DH told me last night that the thing he had planned to do this evening after work, he was doing with another woman. Someone he met through work. She is married, they don't fancy each other, it's platonic and they share an interest.
He'd arranged it last week. He didn't tell me then, but is now feeling pangs of uneasiness and wanted to know if I think he's doing anything wrong.
Context:
Our DS has gone on a school trip for a few nights, so we have a couple of rare child free evenings together. We seldom get these.
DH is going away next week, for the whole week, abroad, for work. Once in a life time thing and I'm happy for him and want him to go, but it can't be denied that it's going to make my life harder for a week (juggling DS and working full time, DH usually does a couple of pick ups). That's OK, I'm sure he would do the same for me if I needed him to.
I have been unwell, in and out of hospital / various clinics after an injury about 6 weeks ago. It's making me a bit low.
DH decided to tell me who he was going with because he "felt weird about it" and basically wanted my reassurance that it was normal and fine. I did't tell him that, and instead said it my was not my job to make him feel OK about his decisions.
DH has form for doing something he knows is a bit iffy but doing it in such a way and building such a case of moral ambiguity about it that I seem unreasonable if I object. Its how he gets his own way. He's done this before (not involving women) and I don't like it because it feels sneaky, manipulative and weak. I told him as much.
Am I unreasonable for thinking this is not really on? Aside from the going out platonically with another woman thing, the timing of it and the way he went about it sucks?
To add the cherry on top, we've had a few difficult discussions about our marriage lately. The result of which being we agree it isn't at its best, we're both frustrated and both want to make thing better, and both need to put the work in.
DHs brother has recently ditched his wife of 10 years and mother if his kids to be with a skinny, child free person who shares his hobbies because they "have more in common". It makes me twitchy.
Yet somehow, I feel weirdly calm.
Incidentally he didn't go in the end. They've rearranged for Tuesday.