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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this ok?

3 replies

Butterfly1011 · 19/09/2024 19:00

First post, just need a bit of perspective…

DS has just started Y7. He is high spirited, but very well behaved in school. He got into trouble today at school - from the teachers perspective for pushing, just a behavior point as punishment and following the teacher around at next break as ‘he can’t be trusted’.

However, from the information volunteered by my DS when he came home (I had and still have no record of this from school) it was a bit of rough and tumble between the boys having fun. DS was pushed onto the grass first and then he pushed back and the other boy landed on the grass (everyone was laughing and having a good time - no malice at all). A teacher saw DS push and came over to tell him off (fair enough even though they were having fun). We have since talked about it at home and he has hopefully learnt from his actions.

However, I am really quite annoyed that the teacher shouted at him that he was idiotic and a few other things (his friends were too scared to stick up for him and apologised to him later for not doing so). Is it ok for a teacher to call him idiotic and not say something along the lines of ‘do you think that was acceptable behaviour’ instead. It has really stuck with him, but I may be too sensitive? It just seemed a bad choice in words, although I appreciate they were all being silly.

Probably a none issue really. We’ll just have to learn from the experience.

OP posts:
greatcoffeebadhair · 19/09/2024 19:07

It’s really difficult, but yes I think you might be being over sensitive. It is hard to know what happened when you only have one side of the story.

I would try to be a listening, sympathetic ear to ds and ask him what he thinks he could do in this situation again. Would he say something to the teacher? Would he change his behaviour? Would he stick up for a friend in a similar circumstance? Etc etc

encourage him to keep telling you about what happens at school

Meanwhile I’d make a mental note and if it keeps happening and still feels wrong, then I’d approach the school

DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace · 19/09/2024 19:28

Yes I think you're being over sensitive.

Plus I imagine what was actually said was "that was idiotic", "pushing is idiotic" or "you were being idiotic" ie the behaviour was idiotic, not your child.

Butterfly1011 · 19/09/2024 19:29

greatcoffeebadhair · 19/09/2024 19:07

It’s really difficult, but yes I think you might be being over sensitive. It is hard to know what happened when you only have one side of the story.

I would try to be a listening, sympathetic ear to ds and ask him what he thinks he could do in this situation again. Would he say something to the teacher? Would he change his behaviour? Would he stick up for a friend in a similar circumstance? Etc etc

encourage him to keep telling you about what happens at school

Meanwhile I’d make a mental note and if it keeps happening and still feels wrong, then I’d approach the school

Thank you. Great advice.

He definitely would stick up for others and do ‘what’s right’, this was recognised by a different teacher last week in a ‘good’ behaviour point. He wouldn’t challenge a teacher at all (maybe have a moan at home).

So all in all not such a bad start I suppose.

Thank you for replying, I appreciate it.

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