My two children are at a school and in small classes with another set of siblings who seem to have a propensity for being unpleasant and mean. We had started to become friendly with the parents mostly because the kids are all the same ages. I remember previously overhearing the mother talking after a few drinks about how her children are so mean to her and she didn’t know what to do. I didn’t pay too much attention to it at the time as I didn’t know them too well however over time I have seen the daughter saying mean things to my daughter several times and I’ve heard about her behaviour issues (physical and verbal). I know the teachers are aware off it and dealing with it. Luckily whilst my daughter does get upset if something is said and tells us about what this girl has been up to she isn’t on the receiving end off the physical behaviour, she has other friends and doesn’t seem deeply affected by what this girl says.
My son on the other hand seems to be developing a real attachment to the boy. He doesn’t have the physical behaviour issues that his sister has and is mostly friendly with my son, but he will randomly decide sometimes to exclude my son from play or put him down about various things. My son is a much more sensitive soul than my daughter and I can see that it’s affecting him and his self esteem. I’ve been trying to encourage my son to explore other friendships including through playdates with other children but he says this is the only child he likes. It’s really frustrating! He was like this at nursery where he had what the staff called a “bromance” with another kid and was mostly disinterested in other kids. Luckily that boy was an extremely sweet child so we didn’t have to worry. The situation here kind of reminds me off when my friend was “in love” with a guy who was clearly emotionally abusive at times but she refused to see it.
I think I will need to speak to the teacher. The children and parents seem quite dominant in the playground and I am new to playground politics so worries about blowback. How do you think the teachers are likely to respond? I want to prepare myself as to whether this will means the parents will be told that we have said something? I don’t think approaching the parents is the right way to go about it but I also don’t want them to feel we are going behind their back? Is there anything else I am missing here? Am I being unreasonable to think though that some people are just unpleasant by nature and it’s not something that can be changed by teachers?