To say we'll let you know and then not do so?

[Mil3nnial]

How do you feel with unwanted invitations when it's open date? If it is date specific you can say you're busy but if they say let us know when you're free for dinner at the new restaurant in town how do you respond if you don't want to go?

You say "I don't fancy that place, how about X instead?"

That's if you like them/want to meet up.

If you don't like them, you say "sure!" and then never contact them again 😊

I should have been clear that this issue is that I do not get along great with the wife. We know them both as a couple and DH gets along well with the husband but I find the wife hard work and difficult to talk to. The idea of going out for dinner with them is not an appealing one! I don't want to completely burn bridges as we cross paths (I see the wife through work occasionally). I just don't really want to go out for dinner with them.

Ah. You must develop an all-consuming hobby immediately 😆

Do you have kids? If so that's an easy one - can't leave the kids as usual babysitter can no longer do it. An elderly relative to look after or a needy puppy would also do!

@charitablefund has left many posts on a few threads, all of which have been deleted.

Encourage your DH to meet up with the husband alone.

Suggest a quick drink together with them but you only have an hour spare so can’t do dinner.

Most people, not all of course, would get the hint if they invite you once or twice and you say, "I'll get back to you" and you don't - that means you're not particularly interested but don't want to be all "piss off and leave me alone".

Of course, sometimes, people who do that are really just a bit useless but my view on that is if people say, "I'll get back to you" and they don't, they either don't want to see me or they're a bit useless and I don't want to see them after all. And I hope that when I've done it to other people they've taken the same approach.

Surely most of us are fully aware that sometimes you like someone but you don't have the energy or inclination to take that friendship to the next level. So gently not engaging and not making an effort does not necessarily mean you don't like the person? I've had this happen to me with women who I am 100% certain do genuinely like me and I've done it to women who I do 100% like. Sometimes we just don't have the space for more.

I think you're right @IdLikeToBeAFraser

I'm normally quite straightforward but there isn't a nice way to say "no we don't really want to spend our free time with you"