where they are if he thinks you don't know he's smoking again. Take charge, for your children's sake!

PS: I think if I were in your situation I might try to gather together a small group of like minded ladies with whom you could swap childminding if your arrangements are disrupted. Like that you won't have to lose any college days, and also will not have to rely on your (apparently unreliable) dear partner.

thankyou duchesse....my dad did offer to have him tomorrow for me but he is really not well, so i told him it was ok....its not the end of the world that i cant get to college is it????
and i did tell DP that if he was soo arsed the he should stay off and have DS.....it suddenly went quiet .

I think he is a shit for disregarding our sons wellbeing.

His sister has 4 kids and really only brings up 2...her eldest is at ours a lot because she doesnt like being at home, they never take them anywhere so i am taking her eldest away with us for a weekend break

She is also too bone idle to keep treat her other daughters hair with nit lotion that she has shaved their hair off

She is just not a person i would want to leave my child with and he should feel the same

DD is 5...but the cigarretes i found were flushed down the toilet and the lighter was thrown in the bin...i then went into his van and found more and ripped them up

actually Fawky, the college is an investment in yours and your children's future. It's not hte end of hte world if you can't go (and obviously if they were sick they would probably need you at home), but if your partner continues to be unreliable, you may miss many more days, and it will all start to add up. It's hard enough to go back to education when you've got small children as it is (I did a 2 year teacher training course when mine were 2, 4 and 6) without losing focus. I think you're going to have to be quite bloody-minded about college if you want to finish in a reasonable time-frame and start doing whatever your vocation is. There are so many potential disruptions, aren't there?

Men need training ime, just like pets, to perform the way you expect them to. They need everything explaining at first, and then reminding, repeatedly, until it strikes home. As an example, that episode of Desperate Housewives in which Lynette leaves a rat in the kitchen in to underline the dirtiness of the house while her husband is being a SAHD- that is the level of cunning you're aiming at.

well luckily its just revision we are doing at the moment, and i have a really good bunch of friends there who will photocopy notes for me and get the sheets i need.

I am doing this for the benefit of my family, i want to have a future where i feel that i am an equal breadwinner in the house.

I am going ot put DS into the college nursery next term, CM is pregnant and has had a lot of time off this year with her daughter, pregnancy and holidays and ireally cant afford to be let down do much next term.

DP is usually really supportive, but it has gone out of the fecking window due to hom withdrawing from fags....again he is a complete arse

College nursery sounds like a really good solution! Will he have a full-time place there so you can get some independent study done when you're not in class?

yes he will have a full time place.

The thing is i applied for the placement at the end of august...it was a spur of the moment thing...so i got the funding for the course but they had no childcare placements left at the college creche....i had literally 5 days to sort out childcare for DS and the only solution i had was a CM at the time. Things havent run so smoothly with her having time off, and it took DS a while to settle in. So because i have already done a year (nearly) i get a priority placement at college for him, whic h i feel would be much better for him