To say I don’t want brother in law to come?

[denurelady]

I don’t see my sister that often and we’d planned to go to an open cinema night tomorrow with a mutual friend and she’s now said brother in law is coming but don’t worry he won’t sit with us.

Firstly I get on fine with him, but I don’t think it’s asking too much that I can socialise with her without him? And plus he’s obviously not going to come and sit away from us as that would be weird.

They spend all their time together, which as a couple is normal. And I know I’ll never come before a partner but surely 3 hours isn’t asking too much.

YANBU. It was arranged as a "girls' night out" and he should respect that (as should your sister). Have they not been married long? It's still weird they can't spend 3 hours apart.

“They spend all their time together, which as a couple is normal.”

It really isn’t!

I agree with the previous posters.

No I mean just general as in they live together and spend most weekends together. I don’t think he has any friends, but she has a couple.

I just didn’t want it to come across like they work different patterns or work weekends so barely see each other.

I'd be concerned he won't let her go without him...

I totally agree with LittleOwl. Sounds very controlling. Is she ever allowed out socially without him?

I can't even believe in 2024 I'm actually writing - is she allowed out alone

What would she say if you told her you'd rather he didn't come?

Sounds a bit controlling.

Yes she’s allowed out alone.

I think it's normal to sometimes want to hang out with just your sibling, not their spouse too. (Even if you get on well with the spouse).

Maybe she wants him to come? Some couples just prefer socialising together I guess. Or maybe he really wants to see the film?

I’d tell her the idea of him coming but sitting on his own away from you sounds odd, and ask if he’s really that keen to see the film? Can’t he tell when he’s crashing on two people’s night out ffs? She’s as silly for not being able to tell him it’s a night out which isn’t for him!!

I know I’m going against the grain here but.. maybe he’d like to watch the film? It doesn’t seem like a big deal to me, unless you sister doesn’t want him to go (but sounds like she’s fine with it?)

Yeah she said he wants to see the film (it’s an old film btw, like I dunno 30 years old so it’s not like a new release).

I would just rather have a girls night with my sister which I rarely get to do and that it’s been planned as this since we booked it.

You have to tell her. “You know how fond I am of BIL but I had planned on having a girls night. Is that ok? We can arrange something with him another time.”