Apologies for those who don't want to think about Christmas in September...
I'm convinced I’m not being unreasonable, but the majority of my immediate family disagree, so I’m putting it out there.
My family (mum, stepdad, siblings, step-siblings, grown up nephews and nieces, DH, and my young children) have a tradition of spending every other Christmas together. One of my siblings always hosts (they're the only one with a large enough property) and finds it a lot of work, despite us sharing responsibilities. However they're also the lead driver of us all being there for Christmas. They suggested we rent a big house next time, so no individual hosts. Everyone agreed and I advised booking early to secure a good place at a reasonable price.
I’ve shared several potential rentals in our family group chat, sparking discussions about location, room sharing, etc. Criteria became more specific over time (e.g., my nephew's and nieces wanting a pool or games room). Each time, we ended up agreeing to keep looking, but nothing was booked.
By spring this year, we still hadn’t secured anything. I reiterated my interest, provided it fit my budget, and said I wouldn’t bring it up again as I felt I’d done my part (having initiated the search several times without anyone else sharing any options).
Now it’s autumn, and suddenly everyone is panicking about Christmas plans. Unsurprisingly, remaining properties meeting our criteria are extremely expensive. I’ve told them that we will not be joining the big house if it's over budget so they should look for options that don't accommodate us. If they book something soon then my household will stay in a nearby hotel within our budget and join for a night. If they delay further and that option also becomes unaffordable, we’ll visit for a day but not on Christmas Day itself, as I don’t want to travel with young children then. It's our first Christmas where my kids all really get the magic! We're the only household with children of 'believer' age. This also means we're the only household covering the full cost for our family, as most of my neices and nephews are old enough to contribute financially.
Now my siblings and other family members claim I’m being difficult and ruining Christmas. My mum, trying to mediate, offered to cover the cost difference, but she’s struggling to afford it herself. I think it’s unreasonable; we had time to plan, but now I’m being blamed.
AIBU to stand my ground? I’ve been clear about this for almost two years and have offered a multitude of ways in which I could compromise. I genuinely don't understand how any of them think I'm in the wrong!!