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AIBU?

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Original poster

Hairdressing fauxpas?

33 replies

SnackSnack · 20/09/2024 22:35

I was at the hairdresser today and a lady I knew came in, we said hello and carried on with our appointments. At the end of my appointment, after I'd paid I went over and said hello and hoped she was having a lovely haircut. I don't see her very often and I like her.

The hairdresser cutting used to be my hairdresser but she had a mat leave and I ended up staying with the hairdresser I was passed to. It was simply because I like them both and I didn't know the 1st hairdresser's new schedule. 1st hairdresser has been short with me couple of times I've been in. She won't even look at me and when I crossed the salon to get my phone she was walking the other way and put her hands up to block herself from me.

Anyway, I said to the lady I know, "Aww 1st hairdresser always does such a lovely job." Hairdresser shouted, "What?!" at me with such a look of venom. I repeated myself. She said nothing and the other woman said, "Have a nice weekend", so firmly it meant I was dismissed.

I've been thinking about it all day. Should I not have approached them? Why did she shout at me? Now I'm crying and worrying that they think I'm weird and awful. I was just trying to be nice. I don't see many people, being on my own and having no family so I love to say hello. Maybe I was interrupting. Should I go in on Tuesday and apologise?

OP posts:
DeliciousApples · 20/09/2024 22:44

1st hairdresser sounds like she has an attitude problem.

BirthdayRainbow · 20/09/2024 22:46

No. You've no need to apologise. Maybe hairdresser 1 thought you were being sarcastic but she should be showing better manners than that. Ignore her.

EmeraldRoses · 20/09/2024 22:46

1st hair dresser is a silly cow, stop worrying about it, she's got issues, leave her to it, not your problem x

mullyluo · 20/09/2024 22:50

Neither of them sound like nice people, 1st hairdresser really rude and aggressive. Try not to worry about it, you did nothing wrong.

FaiIureToLunch · 20/09/2024 22:52

Yeah and the lady isn’t your friend either, she sounds just as bad.

Dandeliontea123 · 20/09/2024 22:53

You were just trying to be friendly. It's not you, it's them.

Original poster
SnackSnack · 20/09/2024 22:58

I feel so humiliated by the whole thing. I wonder if 1st hairdresser maybe thought, well if I'm so wonderful why does she not come to me anymore? Its simply because I need an early appointment and I'd only had her a few times before she went on leave.
At least it's a couple of months until I have to go again and I have a lovely hairdo.

OP posts:
LettyToretto · 20/09/2024 22:58

I mean, original hairdresser has shown herself up - WHY would you go back to her now?

FWIW, I would have paranoia and upset over this, but you've done nothing wrong.

Gcsunnyside23 · 20/09/2024 23:00

My friends are hairdressers and they always say they never take it personal when a client moves on but this stroppy cow never got the memo. Don't worry too much about it, you sound lovely and friendly but the hairdresser needs to get a grip

AngelicKaty · 20/09/2024 23:00

The first hairdresser seems to have a problem that you didn't revert to her when she returned from maternity leave - that's HER problem. And she's being rather short-sighted to treat you like that - for example, if your current hairdresser were to go on maternity leave (I'm making assumptions about their gender/age here) you would be unlikely to go back to the first hairdresser when she's been so rude to you.
YOU have absolutely nothing to apologise for so please don't even think of doing so. You sound like a friendly, polite woman so I don't think you were "dismissed" by your fellow customer/acquaintance - maybe she was also surprised by the first hairdresser's behaviour and just thought it was best to bring the interaction to a close? Please don't waste any more energy worrying about this and have a lovely weekend.😊

Secondstart1001 · 20/09/2024 23:06

You didn’t do anything wrong so don’t beat youtself up and please done apologise. I switch hairdressers as my salon based on availability and I’m often in their with my laptop on my lap working away as it needs to suit me and not them! And they always say hi to me and have a little chat. Hairdresser one sounds rude and spiteful tbh. Was there any manager there to see that ? What a bad look for the business as well.

AngelicKaty · 20/09/2024 23:07

SnackSnack · 20/09/2024 22:58

I feel so humiliated by the whole thing. I wonder if 1st hairdresser maybe thought, well if I'm so wonderful why does she not come to me anymore? Its simply because I need an early appointment and I'd only had her a few times before she went on leave.
At least it's a couple of months until I have to go again and I have a lovely hairdo.

