Day before/after wedding

[ellie09]

I am planning a wedding. I just want something low key as this is my second wedding.

The day before the wedding, we are having bridal party stay in the venue and plan to all have dinner. My DP wants to invite his mum to this dinner and said it would be nice for her to join us. Fair enough.

For the day after the wedding, he also said we should have a dinner with family before parting ways. I told him absolutely not, that I will likely be socially exhausted and will just want to soak in the events from the wedding and part ways with everyone after breakfast.

Apparently "his mum wouldnt like that". Basically I told him, I dont really care if his mum wouldnt like it. He seems to be fearful that declining this will cause some sort of fight.

AIBU for putting my foot down and saying no to this? My first wedding, I did a lot of things I didnt really like as I thought it was expected, and this time, I really want to do things my own way and feel comfortable.

I know from getting married the first time that the day after is exhausting and you just want some downtime together rather than having yet another day and dinner spent with family. I also have a very low social battery and drain quite easily after an event, so I may get pretty irritated.

It not like you're inviting anyone and leaving her out. His mam would just have to suck it up. We didn't even do breakfast with anyone. We wanted to be by ourselves after our huge day and relax in everyone's company. If you did tea just for her it would leave others out and I wouldn't be doing it. She would feel more awkward being the only guest and you 2 making gooey eyes over the table 😂. It wouldn't be happening xx

We did have dinner with the family the day after our wedding, but strictly because we wanted to.

We were very keen to do a walk the day after as we got married in a beautiful location that meant a lot to us.

So it was firmly "we're leaving for a walk at 2 and dinner at this pub at 6". ILs tried to fudge the plans a bit, but it was take it or leave it at that point.

Has he shown signs of being a mummy's boy before? I'd get to the bottom of that before marrying him.

And no, YANBU.

We were definitely not awake for breakfast the next day! Passed out after a long day and night and many late nights of wedding prep leading up to the big day.

We also stayed in a different hotel to the one we recommended to guests, but lots of family and guests chose to stay there together and meet for breakfast as suited them. His mum could always host a breakfast for guests if she wanted, you two don't need to be there!

We had breakfast with our guests at the venue but then left to go load up the car to go on honeymoon

Try and survive an Irish wedding!

I was at one a couple of years ago and honest to God it was mad. Day before eats and drinks. Day of..... the usual but in Ireland the party goes on in the resident's bar until kicked out at 4 or 5 am and a sing song and a drunken Riverdance is obligatory. Day after, Barbecue or buffet lunch, more hilarity (many still a little drunk from the day before), and then home.

I have never enjoyed anything like it in my life. Exhausting, but such fun.

His mum should be invited to the meal the night before! Why are you trying to exclude her from that?

I understand not wanting to go for a meal the day afterwards but definitely invite them over to the hotel for breakfast the morning after.