Would you have wanted someone to have a word with your child in this circumstance?

[Purpleturtle46]

On the bus and my son's friend and his friend who I don't know get on, aged 13. I am in the non-priority seats a few rows from the front and the boys get on after me and sit in the priority seats.

As the bus continues through it's route the bus fills up and some older ladies get on the bus, one with a walking stick. The boys don't move from their seats so I offer my seat to older lady with walking stick but some older ladies, in 70s, still left standing.

The boys didn't notice me and I was out their earshot unless I raised my voice. Would you have said anything to them in this circumstance? If it was my son I would have wanted the friend's Mum to draw it to their attention but I wonder if other parents might see that as an overstep. They had their faces in their phones the whole time so probably weren't even aware of what was going on around them.

YABU- You wouldn't have wanted someone to have a word with the boys and seen it as an overstep.

YANBU- You would have wanted someone to draw it to their attention.

My son walks to school with this boy every day so I know he isn't disabled in any way.

It ia simple to ask anyone politely, teenager or not, "Excuse me, would you be able to offer that person a seat?" - if not they can say no.

This is my gut reaction.

Yes, you should have spoken to them.

No, I definitely wouldn’t in your position, particularly because you were sitting down. I’d offer my own seat, even if it was non priority. I think trying to control what other people do is rarely a good look.

Yes - but many could be embarrassed to say no. Because just a ‘no’ would be seen as rude.

They may not want to tell a complete stranger - “I can’t give up my seat - I have severe Crohns disease” for example.

Yes I would politely ask them 'boys if you're able could you let x sit didn't. Whilst they may well have a hidden disability of health need the chances are pretty slim, whilst you can clearly see older people with mobility issues that could definitely do with a seat. Chances are the boys just didn't notice.

They will have to learn how to say so in that case. They do not need to disclose medical conditions, just a polite "sorry, I need a seat". The chance that both teenagers need a seat is fairly slim.

Yes, same here. Mine were brought up to give up their seats and stand for elderly passengers so I’d be horrified if they didn’t immediately get up when asked by someone.

I did offer my own seat, it says in OP.

Would you also ask the other passengers not in the priority seats if there are only two, as it seems there were several old ladies? I think it's straying into busy body territory tbh, making judgements about who is capable of what.

I know. What I mean is, I think that’s the extent of what you can reasonably control.

It's not unreasonable to speak to someone to ask if they can help someone else. I regularly work with some of the most aggressive and difficult young men you can imagine, and even they will generally respond well to being asked politely to help with something or someone.

The point of priority seats is that they should be given up first. If the boys can't stand, then yes ai would ask other passengers afterwards. I don't much care if someone thinks I'm a busybody, but I do care that those who need a seat get one.

@GRex yes obviously which is why I said there were more little old ladies than priority seats

No, OP gave up a non-priority seat for one and two remained. Buses usually have at least 4 priority seats and even if not, the boys were in two priority seats - the exact number needed.

I don't really get this fascination for finding some sort of "gotcha". People need seats, others are oblivious, check if any oblivious people can get up or not. It doesn't need to be over-complicated by confused minds.

@GRex you're overcomplicating and being weird. I asked if op would ask other people (ie not just the boys in the unspecified number of priority seats) - interesting to wonder if it's just children she would ask. Please direct your poor comprehension elsewhere thanks.

Second sentence in the OP: I am in the non-priority seats a few rows from the front and the boys get on after me and sit in the priority seats.
Please explain what you think a priority seat is.

I personally do think kids should stand for adults (especially those with walking sticks!)

However, i have seen this sort of discussion before and standing for adults is getting to be very old fashioned now.

In fact, im not from London but was visiting last month and used the tube a lot. I could not believe how many kids were taking up seats on packed tubes whilst adults stood. Some small kids too that could've been on a knee - and they were in priority seats.

In fact, an older guy (mid 60s at least) stood to let an able bodied child (of about 5yrs) have his seat!

Very back to front!

I would have hoped, in this situation, that the ladies themselves would have spoken out.

A lot of people think they are more entitled to their seat if they have paid, whereas an elderly person has a bus pass.

Who has seats these days is a contencious issue!

I'm 6ft 2, male, shaven head, fairly well built so I would definitely say something.

HOWEVER, given the incidence of knife crime in silly little boys I can understand why the op or the ladies didn't given they didn't know both boys