New neighbour etiquette?

[Meloney]

A few weeks ago we moved into our first house in a quiet cul-de-sac in the suburbs. We still haven't spoken to, or bumped into any of the neighbours yet. Do we just let that happen organically over time or do people expect us to introduce ourselves?

Also the house is a semi, connected to only one other house which is in quite a bad state of repair, so presuming the owner may have some difficulties. We're aware a lady in her 70s lives there, but we've not seen or heard no sign of her (except for one supermarket delivery, so she does appear to be living there currently). Do we knock and say hi, or is that weird? We'll probably need some work doing on the shared chimney stack etc at some point so would be good to know each other.

Sorry, I probably sound insane but previously we lived in a small block of flats in London for 10 years and rarely saw anyone else in our building! The flat next door was a rental and had a revolving door of tenants over the years who we'd say hi to if we saw them in the shared hallway, but that was all.

We moved in to ours a month ago and haven't really met anyone either. The old couple across the road put a new home card through the door with a welcome note and with their mobile number on it, which was nice, so I messaged saying thank you so much and telling them our names 🤷‍♀️

This

My new neighbours came and knocked on my door when they arrived to look at the place after they officially owned it, they didn't move in right away. I appreciated it and later dropped a card through their door with my number on in case they needed me to do anything until they moved in permanently. I think introducing yourself sets things off on the right foot.

We moved into our first home 2.5yrs ago in a small cul-de-sac and we met 2 neighbours whilst we were outside our house moving in etc. My husband is very old school and grew up in a road where everyone knew everyone so he finds it odd. But people like to remain private these days I guess.

I would definitely knock on your next door neighbour especially if you plan on doing work on the house.

Thanks, I'll brave it and knock on next door over the weekend.

I think it just feels a bit weird for us because we're at the bottom of the cul-de-sac - feels like we're in a fish bowl at the moment and everyone is watching us! Will say hi of we see people in the street but won't try too hard I guess.

I found your post a bit sad @Meloney. You certainly don’t sound insane. Neighbour relationships are definitely something to be thoughtful about. But IMO, if you want to, of course you should knock and introduce yourselves. Your new neighbours may be waiting until you’re over the first throes of moving in. Or they maybe they’re all shy types…or not want a close involvement. Perhaps this applies more in a cul- de-sac. But honestly, you’re not invading people’s privacy to knock once and say hi, we’ve moved in to no. 6 . You’re not asking to be their best friends and the fact that you’ve waited a few weeks is a good signal that you’re not going to be demanding .

For context, I’m in a northern city and just last night there was a message on the street WhatsApp group that some new people had moved in. All the neighbours greeted them and welcomed them to the street. I know in all likelihood I’ll never meet them, but it’s a nice thing to do. Lest it seem my street is an exception, last year I was looking at a house in a poorer area, just from the outside, and got talking to the next door neighbour. She introduced me to several other neighbours who were passing and told me the whole street knew each other. They all appeared very friendly.

I recently moved and wasn't sure either. However, I purchased a bunch of flowers and a card and popped them round to our neighbour (elderly) who is joined on to us to apologise for the noise as we was moving in. I thought it would be an icebreaker, she died a couple of months later so we are currently waiting for new neighbours. I will be relieved not to be the new kid on the block 🤣

We live on an estate that was built almost 9 years ago and we were one of the first people to move in.
Over the years when new neighbours move in my husband makes a point of introducing himself when he sees them outside.
However, he does this because we have a mentally disabled child.
He is almost 13 years old but has the mental age of a 12 month old baby.
He can also be a bit loud sometimes and doesn't understand when we say be quiet.
In the past we have had horrible neighbours who didn't like our son because he isn't "a normal child" (their words).
So my husband tries to get in their first and become friends.
He also makes any new neighbours a cake and takes it over later.
However, I don't think he would make such an effort if our son wasn't wasn't way he was.
He would just let it happen more naturally.
I personally have given up making an effort with the neighbours. I will speak to them politely if I see them but I got fed up with some of the female neighbours ignoring me when my husband wasn't around.
I would alwayssay hi when I saw them and they would just look at me and walk away.
Now I just wait for neighbours to speak first if my husband isn't with me.

Hmm I've got new next door neighbours. When the house was sold ( bereavement sale) the sister of the old number told me names of new people ( along with thanks for keeping eye on the deceased lady(

They say they moved in I spoke to them and made them a cuppa as they hadn't unpacked kettle. They are completely gutting the place and I often chat to them when working outside. They apologized for any noise etc.

Seem nice people.

I've moved a lot and think the existing neighbours should make the first move. Moved last year, nb on one side put a card through the door and has been very friendly, but the other side act as if we don't exist. Wouldn't know them if I passed them in the street. Guess they had some issue with the previous owners that they have transferred to us? If we'd known yes we would have knocked and introduced ourselves. Waiting for the day when a parcel of theirs is left with us, as we think they wouldn't come round to get it.

Why should they make the first move? They probably think you are rude and offhand tbh

TBH, I'm saddened that they've not been to you see you to say hello. Although they might have been giving you time to settle, then too much time had passed.

I live in a large cul-de-sac (45 houses) and every time we have a new neighbour in the immediate seven or eight houses either side of us and opposite, we always go round after couple of days with a card and a bottle of wine.

As a result, we are really lucky to know a lot of our neighbours really well now, well enough to stop and have a chat, but not to the point where everyone knows everyone's business. We look out for one another, which is great in this day and age.

Although, I do remember a very young couple and their kids moving in a few years back who looked startled at us on their doorstep clutching card and wine. They looked absolutely confused by the gesture! Then one of their mum's appeared at the door and was gushing how lovely it was for us to pop over. I think she "got it" being older, but the young couple were just bamboozled. 😂 I later saw some other neighbours also popping over and the couple looked more relaxed those times.

But anyway, I went off tangent. Definitely go and say hello.

We bought brand new 15 years ago and have had loads of neighbours come and go.

We have never knocked and neither have they but I guess it's a nice thing to do.

I would have gone round in the first couple of days.

But equally, as an established resident, I would put a card through and welcome any new neighbours, and a note to let them know how to join the road WhatsApp group.

I think the longer you leave it, the odder it will be. Just go and say hello!

Why would you feel so angry and bitter towards neighbours you don’t know, just because they haven’t come round? I think the responsibility is on the new people but frankly it doesn’t really matter either way because we’re not 12 years old.

How odd, I definitely don't think it's the existing neighbours responsibility to make the first move.

I’m be just had new neighbours (but really miss the ones that moved out🥲) & I haven’t been round & don’t intend to. I will speak to them when I see them outside but I imagine they’re very busy.

It’s a lovely cul/de-sac where we’re all friends & chat a lot but I wouldn’t ever go round to new neighbours.

That's what I was wondering.

It’s a lovely cul/de-sac where we’re all friends & chat a lot but I wouldn’t ever go round to new neighbours.

Why not ? Genuinely curious.

Hi, if we get new neighbours on our road, I don’t usually go out of my way but speak if I see them. What I usually do is send them a Christmas card with our names and house number on. This can be a good soft way of introducing yourselves.