I just need some advice on where to go from here.
Without going into too much detail, me and my daughters father separated and he moved out when she was 9 months old, she’s now nearly 3, I have done everything since (and when he lived with us) she was born, nappy changes, feeds, finding her a preschool, all her doctors appointments etc. the only thing he has done is sort of be a playmate for her when he decides to show up.
At first it was amicable but in the last year or so he has really taken a turn for the worst, he drinks and does drugs every weekend and sometimes during the week too, constantly misses work and that results in him ‘not having enough money to pay child maintenance’.
Now, I’m really not bothered what he does in his spare time, it didn’t affect me or my daughter, until he started showing up at my house belligerently drunk and coked up banging my door down. The thing is, when he’s drunk and doing drugs, he’s really violent, when he lived here he actually smashed my front door and patio door in to try and get in the house (I wasn’t there I was staying with my mum as it was my due date and I didn’t want to be alone). I have rang the police on 2 occasions when he’s scared me so much that I think he might hurt me or my child. Because of all of this I told him he wasn’t allowed round my house anymore to see my daughter. It’s also worth mentioning he has a very violent past, he’s been arrested dozens of times and also been charged several times with serious assault, which he has always managed to get past doing time in prison.
I told him that he could see my daughter every Saturday round his parents house (he’s 30 and still lives with them) he doesn’t drive so I have to drop her there and pick her up (I prefer this as his dad drink drives anyway which is a major concern) and he could take her to the park during the week but he’s not to enter my home.
This was going fine, until he started missing his days of seeing his daughter because he was drinking, this has happened dozens of times now and I’m sort of over it and sick of having my daughter crying and upset because she doesn’t understand why her dad doesn’t show up.
His family are a bunch of enablers and let his disgusting behaviour slide constantly, his mum is incredibly passive and while I understand you can’t control a 30 year old, she doesn’t seem bothered that he’s constantly upsetting his daughter through his actions.
After months of this, i blocked his phone number and started emailing instead so I had evidence incase I decided to take this further. He’s incredibly emotionally and mentally abusive towards me, constantly name calling and berating me for ‘ruining his relationship’ with his daughter, never takes accountability or owns up to his own vile actions. I stupidly gave him one last chance to see her during the week and take her to the park, to which right up until the last minute kept his promise, and then didn’t show, ignored my calls and messages, to which I found out he has gone out drinking instead.
I just don’t know where to go from here, I don’t want to communicate with him or have to see him because he makes me feel so small and worthless and really depressed.
Am I able to just cut him off and let him make his own decisions regarding an arrangement order etc?