To have decided it’s time to quit and keep to myself

[ForOliveShaker]

I work in a toxic workplace. Things have shown themselves over the last few weeks that make me feel I’m losing faith in humanity. I can’t be a nasty person and I feel this place I am at could make me. I work in education.

1. Staff member in another team lost her sister. A collage who is a wannabe for the in crowd said to me “earlier (bereft colleague) was complaining 2 days wasn’t enough for her to grieve. She wanted 5. I said “we are not the ones to decide how someone grieves. Then changed the subject.
2. Told a colleague in another dept who I have been out with on numerous occasions that her nephew does not have the correct qualifications to get one to my course. Colleague proceeded to ignore me with no explanation so I did the same back. Team leader called a chat about this with all involved. Nothing got resolved and the colleague said they felt stabbed in the back.
3. I used to go out with this colleague outside of work and actually remember the countless times I’ve been stabbed in the back by them telling others my personal circumstances that required time off the once. Then telling my ceo of the trust that I was considering leaving at one point, then mentioning things to others that I said in confidence.
4. I made a serious error yesterday and I’m aware of the severity. It wasn’t life or death just not a good mistake. I’ve come off sertraline so I’m making silly mistakes. I got one email from the main receptionist. But as I was busy couldn’t check. Then another from the office lead who basically framed the email like I was incompetent and reduced me To tears which is not like me
5. another colleague always turns to me with her problems and I can’t cope I’m going through my own things and can’t handle it.
6. I feel like a pressure cooker and like I’ll go off at any time.

Also I’ve been ignoring the colleague ignoring me. I’m petty and pathetic but pleasantries is all I’m willing to do. Aibu

It sounds like you are not coping with work life and it might be better for you to quit.

YANBU. Life's too short to put up with that sort of bullshit. We spend most of our waking lives at work. May as well see if there's a better workplace out there.

It sounds like you are really struggling and maybe it isn't the right time to come off the sertraline?

What do you mean by “keep to yourself?” Presumably you need to work for the money. Would you look at a different career?

I'd go back on the sertaline and find another job

OK I am not trying to be mean here but 1 is a non event, 2 sounds like you are as bad as each other (ignoring each other over something so petty is mad). 3 sounds a bit unprofessional but this is why you don’t go out with colleagues and tell them stuff you accept to be kept secret. 5 just politely make your excuses and walk away.

The mistake you made you have to acknowledge and work on, they will take your medical history into account in terms of any sanctions etc but if they’ve got a business to run they need stuff done properly.

TBH all of this seems like relatively normal work events and I think you probably need to work out how to establish professional boundaries or find a new place to work and start again. Or if you are genuinely about to have a breakdown take a sabbatical if you can afford it.

I'm guessing you are a teacher. I think you are in the wrong job.