At my wits end. Help

[River19]

My DD is 5 and her friends live a few doors down. They are 5,7,8. They are constantly knocking on our door, asking my DD to play. They tell her to do naughty things. I tell them she’s not playing when she’s having her tea. 5 minutes later they’re back knocking. I saw them trying to open my car door as they saw Dds toys in there. They are constantly here knocking. When my DD does play, she doesn’t want to come home and they all tell her not to listen to her mummy. They are quite rude tbh. They all play together at school. I’m unable to speak to their mummy as she knows very little English. I’m not even sure she knows they are constantly running between the houses and knocking on our door

Seriously? She's 5. Don't let her play with children who are a bad influence.
My children are not much older and if someone told them not to listen to their mum they would automatically know these were troublesome children and would ignore them.

Stop answering the door to them. Let them knock. They'll soon get the message.

Open the door and say in a firm voice, 'No. Go away now, she's not coming out to play tonight or any other night. And if you knock again there will be BIG TROUBLE'.

Then shut the door and don't open it again. She's 5. You don't let her hang out with kids who are trying to get her to misbehave. And if they keep knocking go round when Dad is in and speak to him, if mother doesn't speak English.

I wouldn’t be letting a 5yr out to play full stop, but especially if they are influencing her in a negative way. Stop answering the door and they will go away or just tell them DD won’t be playing again so please don’t knock

I'm actually going through a very similar situation, live opposite some kids who's parents just let them out to play in the street and never watch them. These kids run all over the neighbours gardens up the street, leave their toys in people's driveways and even walk into people's houses! They've recently befriended my daughter (5) and I'm constantly stood at the window having to check up on what they're doing, going out and telling them not to go into people's gardens etc. I've caught them all in the house several times going through drawers and into rooms they shouldn't. I've instructed my daughter about what I expect from her regarding repeating neighbours privacy and not to come into the house with these kids as one of them is only 2 years old and I don't want the responsibility!
I expect I'll have to have a word with the parents at some point but I feel that they're just happy their kids aren't bothering them!
To be fair, we live in a safe cul de sac and the kids seem pretty polite, they just have major boundary issues.
Sorry no advice from me I'm afraid, but I'll be interested to read your replies.

Thanks. They come and ask for her toys and snacks and everything.

I have stopped answering the door but they just come back again and again and again.

Their dad owns the local chip shop, he isn't back till late. It's only their mum home. I don't think she keeps an eye on them

These children do too. I have seen them up someone else's drive way and hanging around my car peering in

They also wait on their drive way for us to come home all the time. They come running over and try to make my DD run off with them and tell her not to listen to me

This would drive me mad.

I think the only response (apart from speaking to the parents) is to firm tell the kids that your child will not be coming out, to stop knocking at the door and that you'll speak to their parents if they continue. They should get the message eventually! Hopefully the weather will turn and it'll be too cold to arse about in the street, that's what I'm hoping anyway!

Then for goodness sake behave like an adult if they are running over and trying to cause trouble for your dd! Tell them off!

Tell them, 'How DARE you behave like this? I will be speaking to your father about your behaviour. Go away'.

They are all under 8. Don't be so wet! I'd be down the chip shop personally telling their Dad 'No one is parenting your kids and they are becoming a damn nuisance. Either make sure someone is looking after them and they aren't roaming the streets - or I'll be calling social services and reporting you'.

I would just tell them she can’t play with them and make it clear to your child she’s not allowed- ever, it’s not a next time scenario.
Then speak to the mum and just say you aren’t comfortable with your child playing out and could she stop them asking.

Thanks. I did say to them yesterday that I was going to have to speak to their mummy and they just looked me and up and down over their shoulder and then 20 minutes later they were back doing the same thing. Their mum only knows very a few words in English so it would be hard to explain to her.

My DD was in reception class last year with the 5 year old

very limited English* I think she might only know a few basic words

I could speak to their dad but he is not around much

Oh then I’d just shout and scare the damn kids away.

Do you know what language(s) the mum speaks? If so, maybe you can ask someone to translate a written message for you that you can go and hand to her - or just write it in English and put through their letterbox addressed to their dad.

Use Google translate OP, visit the mum and say you want her to stop her children knocking on your door. Then go to the chip shop and tell the dad. Then if they come over, get them to come with you and take them back home and tell their mum to keep them away.

If their father is barely around, and their mother can't be bothered, then they're probably very bored. Unfortunately it looks like they've decided your daughter is their entertainment, especially since they want her to do naughty things. Kids left to their own devices will always get into things they shouldn't.

You're going to HAVE to step up and tell them to stay away. Set up a camera to point at your car. Speak to the father if his wife doesn't speak English.

You need to be consistent and routinely not answer the door and not give in. If you do this eventually they will stop. At the moment you’re answering some knocks and not others and this is not consistent

Tell them to go away.
Stop answering the door.
Speak to the parents.
Honestly, if they kept coming over I’d shout “go away” or “fuck off”. None of this wet “ooh, I might need to tell your mummy”.

A simple go away.

Go to the chip shop and speak to Dad if you can't communicate with Mum.

You've got to put a stop to this because they will carry on and it will probably get worse as they get older.

You definitely need to be much more assertive OP - tell them off, raise your voice and give them what for! Go and speak to the mother, she probably understands more than you think. If they keep knocking on your door, speak to your local police community support worker.