Please don't. I've had to swap hairdressers a few times because of their maternity leave - sometimes I've reverted to my original one and other times I've remained with the replacement. As you say, it really depends on their availability/working hours (which may be reduced when they have a young child). None of my hairdressers has ever been snarky with me if I didn't go back to them - they know it's a risk when they go on maternity leave (particularly if they take a whole year off). Honestly, that hairdresser's attitude is childish and foolish and she needs to grow up. Just ignore her.

AngelicKaty · 20/09/2024 23:09

Gcsunnyside23 · 20/09/2024 23:00

My friends are hairdressers and they always say they never take it personal when a client moves on but this stroppy cow never got the memo. Don't worry too much about it, you sound lovely and friendly but the hairdresser needs to get a grip

Exactly THIS!

StrangeFruits · 20/09/2024 23:12

I imagine she thought you were being sarcastic. Her issue.

HowNowBrownCow2 · 20/09/2024 23:13

I think I'd just find a new salon to be honest. You're never going to feel comfortable in there now after the ridiculous reaction from the hairdresser so cut your loses and find somewhere else that you feel comfortable going to.

timeforanewmoniker · 20/09/2024 23:16

I would find a new hairdressers tbh, they obviously don't appreciate your custom.

whalesonthebus · 20/09/2024 23:18

Sounds like the 1st hairdresser overreacted, although may have found it a bit patronising - I think it’s one of those things that depends on how it was said. Your friend was a bit abrupt too by the sounds of it - is she a close friend or an acquaintance? I love getting my hair done and it’s pretty much the only “luxury” time I get to myself without being bothered by others - I’m not sure I’d want to be approached by friends/family etc! I’d prefer a hi/friendly wave but not anything more than that. Maybe me just being unsociable though….

desperatedaysareover · 21/09/2024 00:12

You didn't fucking marry her!

Skyrainlight · 21/09/2024 12:38

You did nothing wrong. The hairdresser is rude and unpleasant and I'm pleased you didn't go back to her after mat leave because she doesn't sound like a very nice person. Nothing to do with you. Don't let awful people make you feel bad. xx

Aria999 · 21/09/2024 13:37

HowNowBrownCow2 · 20/09/2024 23:13

I think I'd just find a new salon to be honest. You're never going to feel comfortable in there now after the ridiculous reaction from the hairdresser so cut your loses and find somewhere else that you feel comfortable going to.

Yes, this! Who needs to deal with this drama!

I imagine your friend was just thinking 'well, this is awkward' and trying to get the drama closed down.

Funkyslippers · 21/09/2024 14:04

I wouldn't find a new hairdresser. Stick with the one you've got. I'd mention it to the new one though and ask if there is a problem. You should just go back and if she feels uncomfortable for whatever reason that's her problem. I had similar with a woman at the gym. We'd have a friendly chat in the changing rooms. One day I started speaking to her & she just ignored me & has done from that day on. I don't care. I've been nothing but friendly to her but I just ignore her now as she still does to me

Lolatusernamesuggestions · 21/09/2024 14:09

I'd not go back. I know it's hard to not play events over in your head but draw a line under it now. Some places aren't nice. I went to a cafe recently, nothing to do with hair I know, that had a sign facing out towards the public and it said twats aren't allowed in here. The whole place felt hostile and the staff weren't nice. It's great that we have free choice and don't have to present ourselves for a second time. Breathe a sigh of relief you can choose never to go back.

AngelicKaty · 21/09/2024 16:25

Funkyslippers · 21/09/2024 14:04

I wouldn't find a new hairdresser. Stick with the one you've got. I'd mention it to the new one though and ask if there is a problem. You should just go back and if she feels uncomfortable for whatever reason that's her problem. I had similar with a woman at the gym. We'd have a friendly chat in the changing rooms. One day I started speaking to her & she just ignored me & has done from that day on. I don't care. I've been nothing but friendly to her but I just ignore her now as she still does to me

I wouldn't either if I were happy with the one I now had (and OP obviously is) - it's difficult finding a hairdresser you're happy with! Like you, I would definitely discuss the experience with the current hairdresser to see if she provides any clues as to what's going on. I'd also blank the previous hairdresser unless and until she speaks to me politely first.

AngelicKaty · 21/09/2024 16:26

Skyrainlight · 21/09/2024 12:38

You did nothing wrong. The hairdresser is rude and unpleasant and I'm pleased you didn't go back to her after mat leave because she doesn't sound like a very nice person. Nothing to do with you. Don't let awful people make you feel bad. xx

EXACTLY this! 👏

Funkyslippers · 21/09/2024 17:07

Also if she wanted your custom she would have got in contact with you if she was allowed to do that. If she's not allowed to how are you supposed to know she has availability for you as a client?